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1.2k · Nov 2022
Dad
Hastfan Nov 2022
Dad
Dad heard but never listened
Looked but never saw

Time spent was time wasted
And silence was our loudest talk

Money given was always taken
Reclamation for timeless thoughts

Dad went but never waited
Answered but never called

When time was there for us to talk
Dad drank,
and silence won once more
984 · Dec 2020
The Wolf King of Zubair
Hastfan Dec 2020
Above the clouds of Tunhill
High above the lands of Arangrad
Stands a figure shrouded
The Rains at his command

Pounds of steely muscle
Fur that sways
All shall tremble
Beneath his waves

Waves of might
Shows of power
Claws of steel so sharp
A hide nails dare not mark

There he stands
Still as night
Calmly though
The stars in fright

On his back
A banner of black
Made naught but tears
And a soaked blood bath

His eyes gleam strong
His gaze far reached
Along his brow
Furrows do reach

Fought hard battles
Turned many sour
Taught many to stand
And all to cower

Beneath his crown
Is all that matters
Nations far and wide
Forced to stagger

Feet of stumps
Roots do grow
Follows reach
Across the globe

Lands to him
Naught but strides
All shall come
Across his eyes

One is shadow
One is flesh
A metaphor
Never to rest

Vigorous gale
Lets none fail
A tattooed sight
For minds so frail

A silvered coat
Makes a mired mail
For none has scope
Fall beneath him - wail

How can you hope
To better yet
Come across one
With broader chest

One so mighty
Cares for all
Enemies of ours
Oh how they fall

Pride to be
One of ours
A mighty warrior
From our own house

The staggered foe
The blunted blade
All are similar
In certain ways

For how can they
Hope to last
Against sharpened stone
Built so fast

A force of nature
Belligerent foe
To the cosmos
Ones to show

Magnanimous hatred
Bitter so
Fought hard beneath
Sweltering tones

For ones creation
Is not wider known
A tremendous being
Moulded so

On fields of battle
Amidst the throng
Deep beneath
The waves that thrown

A king laid flat
A warrior flayed bare
A sorceress so
Shared malevolent stare

Powers of life magic thrown
Used angrily - outwards
Caused a reaction
None could have known

For too much life force
Causes all to grow
To enormous proportions
To then explode

But once or twice
Events conspire
That none could say
Gods would have aspired

For one such case
Where moments ago
Stood a young wolf
Unarmoured and blown

Now stood the force
That would become known
As the one above
The clouds we call home

A wolf still
If even close
But one to rival
The gods own prose

There he stood
Indenting the ground
With his new proportions
And staggering prowl

He gazed once forth
At bewildered witch
Then tore her apart
Aspire his wits

Then his great head lifted
Splattered with gore
To the lines of foe
Butchering his blood

And so he turned
With nothing but claw
Rendering steel
And oh so much more

On he went
With unholy vigour
Ripping and tearing
None saw it quicker

And once he was done
Drenched in the foe
His fur seeming to feast
On the battles below

The great wolf stood
And addressed his great nation
For beneath him stood
men from his station

He raised his proportions
And gathered himself
Rose to his height
And met all above shelf

With silvered tongue
He spoke for a time
And before him kneeled
Every single one in kind

For the wolves of his nation
Astonished you see
Now saw him as greater
Than any could be

Now as they knelt
Awaiting permission
The great wolf roared
all doubts deigned submission

And once he was done
And all had washed their blood
He spoke once more
But then only once

the words he spoke
Shall be etched in stone
Forever and always
To times unknown

Words of a leader
Words from the foe
Words that will follow us
To our graves and below


“I am the wolf
The one to be followed
I will be named king
And awash all of your sorrows

For i am a wolf
But now greater grown
And all that shall know me
Should name me this so

The mightiest among us
A powerful foe
To any before me
Who would seek hate to sow

A name i shall have
A name oft too much bitten
But for a ruler to lead
He must have his ambitions

Call me the wolf
A great king - A great man
Felled the foe
Saved our lands

For as my father
Named me as an heir
I shall be named
The Wolf King, of Zubair
755 · Aug 2023
Visual Snow
Hastfan Aug 2023
I see vivid, my vision flowered
All the colours, i call them ours
Afterimages and my poems
Branded on my eyeball's moments

Blue does spread like food colouring
Dropped in my vision spluttering
I close my eyes to escape the noise
But all it changes, is the background choice

