black spores on the mildewed walls
peeling over the wood
rot that even the vultures shun
it grows in cracks and in dark places.

the disease sticks its spiny fingers
down your throat, so you can’t
scream…
silence, silence, it wants
silence.
it wants
absence,
no self left to 𝘣𝘦.

outside, it has been night for years
babes born bawling, not knowing
what stars, moon, sky, sun used to
look like, nothing but the concrete
sea.

and yet, though Purity
has her headstone with the
rest, though there are no longer
prayers
to be blessed
there is good,
there is GOD in this
God-forsaken world,
there is GOOD
there is GOD—
you.

nothing but a scrap
of paper from a make-up catalog
saying,
“Real Flawless™”

but here i am,
unable to stop
thinking
about what it markets to me
what it asks of me
what it stipulates to be
true.

“Real Flawless”

modern day doublethink:
“my body is mine but
Yours
to look at and
Yours
to judge and so i shape it
to the eye that is
Yours—
i am proud though i make myself
small”

“Real Flawless”

mandatory affirmations, prayers more like,
repeat repeat repeat
how much i love myself even
as i consume comparisons
and then calculate the calories.

“Real Flawless”

the only reason
beauty is pain is
because it tears
us in two.

Notice the Spring  
Notice the Return
Return of flight
Return of light
Light the Earth
Light my life
Life with her
Life in color
Color of birth
Color me rose
Rose to prune
Rose up above
Above the seas
Above the blooms
Blooms of angels  
Blooms that endure
Endure the frost
Endure what’s lost
Lost in her
Lost in March
March of longing
March to me
Me in white
Me in forgiveness
Forgiveness is here
Forgiveness on lips
Lips on cheeks
Lips down beneath
Beneath your bones
Beneath, I’ll be
Be yours forever
Be mine for always
Always my darlin’
Always like honey
Honey so sweet
Honey I’m home
Home like hive
Home of seasons
Seasons of change
Seasons of growth
Growth like moss
Growth of soul
Soul on tap
Soul in soil
Soil of her
Soil of Spring
Spring has arrived
Spring of love
Love
Spring

Knit you a sweater
Knit us together
Together by dawn
Together by dusk
Dusk and cicadas
Dusk is a blanket
Blanket in blue
Blanket in music
Music hums soft
Music for nights
Nights like this
Nights in spring
Spring with rain
Spring with flowers
Flowers by porch
Porch well-loved
Porch with wood
Wood swing and chairs
Wood swing sways
Sways like dancers
Sways like strands
Strands of hair
Strands that curl
Curl your fingers
Curl ‘round mine
Mine for now
Mine to keep
Keep you close
Keep me safe
Safe to touch
Safe in here
Here we lay
Here we breathe
Breathe in sync
Breathe out words
Words like poems
Words like rivers
Rivers running
Rivers rushing
Rushing forward
Rushing out
Out my lips
Out to yours
Yours for years
Yours always
Always you
Always me
Me…
You.

i press the button, nothing, shake
it, nothing still, press and hold, nothing,
nothing but black screen, try again,
plug it in—where’s my plug?
no plug, no plug, it’s gone and
all that’s left is the darkness…how will
they know? how will they know i’m alive
and i care? how will they survive if I
cannot reply 24/7, 400 days a year? how will
they know i exist and i matter if i cannot remind
them, remind in a buzz and a banner,
remind them that i am still here? just a
few hours but in those few hours i will cease
to exist because i do not exist unless you
see me.

it’s the sound of a city if everyone died,
as empty as pity in pitiless eyes.

This is the law that supersedes all
Other laws:
Thou shalt not complain.

Thou shalt have a successful career
𝘢𝘯𝘥
Shalt be a perfect mother.

Thou shalt be innocent and experienced,
Rebellious—
But not too much.

Thou shalt never need help.

Thou shalt never age
Yet maintain a veneer
Of self-acceptance.

Thou shalt not be overly
Emotional
But thou art not permitted to be
Robotic.

Thou shalt be assertive
But lo upon the woman
Who dares express anger.

Thou shalt have infinite patience.

Thou shalt be progressive without
Challenging the status quo.

Thou shalt carry thy burdens with
Immeasurable strength and without
Disintegration or failure.

And ye shalt do these things, that
Ye might become the 21st Century
Woman.