No matter how much you've changed
Your shadow remains
The same

You're a shadow of your old self
But no matter how hard you try
You cannot escape it

Letting light shine in
Allows the old you
To come through

But surrounded by darkness
I no longer know
Who you are

So when that happens, I recite the mantra once more:

No matter how much you've changed
Your shadow remains
The same

The room feels heavy,
sleepy morning smiles
and satiate English words
clinging to to air.
They reach out,
trying to pinch me,
as insistent as
the professor's smile.

Some of us still feel
as we do at 7 a.m.,
though our minds are
overflowing fountains
of new knowledge
as we try to hold
and scoop it back in.
they're drowning me,
the letters are drowning
and too tired
to swim.

It's the feeling I get
of a stomach ache
and not being able to tell
whether it's because
I'm actually sick,
or just overwhelmed
with possibilities.
*What will I do?
What will I be?
Maybe I should
just try to focus
on what's in front
of me.

I was never scared of my shadow as a child
I watched it dance on walls
Race across the playground mulch
Create puppets wrapped in campfire light

It wasn't until last year that I saw it begin to move on its own
Sneaking out at night, wandering places I've never been
And creeping back in through the window at dawn

My shadow took on a life of its own
Drifting in and out of rooms like a ghost
And making decisions I had no power to stop

So I watched the dark silhouette in silence,
And when I could no longer bear our dichotomy,
Detached.

I've lost all my baby teeth
But I remember the ache in my gums
The ****** holes they left behind

I exchanged each pearl for a coin
From a glittering fairy tale falsity
A consolation prize for growing up

Bits of bone falling from my mouth
I bid my skeletal farewell
To the pieces of me I no longer needed

There is a street lamp at the end of my driveway
A luminescent lollipop
Flooding the cement with a pool of yellow light

But I'm still afraid to go out after dark
To trod through the grass or dance across concrete
And make it past that street lamp

They are on every street corner in my neighborhood
Crafting a world in which darkness does not exist
But I'm not afraid of the night; I'm afraid of being seen

I have a best friend, his name is Nobody
Nobody likes me
Nobody cares for me
Nobody notices me
Nobody hugs me when I feel down
Nobody helps me
Nobody talks to me
Nobody loves me
Nobody wants me
I love Nobody too