i never thought i would be able to fall in love
ever
physically or emotionally
extreme vulnerability
was an absurd concept
in my mind
but i jumped
took a leap of faith
into the abyss of impossibilities
and free fell
right into the safety net
created by your arms
the tenderness of our fingers intertwined
soon became my life vest
if these feelings were to suffocate me
you would pull me back to the surface
and revive me
with the purity of your breath
i would always be okay
because i loved you
i love you
i still love you.
this love
that i try so hard to make evaporate into the nothingness
never fails to find a way to come pouring back into me
you took your full name
and engraved it into my soul
so there it stays
like a ball and chain
always reminding me of what could have been

if you are going to fall in love with me,
you must know that i cry. a lot.
i cry during rainy days, sunny days, or on a monday morning.
i cry everytime i watch a happy movie and everytime i cut onions,
but do know that i cry harder every time i talk about the things that have hurt me, even if they don’t hurt anymore.

i need constant reassurance.
for i am afraid of being left behind, of being unloved.
i will probably tell you all the things i hate about myself
while you disagree with each one of them
but i still won’t believe every single word you’ll say.

i got used to shutting down the people who care about me.
it will be so hard for me to open up,
but all i’m asking you is to stay patient, and give me time to adjust.
you might think i’m rejecting your company,
but don’t blame yourself, i appreciate you.

so listen, if you are going to fall in love with me
understand that i’ve been through the worst
but still, i’ll love every inch of your skin unconditionally