You touched my soul
The intimate of all intimates
And burned away all the sorrow
As well as the pain and misery.
All emotions that ate away my delight of life
Were replaced with the foundation of you
It was like seeing in colour for the first time
And feeling the wind run its fingers through my whole body
It invaded my whole self
As you enlightened all that I was.

Always wear comfortable shoes
2. Always have a comfortable mattress
3. Go to the toilet when you have a choice
4. Always butter your toast into the corners
5. Remember to dance, always
6. 2 ears 1 mouth use them in that ratio
7. Happy wife, happy life
8. Opportunities of a lifetime only last for the lifetime of that opportunity
9. Only know how to have good days
10. Never let go of your friends hand
11. The best things of of live is on the other side of fear

I pick up my pen
Like it's an anchor to the living
Oh to be a fool in love with death

I was 17 when it happened
I trusten them
It was going well
Until it wasn't
And a fun day with a friend became a nightmare
They invited me over
To play on their xbox and watch tv
But watching tv became perverse
Their hand drifted towards me
And became an uninvited guest that I never wanted
It all went too fast, too unknwn too wrong
I became a stranger in my own skin
No longer aware of what was happening
Like a passenger on a ride
Watching my own body a few feet away
It was suffocating the corruption of what he did to me
Years later i still remember his body on top of mine
And the smell of sweat is still **** in my nose
And i try to distract myself from the uncontrollable shaking that i can't stop
But all I can think about is his hands on my throat
And the fear that still lingers today.
Till this day i have never spoken of this
But today I have immortalised the day that I wish to forget.

It's not a tick box exercise that can be done in a day, it will be long and relentless. It's learning to hold your tongue when your body screams to have a say in the matter, LORD forgive me. It is learning to die to yourself through all the guilt and temptation of modern life, LORD forgive me. It's learning to surrender to the inclinations of your natural life and bring them to the LORD.

Trying to ignore the voices inside my head is like trying to ignore the pain from a candle when my hand is held over the flame and sometimes I just can't. Living by faith is hard work, not wanting to live to satisfy the body is hard work. Wanting to live by faith isn't the same as being ‘good’, and I'm still trying to learn and remember that.