whatever does not love you back
never define yourself by that
for it is the love that you have
that makes you who you are

This morning will be a different one, for he will meet a girl
With an auburn eyes, a winsome smile and a hair that is curl
Strange she is, but in a beautiful kind of strange

The boy will stop and stare, will be lost in her haunting sad eyes
She will not notice, and will never knew, that cupid has
shot the boys young heart

The boy found a reason to go out every morning
To see her again, he was hoping
For her smile becomes the sun that brightens his day

He will sit from afar, and with an admiring eyes, just watch her
She paints, she reads, and sometimes plays with her dog's fur
He will silently watch and enjoy the beautiful scenario

It goes for almost a week
"I must be crazy, why do I stalk this chic?"
But he doesn't know the answer

All he know is, the girl brings peace to his heart
Her eyes and smiles are a piece of a pure art
and her laughs are a song to his ears

He could not explain it, watching her makes him happy
and sends a warm chill to his heart, very fancy
"I need to know her name"

The next day, the boy waited in vain
But the girl never came
"I'll wait again tomorrow"

It's been a week, but she never showed up again
In his chest a sadness and pain
Could not accept, she looked for the girl

He found out that the girl loves to paint
But the smell of the chemical will cause her to faint
That's why she sneaks out and do it once in a while

He found out that the girl loves reading
But her eyes failed her, every letters are dancing
That's why she sneaks out and pretends to read

He also found out that her hair was just a wig
And her red lipstick was to hide her pale lips
And finally he found out her name








With a sound of a breaking heart
He reads her name
*On her graveyard

I doubt
material wealth
means anything
in the afterlife
on the off chance
that I'm wrong
bury me
with my books
and my plastic owl.

The darkness fills my lungs and makes it difficult to breathe.
I try to call for help,
but my weary voice is suffocated by the hands of loneliness.

No one sees my pain,
no one knows how often I cry myself to sleep.
The hope of something yet to come is the only thing keeping me going.
But is that enough?

I just don't know if I can do this anymore.
Fake smiles become harder and harder,
and forced laughter breaks my heart.
Hiding this void inside me is slowly killing me.

I need to end this.
But the only way to stop everything is to destroy the beast inside.
I hope you understand.

I'm scared
I'm beginning to trust you
Its scaring me
I'm giving you ways to hurt me
Every Single Day
what's strange is
I don't think you will
Maybe
I'm scare because you mean more to me
than any other person.
You are everything I think about.
Everything I want.

Just so you know
I am perfectly aware of how unfeeling
and unaware I am to the world.

I tend to ignore things.
Or at least means I don't know about them,
or at least pretend not to.

See,
when you pretend not to care
or see or hear anything,
you have to be in full character.

That means no thinking.
I've been doing that for years.
May be that's why I am so unaware of everything around me.

And the only thing I think
I'm going to squash out of existence
when I step out into the real world.

Which was why I was perfectly fine living with my mom for as long as possible.

That least that was until recently.

Recently

I've been thinking a lot.
I find myself day dreaming more
and not just staring off into space practicing to keep a blank mind
.Full on day dreams too.

Then I started wanting more.
I find myself questioning.
I find myself worrying.
I find myself wanting to understand as to why this was happening.