I really needed you
I thought you wanted me too
But you just ripped yourself away
Should've known you wouldn't stay

We were supposed to be perfect
But you went treated me like an object
Why is everything I do not right
Why do you always steal my light.

I saved up this love to save me
And I was happy but you couldn't let it be...

As a child-
I used to dream in colour;
Till the world
turned into grey;
Hungry, but lost in power

I've gone astray.

I took a rowboat out into God's anger
at midnight in His angry swollen sea.
I never cared about frailty or danger
I just had to row toward my fantasy.
Swept up in some kind of allegory
bordering upon my lonely purgatory
I might live. I might finally die
in my awful rowing another try.

It's been a while
since I've written,
maybe I was trying to forget
the pain that I felt
when I put words on the paper,
or maybe it was just regret
of the life gone by
people left detached,
maybe this does not make any sense at all
this uncertainty
is not good for my sanity,
all I need in this world of maybes
is just some security.