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Hayleigh Apr 2014
Encased in a whirlwind of inner turmoil
We claw at rotten soil
To harvest something beautiful.
Something fruitful, of use.
To escape the abuse
Of our own thoughts.
We are caught
In a catch twenty two
Desperate to pull through
And
Make sense of
The dents in our thinking
The depths that we're sinking
The vacant eyes that are blinking
As we're thrown around inside
Our own minds.
Hayleigh Apr 2014
And when in I'm sitting and remembering
The times you've lied
The times I've cried
That you've bled it dry
Sorry doesn't mean a single thing.
Hayleigh Apr 2014
The stars they soar
As your smile it shoots through my veins
Demolishing the remains
Of previous trespassers
And the imprints they left.
You brush away soiled footprints
With one swift kiss
Placed delicately on my lips
And in an instance,

I am cherry cola bottles,
Cotton candy, funfair rides
Without a care in the world
I am racing down slides
With you i am ebbing with the tides,
Not against.
I am nights on the town,
A princess with a crown,
A smile, not a frown,
I don't drown today
All because you say
You love me.

I am floating
Floating high, high as a kite
I am amongst the stars and beyond
There is no need for a magic wand
To make my dreams come true
They are all embedded in you.

Chemistry pulsates between us
Two women from Venus.
The looks we exchange put to shame
Any love sonnet or story
You call my name
And angels sing
The joy you bring
Unexplainable.

With you I am strong
There is no matter of right or wrong
With you I belong
I am the most beautifully
Constructed piece of literature, song.
With you I am alive,
And living
This love your giving
Oh this love your giving
Could feed thousands.
With you I am complete
And there is no need to compete
For satisfaction
Because with you I am always satisfied
With you I am ebbing with the tide
Not against it.

You are the fight I swore I had ran out of
Months ago
You are the sheer beauty, purity and excitement
Of glistening snow
And I know wherever I go
You will follow.
You are the gentle breeze
The moments I seize
With both hands
And tie tightly to my heart
Every day is a fresh start.
You don't weigh me down,
You lift me up,
With you I stand on mountains
I drink from fountains
I laugh and smile
And for awhile
I am me,
The me I always sought to be.

And though the sands of time
Sift peacefully between us
Your grasp it tightens
There is no need to be frightened.

There is a reason for everything
You are,
My reason for existing,
A ring, a promise.
Safe and sound,
Til the ground parts us.
We shall be partners.
In crime, worlds at a time
We dance, our romance
Something that could never be crammed into words
Or wrapped up in poetry
For we,
You and me.
Are infinite, eternal.
And what we share
Indescribable.
You will always be my first and final
Love.

Love, love, love
I love you.
Hayleigh Apr 2014
Body vs mind
we are trapped in time
between us
entwined and confined
because we are dreamers.
Hayleigh Apr 2014
Let's say black because they say white
Let's stay awake because we should sleep at night
Let's smile because we should cry
Let's never forget to question why.
Let's walk because they said run,
Let's not talk because silence cannot be undone.
Let's go left because they said right
Let's stay awake because we should sleep at night.
Hayleigh Apr 2014
Those lies you spun like a spiders web
Took place, built homes,
Inside my head.
And I didn't try to relocate
Because all I could do was appreciate
That someone finally cared.

And yes I was scared,
Of the danger, of living with a stranger
The inconsistencies, the mysteries
The roller coaster that was you and me.
But I stood my ground,
Too thankful,
To finally have someone around.

Those lies they weaved,
There way into the darkest corners of my mind
And in desperation I gave up trying to find myself.
Still I remained a squatter
In the squalor, the mess

New levels of doubt and distress arrived
But I pushed them aside
I waited for them to subside
As I sat, in tears, screamed and cried
And I confided in you, trusted in you
A sea of unfamiliarity,
Swimming in a river,
That was murky,
Searching for clarity
In a place
Where nothing was sign posted,
No sense of direction
Desperate for any form of connection.
Feet rooted,
I made no attempt to escape
As your cape began to drown me.

You chipped away
Day by day
My foundations
And I so badly wanted it to be okay
Because I could finally say
I had someone.
Someone that said they cared
Despite the bruises I bared.
Hayleigh Apr 2014
You gave me these feet to walk
This mouth to eat
To laugh, smile and talk
These feet I grind into the ground
Round and round in circles I go
Until my energy levels hit a new low
This mouth it smiles
Automatically, despite the turmoil within me.
Luckily for others.
You didn't give it transparency.

You gave me these teeth to chew, to eat
These hands you gave me
To meet and greet, demands
These teeth are rarely used
There's never much opportunity to bite and chew,
And these hands prove use in inflicting another bruise
On my body.

This brain you gave me to function and learn
This voice you gave me to express
Opinions and concern
This brain it is broken, it serves to destroy,
It malfunctions, a dismantled toy.
And this voice it turns on the right tone, until I am alone.

You gave me these legs,
To stand tall and strong.
You gave me these shoulders,
For others to rely on
These legs they are weak
They tremble and fall
And these shoulders offer no comfort at all

You gave me these organs to keep me alive
You gave me this heart to beat, to change lives
These organs I starve
And this heart it slows
As thoughts of self destruction
Circulate and echo

You gave me these eyes
To see the world and cry
You gave me life, to live not die
These eyes are faulty,
They prove me harm,
This life, I sabotage, as the ringing of alarms
Gets louder and louder.

You gave me these fingers to write not fight
You gave me these toes to explore new sights
These fingers they write scripts of pain, and ache after awhile
These toes they march on,
Perhaps it's denial.

You gave me common sense
In an attempt
For me to able to differentiate
Between right and wrong
But this tongue in my mind
Is so very unkind
And this common sense
Forms no self defence
As the walls they crumble down.

You gave me these emotions to think and Feel
You gave me these feelings to work on, to heal
These emotions they malfunction
In a world of self destruction
These feelings they soar
Like hungry lions they roar
Emotional regulation
Was a skill
You forgot to give
And it makes
all these things you gave me to live
Hard.
And again I am scarred.
First draft.. Feedback would be hugely appreciated. Thank you
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