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Mar 2018 · 404
Stuck
When i said
“Stay with me”
Or “don’t leave”
I didn’t necessarily mean physically
Now
Im Stuck between trying to remember
And trying to forget
You taught me not to live with regret
And sometimes i wish we never met
Dont mind my words
But thats just my mind speaking
You know my heart is true
And my hands do the talking
“Are you in a hurry?”
Cuz i can take my time
I guess a quick shot at love
Is better than wasted time with lust
Understand where im coming from
Now youre far away
My eyes dont see you anymore
Only when i close them
When i think of you
When I dream of you
And i don’t deserve it
I wish i could reverse it
You said “man, we live in such a weird world”
But i didnt care
Because we were never normal
“The universe is cruel”
I said
“But we learn to enjoy the torture”
Mar 2018 · 597
Cold night / Hold tight
What if God or who ever
Gave the chance for us to meet
Did what they did because
What if we both needed someone
Something better than before
Perhaps we separated to figure ourselves out
Or perhaps the other way around
We are not around anymore
Im not running around anymore
I have found the one
The one for me
I will put you before me
And ill always look after you
Because missing you hurts
But i think loving you hurt more
I bet you can relate
As of late I wish I could take it all back
Paint it all black
Leave it all behind
But in the back of my mind
My dreams remind me that at the end of my day
When I close my eyes and
It all goes black
Im yours and you are mine
They say Time heals everything
And that time is money
So If wealth can bring happiness
Then my love
You are my *** of gold
Rainbows compliment your soul
More than the sky
Im on cloud 9
When i think of the times
You sat on top of me
Let me hold you close
Before you let go of the door you are so readily waiting to close
It's cold outside
You said
Its okay
I said
I already feel numb
Mar 2018 · 291
ps: bs
Some say love is *******
But its the only ******* i like to deal with
I never got to play in the snow with you
I guess I deserve it all
I made it hell for you
And put you through it all
Im sorry for the times i came home high
Im sorry for the times i didnt say bye
Before I met you i was so low
And you brought me up with
a simple hi
A simple hello
Now im on the other side
Where time seems more real than ever
Im losing interest in all my endeavors
Im choosing money or me
It breaks me apart
Even though im heartless
I still got a big heart
This heart that beats for you
It skips a beat when ever i long for you
It hasnt been a week
And it feels like ive waited long for you
It has me feeling weak
I know i should be strong
I love you so much
Ill express it in a song
Ill express it in a poem
Ill express it in a book
Ill rip a page out
Like its my heart
And place it on your palm
Your touch
Its not much
But its enough
Hold me
Love me
I am not the old me
Jan 2018 · 507
someone
I felt like a kid
Clothed by your embrace
You are a Goddess
And I fell from your grace
Mind and body strong
You amaze
I got lost in your heart
It’s a maze
That I cant get out of
Your face is a sight
That I cant get enough of
I can’t take my eyes off of you
Love is all I got to offer you
I never meant to offend you
Sorry if I failed to defend you
I just wanted to obey you

I wanted someone lovely
To love me
To hate me
To hold me
To scold me
To leave me
To keep me
To push me
To hug me
To shush me
To bug me

I wanted someone to share closely
  To bathe me
To clothe me
To fight me
To **** me
To hear me
To bore me
To lick me
To bite me

I wanted someone to believe in
To sleep with
To wake with
To laugh with
To cry with
To live with
To die with

