I was afraid and scared and alone.
No one their to comfort me,I
was only a little girl with no one to look up to.
Then the one that broke up my family also
brought me light,Your Light.
Your Word said You loved me,
created me to fellowship with you.
I was bad,ugly,sinful not worth anybody's time
especially not God's...I was unworthy.
But you spoke truth in my heart,my soul,my spirit.
I had not cried for so long,then You broke the gates.
You loved me...me.
I did not have to earn Your Love,You gave it so freely.
You wanted me,I never felt like anybody wanted me,but You did.
The pain,the abuse was so deep Lord some how You could penetrate
the walls I built by heartbreak and such unspeakable pain,
and You began loving me,healing me.
You made me feel special.
That I was worth the breath that lived inside of me.
Jesus You saved my life,I would have took it and looking back what
a waste that would have been.
It is not always easy,but You are so worth it.
Thank you for loving me,when no one saw me.
You are my heart...I love you.

Smile though your heart is aching,
Smile even though it's breaking,
When their are clouds in the sky,you'll get by,
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you...

Why do you look at me that way?
You know I can no longer stay.
You thought you could simply lie
and I wouldn't question the why's.
You played the Actor who did care
and with my heart you were not fair.
You would leave her then come to me,
Acting like it was just me and you and you were free.
How could you look me straight in my eyes,
knowledge of your misleading disguise.
You broke my heart, almost broke me.
At first I did not feel free,
At the end I'm glad I stood my ground,
And still to this day I found,that to my heart you are still bound.

Could you love me when I laugh,
Could you love me when I'm daft?
Could you love me when I cry,
Could you love me when you don't know why?
Could you love me when I don't feel pretty,
Could you love me when I want your pity?
Could you love me when I feel pain,
Could you love me when you feel the same?
Could you love me when I love you,
Could you love me and love me true?

Lord,I am so tired.
Body aches from the pain of disappointment and fear.
I wish I could be there with You and not here.
Last year, was so close,so close to touch,
But You wanted me here,for me here their was so much.
I don't want to drown anymore in the pain of my doubt,
Just tell me please what my life is about.
I want to be loved,
with hands of purity that are gloved.
I pray O' Father heal my heart,
from the hands that abused me,yes heal me for their part.
I need You now,I have to have Your healing Hand
to heal me of that word "victim," heal me of that burned brand.
Redeem me Lord of my life and it's scar,
reminding me You are so close,and never,ever,very far.

I am so lacking in the truth,
to find out why you did what you did?
I need answers, not the vacant winds
that inhabit my soul.
Why did you do what you did,
how did I cause this aching pain I feel?
I took care of you,I adored you,
I met your needs,yet this knife in my back cannot
become unhinged.
In days past you looked at me with pools of adornment,
now just discontent.
Can you,will you ever change your mind,
and the song becomes ours,the blessed duet.
I long for you and your warm touch,
is their not one note of our song stuck in your mind?
Now I am alone,breathing just for one.
I miss the sound of your heartbeat next to mine,
Lord, help me to learn, how to say goodbye.

Desiring a child,
softness of skin
revealing the tenderness
of their hand in mine.
Stroking the beauty of innocence
that of yet is not tainted by
the sins of this present world.
Overtaken by the righteous indignation
of protection,
possessing the fierceness of the lioness of her cub,
not allowing any evil into there world.
Mother, breathing strength to encompass
the purity and virtue of her beautiful baby.
Rocking in the darkness of night,but it is
distinguished by the light of those eyes,
looking up at you while giving them warmth and
sustenance.
Please Lord,bless my womb so I may bear a child.
I want to be overwhelmed with love for them.
Compelled to mother their needs,
while being permeated by their love for me.
Please Lord bear me with a strong will,
while I wait for my Precious child.