My unmade bed reminds me of my unmade head before you left and now all I see are stars and reasons why I can instead of why I can't and what love truly means and why when I fell asleep last night I was happy to wake up and I noticed the beauty in my breathing and how I want to laugh forever. I stretched and felt the cold tile on my toes and it tickled and I wanted to dance to music I hadn't heard before strings and drums and guitars and maybe I could learn the guitar and I could play music for someone else that didn't end in tears from locked up fears instead that just ended in a long melody that never truly ended and just played in the background reminding you to smile. I saw colours I hadn't seen before blues reds bright whites luminescent lights shining so bright I had to blink one two three times to not see spots but I had my eyes open and for the first time I wasn't tired and I wanted to keep them open for as long as I could soaking in everything I couldn't see until now. The world looked so clear outside, I felt for the first time like I was real and someone somewhere could reach out and touch me. If this is life I get it now I get why writers write why birds fly and why bunnies hop and dogs bark and why the sun rises and the moon talks and why clouds look like the most comfortable space in the entire universe. I get why you had to break my heart. I was already broken my whole life before you, and only now I feel complete, after being shattered.
Rough and unedited