I see the bright blue sky
With floaters, sparkles and vivid lies
And sometimes my hands are dissapear
Beneath shadows leftover from lights bright near

But all in all it is alright
After all i could lose my sight?
And that is without mentioning my ears
that have been ringing for years.
680 · Jul 2023
Where do I go
Hastfan Jul 2023
When I die, where do I go?
Does time not pass, noticed no?
Before my life, did time pass?
Did my presence stop present past?
When I was born did I wake?
I do not remember the day.
Did my consciousness come to be?
Or did non-existence pause for me?
Is this the natural state?
Is life the unhealthy, unnatural way?
Why is there a before and after?
Or does what existed before not matter?
Does past become present at once?
Does my heart that beats truly love?
Do these words that come from from my mind,
Exist before written, line by line?
I wish my mother had told me this,
That the point where past and presence switch
Is oft where you find reality sits.
When I die I believe time will pass all at once
Because when I sleep time does not pass for me
It only starts when I awake.
392 · Jul 2023
(L)otus Flower
Hastfan Jul 2023
All I see, my lotus flower
Sad to see our love gone soured

Yours was mine and mine alone
Expect it wasn’t - should  have known

My love for you, too much you said
You knew me, amongst the rest

My luck down, my sadness found
My heart bled, externally read



All in all my lotus flower
Sad to see our love went soured

Your voice, an angel found it’s home
My feelings made - hardly known  

But you left your notice made
Off you went, came my pain

And as you walked away from me
My heart bled red internally
The first is the worst.
282 · Jul 2023
Tattoos
Hastfan Jul 2023
The days are long, our time seemed plenty
I still have the words you sent me

They are held close - the warmth provided
The scent of you was passion guided

From the moment I held you in my arms
I felt hunger as if starved

I went dizzy the world watched-waited
For our embrace to end, I savour it

And the second I let you go, I awoke in our home
I watched love lost in moments known

When I said this was hard
And we had time wasted

I mentioned that other women waited
The cry you made in reaction

Will follow me through my haze
Haunt me in my future days

My feelings let my arrogance hasten
I wish I could go back  - And withdraw my hatred.
Was my reaction the problem or was it why I felt it appropriate?
281 · Jul 2023
Shelves
Hastfan Jul 2023
I stock shelves, oh how life sells
My anger and my hatred
Left behind a life held sacred
Poetry doesn’t pay the bills
If any good, even still
And as I feel myself slip away
To join the boxes stacked atop
I can’t help but wonder
If this life could happen not?
234 · Jan 2021
Those Who Hold Me
Hastfan Jan 2021
I see demons catch their breath
The stars dimmer at my behest
Although I will die a distant test
A million thoughts lie in my debt.

My mind is scattered, bridged by woes
Legions March my thoughts in droves
Mine is strength and lust for power
All shall weep and watch devoured.

For my dreams hold endless thought,
My mind has its destruction wrought
I bite my blisters - bear them forth
My skin a patchwork, of marked taunts.

Those who know me say they’ve told me
Bitter are the ones who hold me
Go now coldly, leave self lonely
Leave me be for one night only
I am bitter for I am broken.
230 · Jul 2023
Locality
Hastfan Jul 2023
I am where i cannot stay
The Devil cut out my tongue to play
I am buried in anothers grave
But where it is, i cannot say
222 · Dec 2020
The Fox
Hastfan Dec 2020
I sit there
Cold as ice
Watching all move
Enticed

My mind fast
Body still
Rhythm beat
My sense of will

I stand there
Watching all
Dance and sing
I’ve yet to breathe

This girl is beauty
Moves with grace
She sees right through me
My disgrace

All in all
Your gentle touch
Lost on me
My cold is rough

For I chase
A fox through trot
All it means
I’m better off

If I caught you
Red fur gleaming
I’d let you go
For I’m not hungry

And my vanity
Holds no place
For your tail
I respect your wit  

You’re not alone
Girls I loved
Can never warm
My heart enough

I sit still
In crowds are moving
Wandering why
My hands hold feeling

I can’t bear
The weight of talking
Yours is power
Mine is fleeting

For red fur
No matter what
Still belongs
To the fox
Why do I always feel out of place ?
217 · Jul 2023
Bleed
Hastfan Jul 2023
Beaten bitter, broke my bones
Time to make them, so I’m told
The hits I take them, on their own
My life is forfeit, taken home

Spit taste sweet, golden reached
Head is dizzy, taking me
Neck aches in lactic poverty
Knuckles I drag them, time to bleed
181 · Jan 2021
Sufferance
Hastfan Jan 2021
Oh by the cruel fate twist
Why must it be like this?
We fight and we suffer
We pay for our blunders

A prize so great
Leaves naught but gape
A hole in our lives
The whole of our rights

Our hope in a cage
Its our death that awaits
A peaceful bliss
A romantics last writ

Take some form
Go without scorn
Adapt and survive
For you will always suffer
155 · Jul 2023
Camera Roll
Hastfan Jul 2023
I loved you, and we’ve been here before
In my memories, you’re bitter, sore.  