That someone is gone
Feb 2017 · 518
Time is fly
They say time flies
I guess that's why people buy Rolex
It's a fashion statement, looking fly
Why lie
I stare at the clock
Thought after thought
It's tic-toc
Letting time pass
I don't know why
It's past midnight
I need a fresh start
Swallow a pill
Like a Tic Tac
Dive in a pool
Thats not shallow
Die in a pool
Cuz it's a deep end
I guess it depends
To live and die
Well isn't that what
Days and nights are?
You sleep and you wake
Like a funeral
Brain dead now its neural
Dec 2016 · 1.0k
wasteland
It was the year 2121. There was only four of us who actually remained together. It was me, Hotbox, which is a name I picked up due to my father. He was a boxer who then became a firefighter in his later years. I was half human and half metal. I worked at a place where we customized engines for flying cars before it went out of business. Crisis on oil similar to that of the past decades was still prevalent in future times. One of the engine parts we received from the Colony in Outer Space had a defect and it exploded upon arrival. It left me feeling like I was Johhny from Johnny Got His Gun. I nearly lost my hearing, sight, speech, a chunk of my heart and many of my bones and limbs disintegrated. During the time I was hospitalized, many special doctors took care of me. Many of them supers themselves spoke to me telepathically. I was given a new body armor made of Tantalum, a metal that often replaces platinum and is very efficient for implants and coatings in the medical field. But enough about me. There’s FrostFyre, a girl I met at a superhero convention. I had a super crush on her. She was born in an artificial planet called Brone that no longer exists due to an unexpected shutdown. She was able to absorb the energy from the explosion which allowed her to be stronger than the citizens of her planet. The disaster caused her family to relocate to one of the Colonies in planet Earth. Fyre could change the temperature of the flames that she fired and could potentially freeze-burn her opponents. Her fire was hotter than the center of the sun. We had two best friends who also happen to be fraternal twins, they're names are Sloe and Slic. Sloe had the ability to fly, teleport, and slow time down which consisted of making everything appear to be paralyzed. Slic on the other hand had super speed and would one day travel faster than light. After the Third World War in 2095, several hydrogen bombs were dropped all over the world, almost everything had vanished. There were no more skyscrapers, no more Mount Everest, no more Niagara falls, no more pyramids in what’s left of Egypt, and no more overly saturated Earth full of humans. The human population was at about 11.2 billion at the end of the century according to the United Nations. After the nuclear warfare episodes, the known population dropped to 3 billion. It became the duty of the Heroes of the Colony to take hold of the Earth. With the rise of enemies of the colony, the world was now in the hands of evil.

“It’s time to light up and take flight!”, shouted Fyre. It was easy for her to say. She was born with the ability to produce fire by herself. After my accident I was struggling with feeling like I wasn’t even human anymore.

“How hot is Lava?” Slic said.

We were standing at the rim of the largest human-made volcano to ever exist. Lava was a villain that was threatening to erupt the volcano in where she dwelled in. Sloe was using her powers to slow the process down, but Lava used her powers to speed up the eruption.

“Lava can reach temperatures of 1,600 degrees Fahrenheit to up to 2,000.” Sloe replied.

“No smartypants, I mean is she good looking?” Slic replied.

“We have to go in the lava and attack her from where she is standing,” Fyre said in a very calm voice. She and I knew that my armor material had a melting point up almost 2,500 degrees so we couldn't risk it. The lava's temperature was increasing at an alarming rate as the seconds passed. If any of the lava seeped through the pores of my armor, my body could instantly be vaporized.

“What if you go in instead?” I said.

If Fyre went in to swim in the lava she would be more safe than me. Her body was made from a material found in the distant home-planet she comes from. Lava's body in the other hand was still human-like. She was not susceptible to the lava she produced or lived in but perhaps a nuclear explosion could vaporize her for good. The vaporization would occur so quickly that Lava would simply cease to exist. The nervous system that sends pain signals to the brain would be gone quicker than the speed in which signals reach the brain.

This was a moment of chaos. There was enough happening in what was left of the world. The people that lived under the fear and control of Lava would die due to being exposed to the lava even if several feet away. The magma of the volcano was very vicious at this point and sloe could not do much about it. Fyre was getting ready to detonate as she stood at the center of the rim. She does this by going into a fetal position as she floats in midair.

There was a sudden flash in the sky. A voice said, “Prepare for flight!”

It was the Navigator. He was here to teleport us to May 31st, 2095. It was a Tuesday afternoon and we were at a diner in a floating city. There was a lot of commotion around us and it felt as if  the Flight of the Bumblebee was playing in the background.

