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  Feb 2016 Cat Fiske
Alex Hoffman
Nobody “breaks” out of prison. Steel bars are hard enough to bend. One escapes through careful planning—months of fierce attention to detail. Until one day, when the conditions are absolutely perfect. Then, one escapes by beating the system.



One afternoon, while you are observing the doldrums of prison, someone will approach to offer you a key. “Only $5” they will say, “and this key will guarantee your escape. For it is a skeleton-key.” Now, there is an old saying that “If it’s too good to be true, then it probably is,” which is easy enough to say. But you have waited so many years in the colossal boredom and misery of prison. For $5, who knows—this key could guarantee your escape. What’s five dollars for the chance of escape? So you take the key, which turns out to be plastic, and immediately snaps in two inside the lock.



Certain lessons in life stick, and this is not one of them. If you drive up to a red light, for example, your foot will naturally reach for the breaks. But this type of lesson has little to do with emotions.



Bad days, on the other hand, will make the entire world feel hopeless and cruel. Even if yesterday had us believing in a world that is beautiful even when it’s ugly. On a bad day, there is no beauty at all.



So, beating a bad day isn’t always about coming to a solution. Sometimes, it’s about endurance. 



When you’re upset, it isn’t just because things got heated with a friend, or because of failure, or an unusually cold week on your holiday leave. When you’re upset, it’s because you were put on this earth to be upset. If you need proof, walk outside and ask—you will never find a person who doesn’t know pain.

But there are two outcomes to every coin toss, and even then, it isn’t as if the other face has disappeared. It is only hidden from sight until the next time the coin is tossed. And though you may not see it, you know for certain that if you turn that coin over the opposite face will be there.



This isn’t to say that our emotions are guided by the same lottery as a coin toss. Life, I hope, is full of choice and circumstance that exceed the simplicity of chance. But it is at least fair to say that, whatever the circumstances, you will outlive pain

…eventually. 



Sometimes you’ll have to endure many unlucky coin tosses. It will begin to seem as though they will all be unlucky.

But think hard—the other side is there.



Escape is coming, but you can’t break the bars. So keep your eyes open. Be patient. Every day is a new toss: no matter where the coin lands, the outcome is yours.
A short musing on how to face life and its inevitable sadness.
  Feb 2016 Cat Fiske
Desert Rose
I had to make some
Mistakes to
Figure out who I am
My mistakes made me the
Person I am today

Growing up I was
Never a know it all
Didn't really know
I had a voice
When I found my voice
I was too afraid to use it

At school
I stayed silent
Let everyone speak
To me, for me, about me
Those people
Didn't even know me

At home
My voice was overpowered
By my siblings
Who knew more than me
I just let everyone else
Get their way

Always a follower
Never a leader
Maybe that's why
I had to act out to
Find my way

Even now
Using my voice is scary
My family tells me to
Speak my mind
They get annoyed when I'm silent
When I speak
They never want to hear it

I want to do right
But everything's wrong
How can I be sure
That I do what's best for me
Instead of what other people
Decide is best?

Growing up is hard
Making mistakes
Learning how to
Grow thick skin and
Get over your problems
Can be difficult when you
Never learned
How to like yourself
  Feb 2016 Cat Fiske
Sara Jones
Ode to the girl working 5pm-5am trying to earnot her living.
Ode to the girl who cares for a small cat in a dreary room that cost almost $300 a month to live in.
Ode to the girl who works herself dead, where her workplace is home and her body is rejecting food because sheshe too poor to eat now.

Yes, if you haven't gotten the message by now, it's about me.
For working so hard and being all I can be, I certainly don't give myself much credit.
I work over 55 hours a week, sometimes I get up into the 60s.
Yeah, I'll complain I'm tired or that I wanna go home.
But do you see me missing my shift?
I worked my *** off and got a promotion and all my family thinks is that it's not nearly good enough, because I work at Dominos.

So this is for me.
This is for me staying up until 5 or 6 in the morning just to get up at 10am to play with my cat and feed her.
Staying up again until 5am the next morning, continuously only running on 4 or 5 hours of sleep.
I get less sleep than a college student.
And for once
I'm gonna tell myself good job
Because I live on my own, I pay my own bills.
I just bought my own car and I just might get a second job
All this for myself,
And ****

I'm so proud
For once, I'm giving myself the credit I deserve
  Feb 2016 Cat Fiske
Rj
Dear God,
IF he won't be a good husband when we leave
Please please please
Let him hurt me
So then I'll know to tell someone
I don't mind God
I can take anything he throws at me
(Literally)
So if he won't be a good husband,
Please let this happen to me
I'll be the one to get her out and to get him help
I still love him. But I need to protect my mom and if this happens I know what to do
I think about you
I think about us
I wonder what it could be
I wonder if it could last.

We are more than friends now
Something they couldn't imagine
But we have to keep our mouth shut
Or it might repeat the past.

All we know is tomorrow
Tomorrow we could make it work
As today we are scared
Scared to trust our gut.

We are meeting really soon
That makes so excited
But I am feeling quite nervous,
As i might be in a rut.

However, my lips dangerously miss you
My hair waiting to be caressed
My forehead is waited to be kissed,
When I am with you, I can easily forget the rest.


My heart is thumping
The blood is pumping
Soon I'll be next to you.
Soon i would be lying on your chest.
  Feb 2016 Cat Fiske
rattletaptap
When you look you see the outer shell,
When you think and feel you see the mind and soul beneath
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