If you give up on waiting,
the pain of loss will **** you;
If you let go too easily,
you'll drown in queries.

The way you perceive me,
is different from how I perceive you.
You were always my best friend forever
But to you I was just a fill-in to use.

The hardest part about accepting this
Was due to all of your contradictions.
You can't tell me you faked who you were
Then say you still want to live together

You can't say you see me like a sister
But have never been your true self with me.
I lived feeling your feelings for years,
Comforting and entrusting someone  who saw me as a shattered mirror.

It doesn't bring up anger for me anymore,
But sadness and grief is always outside my door.
The most painful thing I have ever felt in my life, Is learning that perception can cause so much strife.

It's easy to romanticize the mundane
When you're young nothing is the same
Now I cringe thinking about my life
Only age 12 and writing poems about suicide

It's not like life wasn't really hard back then,
It was but I didn't know how much harder
It would become when I was older

Loneliness is something that I can endure
I don't want you to be my revolving door;
someone I run to for comfort or relief  
When I think of you now I feel worry and ease.

Many different thoughts take a walk across my mind,
You're precious to me and it's hard to hide.
I miss you so much, the term feels overused
When I see friends on the street, I'm reminded of you

We never got to do the things we planned,
So many trips were left in neverland.
It was painful to feel my heart soar with excitement
To be broken constantly through cancelations

I'm trying to understand now,
and leave all these things behind.
It seems my head is stuck in the past,
Pain catches up with me through time

So many unresolved feelings lie within me
Things I wanted to say, hugs I wanted to give
but ignored because of my worries,
how do I let go of these longings?

Revolving doors are for buildings
But I still want to resolve my feelings.

In the quiet depths of my jelly-filled heart,
A fluttering dance, a mysterious start
Your presence, a moonlit serenade
In the ocean of feelings, we softly wade.

Moonlight reflections in your eyes so deep,
A love story, in the quiet of the big blue sea
You, my ocean of warmth, my gentle tide,
In this jellyfish heart, forever, you'll reside