“Sorry, wrong date.”

We quickly teleported to the day before, a Monday and I hated Mondays but we were still at the diner and I was having a chocolate milkshake so it wasn't so bad. There were so many people looking at the sky as they cried, helpless and hopeless. The bombs were being dropped. The navigator asked Sloe to slow everything down. In the moment of panic there was peace. We enjoyed milkshakes and talked about how to save the world as we were the only ones talking in real time. Slic ran back home to get his video camera and he started recording as the first bomb reached grounds. A few seconds later everything was white.
Dec 2016 · 730
Wasteland (alternate)
One day everything was white for a few seconds again, but not because of some bombs or some sort of global phenomenon. This time it was because I woke up and got up from my bed so fast that I started to feel a little dizzy.
“This is odd,” I said.
My brain had some parts that were 3D printed. The inks used to print these implants consisted of real brain fiber and tissue as well as other synthetic brain materials. I guess the cells started to grow along with my old brain and at the time I did not realize whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. I almost forgot what it felt like to be dizzy.
Once I started seeing normal colors again I took a few steps and accidentally stepped on my phone. I probably dropped it when I got home the night before. I looked down and saw that my screen cracked and I picked it up and tried to turn it on but it was dead.
I stumbled out of my room and opened the door as I made my way to the bathroom so I could wash the blood off from my face. I opened the faucet and left the water running. As I watched the reflection of the water in the mirror, it suddenly stopped. I glimpsed down and checked to see if the water was still on and it was. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. My reflection started doing something else in the distance. I didn’t freak out because my body suit was in invisibility mode.
It felt as if someone was looking at me even in my room.
I thought, “There is a mirror in my room too.”
I keep a long vertical mirror in my room that I write on with a dry-erase marker that I use as a to-do list. I had heard about a villain who called himself The Mirror and he was on a list of villains that need to get researched. I did the research. He existed in a world where everything was opposite just how a mirror projects a view that mimics reality. Many people of the Mirror World could try to make eye contact and hypnotize people of the real world and ask them to do anything. When they do this it appears as if their own image talks to them as their own conscious. Often times people of the mirror world stayed away from them. Mirror people can only be seen through mirror reflections, but also can only escape through mirrors if they break in reality. Mirrors in that world function the same way but they do not break.
I was going to meet an older but younger version of me. This guy did not fully undergo the process that enabled him to become immortal and gave him full control of his superpowers. During this time, he was still getting dreams of the future. He was dreaming about his encounter with Hotbox. There was law that stated that all entities within the timelines had to register as individuals to the authorities. This meant that they required a different name. This old, other me named himself Phyro. He blasted rings of fire to his opponents and trapped them in a scorching fire and could also shoot fireballs the size of gumballs that were about 500 times the temperature of the Sun. The fire expanded through the body so quickly and turned his opponents to ashes in a matter of seconds.
In order to go meet with Phyro, I had to get a hold of The Navigator but that was nearly impossible. He was put to sleep and kept in high security prison. It was the same year of the War in 2095, the day the bombs were dropped but in that timeline, people were prepared for the tragic happenings. The Navigator was being used to help the Enemies of the Colony. They used him for his memories and endless banks of stored information. He had unlimited amounts of memory space as one of his tasks was to keep track of everything and everyone.
I planned on meeting with his inventor and creator, the one who invented the time machine. That’s basically what The Navigator was. A time machine. The Navigator had the ability to think and feel just like humans.
On my way out to meet with the The Inventor, I opened my front door and there I was. But in reality that wasn’t me. It was an old friend I made during war named Pseudo. He has the ability to shape shift to anyone they have met. Pseudo was pretending to be me. And that’s how I knew it wasn’t me because no one had travelled trough time in almost 500 years. That’s how long the Navigator has been shutdown.
Suddenly there was an earthquake. Shudder was the one probably causing this. Most cities in this time were floating and therefore, earthquakes were not real. Shudder had the ability to shake things around at an incredible force within a certain radius.
That sudden quake caused all the mirrors in my house to fall and break. Thousands of Mirror people escaped from the broken mirrors. And there I was all alone surrounded by Pseudo, Shudder, and The Mirror along with an army of Mirror people.
Mar 2016 · 784
You are Welcome
the nights i sacrifice to stay up and make art
i think
is sleeping really better than being awake?
being aware
sleep is like death
i get it
i almost feel deaf
there so much stillness and quietness
not quite silence
but i can feel the world spinning
i can feel my head spinning
like a merry go round im spinning
being awake
i can focus on myself
reflect on what has been done
and
what needs to be done
i have a lot of time
and
less than 5 dollars on my bank account
label me broke
but
i spent years trying to fix myself
it's not fair
unfair is the society that expects so much from babies
i'm still a baby
like a baby
i eat, sleep and ****
being awake
i become conscious
my bones feel tired
my flesh is slowly dying
my mind feels tired
my brains are slowly dying
my soul?
IT is
my soul IS
my soul WAS
and
my soul will BE
we are like water
we freeze
we melt And we flow
but most importantly we ascend
we evaporate
my soul is never tired
when I'm asleep I want to escape
have an out of body experience perhaps
this body is beautiful but weak
almost perfect
i speak for those who have not yet awaken
come see the light
it might blind but they say love is blind
unwind, rewind
i spend nights like this to work on myself
i have yet to find myself
i have yet to love myself
i tried my best
i tied my bets
i've lost secrets
i've broken promises
we all praise our successes
but
how many of us keep track of our mistakes?
i failed so many times
and
got up again
everyday the sun rises
and no one told him to get up
the sun has no alarm clocks
i'm trying to find the building blocks
and
hope they are made from familiar material
so i can break them down
before break of dawn
but
before i break down
before my tear lands the ground
i wipe them down
you can watch my eyes sparkle instead
like white snow, they sparkle
like each snowflake
so unique
i plan to paint a picture so vivid
before i go to sleep
before i close my eyes and rest my hands
hear me out,
if you're reading this
i love you with all my that I am
we met for a reason
if you were my friend at some point thank you
if you are my friend now still thank you
and if you need a friend
come to me
you are welcome
4 am thoughts
Jan 2016 · 439
wishful thinking
i hope you remember me when that someone stares into your eyes
and
when you sit down and there's and empty seat next to you
i hope that you wish i was next to you
but it will be too late

