At the beginning of the date he wanted sushi,
I wanted a large pizza with extra cheese that sounded like, "No thanks, not hungry."
It was cold outside and it was raining
So naturally we opened up the window as far as it would go -
He quickly lit the panda candle near the window
as if the spark came straight from his fingers
And all I could think was, "****. Even with the wind the candle is still lit. This is my guy."
It was romantic and slow and I was a **** fool,
****** in
Feeling like I'm falling after four days.
A little conversation and some food later, I could suddenly make out the width and length of his eyelashes -
"Oh ****. He's leaning in."
His hand surfed the curves and waves of my hip,
My entire body felt like a magnet towards his and
Having felt it all
I chalked it up to friendship
While thinking and dreaming of my "friend" wondering how
How could I have been such a fool?
I broke his heart and mine too.

That **** smile
Had my heart swirling and bouncing
For a while

And that walk? Oh man
If only I could match the tempo
I'm not sure if I can.

There must be something in the air.

What am I saying?
My breathing is as shallow as it's always been -
Not that you care.

I know what this is now
I've felt it for a while,
Somehow.

I've been worshipping you in motions
Exaggerated yearning
Dipping my fingers and testing the water
Oh, what a flavor
I can taste it.

It tastes sweet, I guess?
No, it's more of a nutty flavor.
Apparently I'm allergic.

The melanin which coats my skin so effortlessly
Propagates poetry, completely faultless
I am empowered and feared
Like an electric fence surrounding the perimeter
Of a jail house or asylum
Both on either side recognize me
As something without entry or exit

"You're cute for a black girl"
Is what they say to me -
Though my knees fastened in position
Standing tall
I am supposed to bend and bow,
To accept this "compliment" and condemn
Others before and after me
To accept is to limit the scope of beauty
Because I am
The exception;
Why?
I'm "cute for a black girl." 

To all of the people
With an outlook on life
That only encompasses the width and length of a rabbit hole
I salute your stupidity and arrogance
Your firm belief in marching behind those
Truly one of a kind, 100% seen faux compliments
That I am not supposed to be offended by -

When we all know every offensive statement begin with "no offense,"

How about
You're cute for an *******
And
You're absolutely **** for an imbecile -
Who needs abs when you've got this?

When I say I like to talk about personal things, I don't mean ***.
I don't want to talk about what you'd do to me.
Or what you think it would feel like to have my hands all over you.
No.
I want to talk about the stars, space, if it scares you that we're merely a speck of nothingness in a sea of emptiness.
I want to know what scares you, and why.
The things you hate, or what you want to do with your life.
I want to hear about the places you love, and the ones you have loved without ever seeing.
I want to hear those things, not what you want to do to me in bed.

Why can't I be in control?
At night I rake my eyes across the sky and see the moon shiver
Then, I always know.

But why when the sun takes morning shift do I forget?
The war drum sirens signal fire -
My body hasn't caught up with it yet.

I'm not "happy to have forgotten you."
My inner peace arose from beneath heavy rain fall
My mind is stagnant and taunt
It carries hazy reminders of voices raised, killing each other

Yes, I remember you.
I just prefer to keep it void of color and let all else burn vividly.