Photos gone, pictures lost
Held on for so long, thought of times past

But finally I have released them
Gone from my possession, retreated -

Never to remind me again
All that’s left is what’s bled my heart red.


Memories and thoughts, your laughter echoes
I shed one last tear, scream as if you were near -

But you can’t hear me, won’t even know
How my heart felt about you long ago.

And now you’re gone
My memories will fade -

Distort and conform as I remember them
And I am sad, not because you’re gone -

Because eventually I’ll forget what we had,
And neither of us will be all that sad.
7 months.
135 · Jan 2021
All His Mirrors
Hastfan Jan 2021
I see death in all his mirrors
Lives have lost, lives he’s splintered

I see death on burnished clouds
Gaze upon him, for he is ours

I see death beneath his shroud
Turn back banner - taken how?

I hear death beneath the din
My life’s fears drowned to swim

I feel death atop my grave
Petals wilt - cry out in pain

I taste death beneath my blade
A startled sting of better days

I see death in all his mirrors
All shall weep, All you sinners
108 · Jul 2023
Friends
Hastfan Jul 2023
Here I am! Notice me!
I am here! Token please!

All is owed I’m wanted not
My friends are strangers
They know my thoughts

Time is my best friend you see
For I am patience and await my death
If I exist and no one knows
How will I ever find my place

Or am I destined moments
To take my victory, a life left halted?
Where are the men I knew
Did they forget or is friend left few
All that’s dust; is gone they said

Tomorrow  I’ll awake, noticed bled
My creativity circles me
Find me alone, taken leave
And one by one they went
To come around, i have sent
All my friends - my patients left
107 · Aug 2023
Venom
Hastfan Aug 2023
The venom laced with honeyed words
To all else no harm is heard

But I have seen in your eyes
Kindness has met its demise

Your words are stated - sufficed
Weaven, woven ahead of mine

Thoughts you own them in my mind
Rented, noted in due time

Notice taken of your ways
Insults you’ve layered under names

State your feelings known
Your true intentions thought not shown

Words weave wonders along the way
If you just say them, would feel sane

Because I know your wicked score
I have not tasted violence before

But this intricate pathetic morse  
Makes me wonder - if time suits more
Say it bluntly. Face the consequences
94 · Jul 2023
English Book
Hastfan Jul 2023
Taken her a little lamb
Just leave, I need not stand
How do we know each other?
Please no longer hold me under

I don’t want to be here anymore
Just leave me on the floor
Frozen me, what you used' be
Alive not wanted, alongside seen

Come to me and say your peace
Come to me as a priest,
You don’t have to talk less handsy
As long as it helps us gladly

Take me on the gutters
Throw me to the monsters
Save me from my demons
Those clever little creatures

Scurry my defect youth
Protect me from their notions
Throw me from the bleachers
Make sure no pieces broken

She died when her peers
Took her and made a bleeder
found it in my english book
how nice of me, the notes I took
92 · Jan 8
The Winged Death
Hastfan Jan 8
Here he comes, back on blood
Behold the winged death
There he goes, he was a toad
Unburdened of his flesh

Why went you? The border to,
Escape the one he sent
Then came her, the mighty cur
Delivered as you wept

Hers is of shadow stolen, all have known him
To be without mercy or intent
As a foul fiend, along him gleamed
Jewels and gold and gems

He gained broad wings and along them stringed
Skin that taunt was stretched
These limbs of carrion, carried him
Along winds that never swept

And among him screamed the past and means
To make better his regrets
His vision frozen, the touch of moments
Will scorch cold along his touch

He has no voice but those of choice
Hear the fate that he had met
And those who saw his mangled form
Know the terror they have saw

And even known him, the shadow stolen
Has eyes for what has let -
Him come about! hers was his out,
And now he come to rend

Eyes cold blue meet those that knew
The fire of crimson death
And there they knew that although true
Their fight was always meant
A page from an Epic

— The End —