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 May 2018 Neex
Phoenix Rising
So...my depression and anxiety got so bad I was having really bad suicidal thoughts. I started hurting everyone I loved around me...I have finally seeked professional help...and that took a lot of strength to do because my childhood consisted of taking medications that never fitted my illness and made things worse. It's only been 3 days on Zoloft...but I think I actually feel a difference. I am also taking vitamin B12. I'm going to set myself up with counseling soon as well. I will update my progress within a week or 2. Love you all. ~~
Will write more soon.
 May 2018 Neex
Phoenix Rising
jordan
 May 2018 Neex
Phoenix Rising
how i lived before
not knowing you
baffles me.
because you are the world
i never knew
i dreamed of.
you are the love
i never thought i'd feel.
you are the most
beautiful person
i never thought i'd meet.
i am the luckiest girl alive.
 Mar 2018 Neex
Lost
The barricade surrounding my core is cracking, my thoughts swim circles around the whirlpool of emotions that cascade down from my heart. The ever-changing waterfall of colour and darkness flows from the between the cracks.

The flickering ember that painfully fuels me, sparks a light as I smile at my screen again.

My porcelain mask tears and opens a minuscule door that you’ve put your foot right through. The screams of a thousand dying suns are made quiet by your presence, even for a short time. The relief from the agonising cacophony is frightening and sudden, but welcomed.

The empty, forgotten halls of my heart feel full of peace instead of abandonment. Their lonely corridors instead feel humbled and content in their fate.

Such feelings get thrown in with the gratuitous violence of the maelstrom that thrashes inside these walls.

Amidst the solitude and the painful sobriety to the outcome of this existence, there is hope. Like a glittering jewel at the bottom of a merciless ocean, you shine. Bright and proud, tempting me to take a leap of faith through the teary waters I’ve endlessly cried.

The doubt infects me like a virus and the selfishness lurks behind me like a menacing shadow, but I’m blinded by the shimmering gem of light you entrance me with. Mesmerised, I dive headfirst into the depths, praying it isn’t merely an oasis of the mind.

My shining star, my hopeful dream, my new day.
I’m still experimenting with this style...
 Mar 2018 Neex
Lost
My Confession
 Mar 2018 Neex
Lost
Have you ever had a dream that was so good, you never wanted to wake from it? A moment in time that was so close to perfection that you never wanted it to end? How about a love that seemed so true that you thought you could never be so lucky?

That, is my life with you.

The minutes turn into hours, which turn into days of a wonderous confusion that sweeps me off my feet and takes my breath away.

Like the air itself gets thinner when you're by my side, I can barely inhale without feeling dizzy. A lovestruck fool, cursed by the blindness from your scintillating light.

The ground gives way beneath me and I am taken by the oceans of hot magma beneath its crust. Washed away into a dreamland of an unfamiliar feeling.

Is this what they call true love? Perhaps it is the sharp tongue of Cupid's arrow that has pierced my chest, or perhaps it is yours. For to give anyone else the gratification of stealing my heart, would be scandalous.

The deed is yours, and yours alone.

I willingly tear open my soul and bare all to you; the good, the bad, the ugly. My flaws are thick and deep, my depression viscous like a demented fluid in my veins. But my heart is pure and my mind is calm with thoughts of you.

If you accept me, as I am, I am yours.

Forever more.
Late night love confessions from a poor and dreaded soul.
 Mar 2018 Neex
Lost
Drowning in a sea of my own creation, a black void of crashing waves that erode my bedrock, slowly but surely.

The knight watches from the cliff top, his sword dangling helplessly by his side, knowing the fruitless endeavour of attempting battle with the creature, was just that. He falls to his knees, begging the merciless gods to release his world from its onslaught of tendril esk darkness.

But the cries fall on deaf ears as the monster deity unleashes yet another wave of black and the sky falls into the sea with an impossible crack.

The storm rages on as its host shambles around its own reality, the now black skies reflect in its eyes, but the light of the stars has since been extinguished. The firery core has been contained within the maelstrom of black. And the throbbing sentience is being infected and enslaved by the demon god once and for all.

The knight is a fugitive in the world that was crafted for him. His armour is battered and flawed from the constant losing fight he was destined to wage, forever. The arm that once held the mighty sword of light feels like the weight of a thousand men were standing on it. And the sword is glowing ever fainter.

But still, the war goes on, the casualties rise and the demon god is winning. This is no fairy tale, our hero is not recovering and the monster has no weakness.

This is real life.
My... life.
So I’m trying this thing where I write poetry, without poem formatting...
 Mar 2018 Neex
AJ
Black Queen
 Mar 2018 Neex
AJ
The beautiful Black Queen
Graceful, misunderstood, too often
unseen
She lacks vanity although she is
pure perfection
She floats across the room
Regal in her being
The most beautiful mark upon this Earth
The beautiful Black Queen displays
strength.
perseverance.
class.
When you lay your eyes upon her you will
know that you are in the presence of royalty
Of greatness
The beautiful Black Queen is art
Flawless and everlasting
She...she is forever
 Nov 2017 Neex
Aisha Ella
His "I love you" came swiftly.
Like the monsoon pouring down on a leaky roof
Those three words broke through my defences.
At first they were an ambrosia;
They sustained my life and our relationship.
At least for a short time.

Then "I love you" became an excuse;
For absences, and purpose-filled accidents.
And I ignored the warning signs, the flashing lights.
I pretended like "I love you" was enough...

...But it wasn't.
His "I love you"s were like band-aids on bullet wounds;
Like using play dough to fix cracks in concrete walls.
But I rationed our good memories,
I held on as tight as I could to our love
And watched as it slipped through my fingers.

His "I love you"s became poison,
That seeped deep into my bones,
And turned blue skies grey,
And turned light into darkness,
And slowly killed whatever semblance of love
I fooled myself into thinking we had left.
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