2017 was my last year I posted a poem
2017 was a tough year for me

2017 was a year I faced breakups
2017 was a year I was at my lowest

However 2017,
was the reason why
Why I got up,braced myself for a better year,better life.

I found love,
Love for myself.

Thank you 2017.

Hey,
How are you?
I hope you are doing fine
but if you are not fine
here's a message for you.

I want you to know,
You cannot please everyone in this world
even you did something good,
something that helps the society
something that helps you,yourself
something that help your friends

There will be people unsatisfied with your actions
they'll haunt you with criticism
they'll compare you to someone better
they'll barge into your life
and bring you down

No matter how good you are
how kind you are
how talented you are
how much you wanted to be you
be yourself completely
You will never,ever
get to please every single one
in our society

I want you to know,
that I want you,
to be yourself.
Be YOU

Whether you are
straight,
gay,
bisexual,
transgender ,
queer,
love yourself.

Do what you love,
Do what you enjoy,
as long it can please you,
satisfy your day,
you are happy,
it'll make me happy.

I want you to know,
you have friends and family,
that'll always be by your side
they will help you through
the ups&down; in life.

Ignore what other people say about you
Do not let them pull you down
Be strong,
fight back,
move forward,
Care about what you think,
not what others think of you.

I hope you'll soon be fine,
I've been there,
I know how it feels.

My final message for you,
is to be you.

Countless times I told myself
Never ever fall in love easily

Countless times I told myself
Never ever repeat the mistakes

Countless times I told myself
Stop putting on high hope on someone

Countless times I told myself
Never trust someone easily

Countless times I told myself
Reminding dear self my heart is covered with scars

Countless times  I told myself
To be happy

Countless times I told myself
To put myself first instead of others

Countless times I told myself
To love myself more than others

Countless times I told myself*
Stay away from from relationships

Because relationships
Was the reason to my scars
Of my heart that is now badly damaged

Genki desu,
I am fine,

self-isolation at home,
self-reflection,
self-relaxing moment,

read a poem,
write a poem,
bake a cake,
eat a slice,

time to heal,
time to help,
time to save,

you&I through this epidemic .

They told me not to be afraid
They told me not to hide
It is time to face it

I practiced every single day
practice makes perfect
It trained me to be better and better

I am now well prepared
I sharpened my blade
Ready to slice every obstacle away
Ready to cut through every single issues

I prepared a shiny armour
To avoid people from hurting me
Especially my fragile heart

I learned how to fight
So that I can fight for myself
So that I can stand up for myself
Because I have countless scars left on me

I am ready
I am ready to face tomorrow
I am well prepared
For all the obstacles I'm about to face
Because *I am a warrior

Just to let you know
I'm finally moving on now
after a year of you stuck in my head
tossing and turning every night before I sleep
finally I won't do that anymore

Just to let you know
I've learn from my mistakes
I learned that I should never trust someone too much
the fact that I trusted you too much
that you'll be forever mine
forever by my side
was a huge impact on me after you left

Just to let you know
If I see you again
You'll see a new me
I'll be a independent strong woman
You'll see how good my life is without you
That it'll make you wonder why you left me
That it'll make you want me back

Just to let you know
I won't ever look back
I'll officially stop thinking about you
I'll take a step further now
Anything that is left behind
I'll never go and get it back
because I'm finally moving on now

Target locked
there he goes
aiming straight in front of me

He was the prey
I was the predator

He lured me with believable kind words
shot me with his gorgeous smile of his
made me fall into his trap
beautiful perfect man
that fluttered my heart

Who would know that
this beautiful man
targeted to break my heart
not to crack it
but to completely break it into pieces

My heart shards like glasses
he indeed aim it successfully
successfully to break my heart

my beautiful soul
soon became a dark black soul
why did I  not know earlier
that I was the target

What had I done wrong?
I do not deserve this
I cannot believe in the fact that
*I was the target

You were the one for me
You were the one I cherished the most

You dislike coffee
Hot chocolate is your ultimate favourite

You eat every single vegetables
except for carrots

You love my naked face
You love my insecurities

We still need time to learn about each other
Unfortunately I had to stop it

I didn't know I was the third party
to your another beautiful relationship

We've been together for almost a year now
You've been with her for 5 years

I didn't know whether I was the foolish one
or you were the foolish  one

Was it my fault since I was the one
to interfere into your life?

I didn't know I was the third party
I'm sorry lets not contact each other anymore

We both are from different country
specifically very far from each other

You don't know my language
I don't know your language

our culture may be different
our tradition may be different
our belief may be different
our skin color may be different

both of us tried
I'm glad we tried
because there's a spark between us
that you and I can see

The few days we spent together
was the best days of my life

No I wouldn't want it to be over
This is just the beginning for both of us

Long distance relationship is absolutely hard
People say it is impossible
People say it is a joke
an infatuation

but I'll try for 'us'
and I hope you'd do the same as i do
I want 'us' to be real.

Because I wouldn't want it to end
Believe me I know,
This is just the beginning for us two.