i like angry poetry
the kind that churns
in your gut,
with razors for teeth
and gums bleeding.
i like the violent sound
of verbs clashing
on a decaying page,
like the shot of a gun
on a quiet day.
i like the poetry that stays,
that lies in waiting
like a dog in a cage,
words that creep like
voided birds into the
wired tress of my brain,
that pay their rent
like drunken travelers
and trash the place.
i like angry poetry
the kind that sears it's
screams to my lips,
which spirit echoes and
moans for eager,
****** eyes.
words that hit like *****,
giving their reader
a killer hangover.
i like angry poetry,
the kind that leave you
with a smoky exit.

most nights
i'm only loving you
in fragments,
i'm only loving
you in death

i wander your
mind like a child in
search of it's mother,
but you were
orphanages
not loving homes

only drugs can
compare to
the feeling of
disillusion
i had when i was
with you.

i love you,
i crave
you

i tell ya brother
it's a blessing and a curse
sorting one and another
deciding who comes first

"he who is without sin"
let him cast the first stone
will the faith or doubt win?
of a soul that's left alone

i tell ya brother
it's a heaven and a hell
the fate that belongs to others
it belongs to you as well

i skirt the edge of reality
yet i remain sane
for i know it is there
and should i dare
decide aware
that i should re enter where
dead eyes stare
where mother's bear the weight
of their children's pain
and pray that rain will keep them safe
away from sin
stave the devil let the Lord settle in
which direction do i take
is it life or something like it
where's the line between real and fake
give and take
love and make
love
bless me father for I have sinned
i have walked with the dead and scorned the living
i have sacrificed life for my true soul is giving
to those that reside on the other side
the spirits taken from flesh and blood
from life and love in fire and flood
i speak to them in darkness true
they know me in this in-between
where space from life to death is seen
i hear their voices
i see their light
in the comfort of our trusted night
allow these few moments to remain
for they find comfort in my pain

You craved my curves
while I craved your mind
that's why you were too busy ******* me to notice
that I was trying to undress your mind

Life is heavy
It sits behind my eyes
On my shoulders
In my chest
Sometimes the weight of it
Gets to be too much
And I find myself gasping for breath
But then I go home
Or as close to one as I have
And he smiles at me
Over a smoking bowl
Tells me stories that he didn't know he had
Curls up around me
Listens to me breathe
And in the dark and the silence
Ear pressed against his chest
His heartbeat steady
I can rest
And everything feels that much lighter

Tell my sister that I'm sorry.
Tell my other sister I'm sorry she had to be the one to tell my mom, I was afraid she would try to change my mind.
Tell my brother I wasn't bluffing.
Tell them that this was my apology to them.
Tell my grandmother to please open up the gates, I know this isn't how she wanted to see me but this world got too heavy on my shoulders.
Tell her....never mind I'll tell her myself.
Tell the blood to be quick about it.
Tell the pain I said goodbye and tell goodbye I said hello.
Tell depression that it won.
Tell my doctor that the medication didn't work. (It never did)
Tell John, my love, that EVERYTHING has his name on it. Tell him he makes this world spin.
Tell Sara I'm sorry I couldn't be her maid of honor at her wedding.
Tell Lacy she's right, I would do it.
Tell Brandon I imagined it was him pulling the trigger.
Please don't tell my little brother. Please don't tell him unless he asks
Ask my dad that if we make it to the same place if he could maybe talk to me first this time?
Tell my feet stop running.
Tell my body keep the pills down.
Tell Jessica, I know, don't follow me.
Tell my exes to whisper my name...now they know the sound of a dodged bullet.
Tell the ER it looks like temporary. Tell the ER I'm gonna rename it my father's presence.
Tell the nurse don't smile and hold my hand.  For Christ's sake don't look like my mother
Don't tell me I can heal.
Don't lie to me now.
Don't try to give me a reason to stay or something to live for.
Don't name my brother or my two year old cousin's smile.
Don't make me change my mind.
Don't make me want this. Please
Please don't make me want this.

Plea-