every morning when you make coffee or tea
i hope that as you bring your cup close to your face
you are reminded of the warmth of my embrace
your heart will never beat at the same pace
when you are reminded of me

i hope i still cross your mind like a shooting star
i get lost in the black skies covering your black eyes
your love left me a black eye and i was blinded by the white lies
you said lets take our time and you knew that time flies
you were the closest i've ever been to someone and now you are so far

i was a happy dog
every i love you translated into a bark
you were nothing but shine to me but now you're so dark
i hope you think of me when you're holding hands with him at the park
i dream of you but i choose not to look for you through the fog
old poem
Jan 2016 · 329
optional
the moment i feel out of place
i hope that in the next life i become a tree
where i keep my ground and no longer roam free
Jan 2016 · 260
Untitled
i float in space
i soak in lakes
i soar the states
lets face it, im the greatest
always on time, and im still the latest
oh
my emotions drive me crazy
i touch my face
i feel so alive
but
my senses make me feel dead
i don't want to feel anymore
i wanna be numb
like standing naked in the coldest day of Winter
and still
Summer's high and at an all time low
i was

it seems that everyday you are closer to your end
never boastful
yet
you agree that your end is the end of someone else's world

a friend that sailed away
out of your grip
like a ship
you watch it take off until it finally disappears

out of sight
out of light
the blind does not await to close the blinds
and
as this world gets darker
i don't want to see anymore
this world is full of evil
the worst of all is the bigger ego
full of hatred
blood is shed
as if they love to see the color red

what is life?
what is that i hear?

