Sunday morning
all is peaceful and quiet
I was drinking coffee
while skimming the morning paper
Listening to the cars
roar in the distance
You came out of the bedroom
yawning, stretching
looking cute with your bed hair
Eyes squinting
Adjusting to the sunlight
You made your way to the kitchen
poured yourself a cup of coffee
and took a seat across from me
We just stared
Studying each other
Not a single word uttered
We sat still in silence
a comfortable one
Few minutes passed
You looked a way
licked your lips then smirked
Often
I daydream about
doing a lot of things to you
I wonder
Are you thinking
the same way I do?

we’re sitting in silence and i can feel it somewhere in my bones
can feel it somewhere that you’re going to leave me someday
that you’ll look at me with eyes of strangers meeting for the first time
(and for the last time, as far as they’re concerned)
you’re whispering against my ear and it’s resonating at the base of my
spine and you’re telling me you’ll never leave, you’re so dead in
love with me and i know that you are, i can hear it in your voice
i can see it in your eyes
they way they light up when you think i’m not looking
but you’ve got bitter settled somewhere deep inside your heart
and sometimes it unearths itself, sometimes it
cuts me in places i’ll cover and try not to show you
i’ll dress the wounds myself, don’t you worry about me
and i know you won’t
one day, you really won’t
you’re lacing up promises to me and you think they aren’t empty but
they are, darling.
they are.

we’re sitting in silence and i can feel it somewhere in my bones
though you’re thousands of miles away and you haven’t held me in months
that you’re looking at pictures of me with eyes of strangers
meeting for the first time
and you’re looking for the last time, as far as you’re concerned
you’re whispering against someone else’s ear now,
and she’s thinking you’re moving mountains in her, i’m sure of it
and if she doesn’t feel that way, you get away fast
you think you’re so dead in love with her and i’m
sure you think you are
you were always so sure of things
so positive you had it right
and you’ve still got bitter settled somewhere deep inside your heart
have you let it come out? has she seen your hidden darkness?
i hope you have someone there to dress your wounds
if it ever cuts you in places you won’t show
and i’ll try not to worry about you
one day, maybe i won’t
i’m lacing up promises to myself that i’m going to be okay and i’m
swearing they aren’t empty but
they are, darling.
they are.

-k.c.
*10-03-2014

His mouth tasted like cigarette smoke and lies.
He told me of my beauty and the freckles in my eyes.
He held me like all the broken pieces could just be remade.
Out of his mind shone a darkness that enveloped me; that remained.

With teeth as sharp as the truth
he would kiss me through
to the otherness that is me.

With hands as lithe as the night sky
he would lead me toward sin;
toward the part of me always hidden within.

With lips as supple as the wings of a bird
he would whisper to me
"oh, my sweet, sweet love, just give in to me; just let it be."

And I did.

With each kiss.
With each touch.
With each whisper.
With each cigarette.

I gave in to him.
To sin.
To night.
To life.

He was the death of me but he taught me how to live.