There may be still something
Buried I forgot to mention
Hurried less of traction, worried
Mess of apprehension
Lost with flurry of attraction
Ever-tumbled trapped suspension
Meager fraction of retention
Costing furious reaction
Cold inaction, condescension
My distraction, not intention

You're with me through everything,
love, hatred, anger, lust, care, sympathy.

You give me life, so much life,
Yet I use you selfishly.

I hurt you,
I hurt you because I want so many things.

I want to eat a cheeseburger,
feel the delicious goodness slide down my throat.
Every burger makes you weak.

I want to love him,
even though he won't love back.
You ache and ache,
trying your best to keep me together.

I ignorantly take in hurt from people,
because I want to feel,
you wither away slowly,
like a tree succumbed to winter.

But maybe because I hurt you so,
you blossom and grow,
because you fill your vase with not only water,
but poison and honey.

And it is best to feel everything rather than nothing.

Remember me?

I'm the man
who stood by and watched
as your own Mother
your own Father
cut you out of their lives
and your own brother
told your husband he should have succeeded
instead of failing
to **** himself.

Remember me?

I'm the man
who pulled you out of closet
you would hide in
screaming, crying, wanting to
hurt yourself while
your own Mother
your own Father
your own sister
were deaf to your cries.

Remember me?

I'm the man who was there for
half a decade, learning to
care for you
bathe you
give you space
(Just don't lock the door, love.)
laid on your back
when the weight of me
was the only way you could
feel safe.

Remember me?

How quickly,
shamefully,
selfishly,
you forgot
on that day last June,
when you told me,
you were leaving.

I didn't forget you,
or that kiss I knew would be our last.
And I wish I could remember that
last look as you drove away,
but the image in my mind
is blurred,
just as it was on that day,
as the tears bent the light
from the face I loved,
as it drove away,
free of tears.