songs of birds singing to
He who commands the Sun to rise
they know the end is here

have we forgotten to give thanks every time we wake up?
have we been sleeping the whole time?
and those who don't wake up,
will be sleeping the whole time?

the closest thing we have to death is sleep
we get a taste of blissful peace
a piece of love
our heart can taste

our mind awake
our life at stake

what is that i smell?
Sunrays
flowers that bloom in June
and
all summer long
and point to the Sun
now
the Sun points at me
and i can smell my skin burn from the sunrays
all summer long

oh
what sad song we begin to make

our ears can hear
different tongues that we don't speak
like different songs from a bird's peak
our tongue can speak
our tongue can taste
a bird knows there's no time to waste
a worm dies hanging from a bird's peak
Apr 2015 · 954
why i hate the rain
my reflection in the puddles
remind me that i'm no longer accompanied by you
i'm running out of time
the time i wish i'd spend with you
Jan 2015 · 574
sense
would i be able to find you if i was blindfolded?
i could trace the smell
and hear you from miles away whenever you yell
i could taste your blood cells
like whenever i bit your lip
and ripped the skin of your outer shell

-we are alive-

i hope the butterflies in my stomach let me sleep
as the thought of you flutters by
your face so bright
i take mental pictures as i close my eyes
hoping you're not camera shy
i close the blinds
i don't want to let any other light inside
i know the moon is already missing the sun
as the sun hides

like a plant
reaching for the sun
your love is my photosynthesis

like the shutter that opens and closes to expose the film in a camera
i opened up my chest so you could shine some light inside this darkness
even if your love was endless
by infinities I would multiply
i get high of the scent that lingers when you pass by
my feet are always off the ground
you taught me how to fly
this feeling inside
the pain on my side
like Eve straight out of Adam
you belong to me
This poem was made up of different poems and song lyrics I wrote. I guess it needs a little work but I like the ways it oddly flows.
Dec 2014 · 3.0k
little sister
when my little sister was born
i was no longer the youngest
and i was happy to have her around

when my little sister was a baby
she was very smart
learned how to walk sooner than most of us

when my little sister was growing more and more each day
she took risks like
biting into a lemon
or
waking up our sleeping cat

when my little sister started school
she was excited

when my little sister learned to ride a bike
she fell many times
but one day
she kept going and going

when my little sister said something smart
i'd ask her
who told you that?
and she'd reply
anybody
she really meant to say
"nobody"

when my little sister thinks something is unfair
she gets upset

when my little sister thinks someone is unfair
she gets teary eyed
and
hurts inside

when my little sister sees a scary movie trailer on tv
she runs to the other room

so innocent

when my little sister asks me if I have a girlfriend
and I reply no
she replies
you don't need one - you need to take care of me

when my little sister wakes up and finds out she was sleeping all alone
she runs out of the room and cuddles next to me or Erik - our brother
or she says
i don't want to sleep anymore

when my little sister sings along to one of my songs
it brings me joy

when my little sister grows up
i want the best for her

when my little sister grows up
i want her to be an example
and
as long as i'm alive
i need to be that example
My little sister has taught me a lot. She looks up to all her siblings and we need to be an example first. She's only 5 years old.
Dec 2014 · 901
wait
waiting
is letting time pass by

waiting is time travel
at the speed of life

waiting can be dreadful
if you are impatient

waiting is beautiful
when you are waiting for something
beautiful
Nov 2014 · 382
visual one word poem
d   i    s       c                  
                                                o               ­                     
        m
      b  
          o
         b  
             u
            l  
                 a
                t  
                  e
My favorite word since 2007 is "discombobulate".
Nov 2014 · 666
nadir
nadir*
always at my lowest
nadar
which means to swim in English
my biggest fear is drowning in water
my body descending to the ocean floor
i had nightmares where i would wake up in a massive body of water
like
the planet neptune
this circular shaped water tank with no escape
a wreath
i swam to the top and never found air to breathe
when i woke up i inhaled
like there was no tomorrow
in hell
i suffered from the same nightmare
except
dreaming of water is like heaven
scorching flames devastated
the inhabitants of the inferno
my heart still cold
i survived
invierno
which means winter in English
the only thing i liked about the winter was the lowest temperature
made me feel numb
numb like my body when i recall the dream where i drown
i no longer look down if i am flying above water
im a bird
the third time i reincarnate
and all i remember
is the word fate
carved into my anklet
i see you in my future
i see cupid shooting laser beams
i know the feeling isnt mutual
but
ill see you later in my dreams
in my dreams

i see you when i daydream
when i'm sitting at my desk at school
you taste me on your cigarette that you smoke
'cause you think you're cool
you think you're cool

the only time
i had the world
in my hands
was when i held yours
If you want to listen to it, follow the link below:
https://soundcloud.com/rebelisdead/untitled
Nov 2014 · 1.7k
button
you let go of me
like threads
on an old button

no longer intertwined

you were once my support
you held me together
you held me tight and close

slipped from my grip

you said everything
happens for a reason
i saw it as treason

you never gave me a reason

you betrayed your
own heart
love

how can someone so beautiful
be so hideous
on the inside

that

I will never know
The last day I had an encounter with someone I truly loved, I held on to their hands tightly and slightly pulled on the sleeve of their coat. A button on the sleeve came off easily since only one hole was supported by the thread of the coat lining. I kept the button. I had struggled to be a part of this person's life for almost four years. Each hole on the button represented a year. The last year was the year I finally had to learn to let go.
Nov 2014 · 692
lousy jealousy
Jealousy was the
ugliest thing ever
created

even God is
a jealous
one
Tweets can be poems too.
Nov 2014 · 534
sentence poem
next time our eyes meet
i will tell your subconscious
  to keep me in your dreams

Nov 2014 · 49.9k
clouds
clouds are weird
usually we can feel certain things
but
not see them

with clouds
it is different
we can see them
but
not feel them
From my 10 day trip to Texas and Mexico back in May 2014.
Nov 2014 · 1.4k
introductory lines
i
am
human
just like you
grew up confused
fused into a small hole
quite the ***** up
but focused

we are all like lines

i build escape plans through words
every time I find myself stuck
i find escape within me
i find escape in books
i took from my imagination
and drew inspiration

we are all like lines

lines guided my curvy path
life was a little like math class
nothing but memorization
strangers act like they don't remember that we were once friends
last year, last month, last night
or
in the past life

we are all like lines

some of us
meet with someone else
and we intersect once
we make contact
and touch
but funny enough
we never really touch
on an atomic level
our atoms repel

we are like lines
perpendicular
and
never cross paths again

but some of us
meet with someone else
never make contact
or
touch

we are like lines
parallel
we go on forever
but
never intersect

we are all like lines

i saw lines in the way i manipulated
the pen
the pencil
the brush
the spray can
i spray my pseudonym on your wall
well
because I can

the paint
dripping from the walls like
blood streaming down my eyes
the pain

a distraction that
kept me alive
kept me awake at night
kept me away from the safety of my home
but also
kept me away from the dangers of my home
a contradiction

i was living in the streets
the days i never came home
i was living in the streets
the days i never came home

i saw lines in capturing moments
the symmetry in architecture
in nature
i saw myself as a temple
a monument

we are all like lines

i saw lines in guitars
and
how i can change the sound each string makes in endless ways
but in reality
the guitar changed me

it changed the way i tune myself

i finally felt in tune with the world

the fire was inside me
when i took the first breath of air
the water was inside of me
science and religion  
i was never thirsty

the earth is really old is all i know

growing up i never learned

never learned how to say no

always afraid of getting old

i forgot the lines i forever rehearsed

the day my mom found out i smoke ****
my eyes were low
and
so was
i

— The End —