I look past my reflection in the mirror;
whale-sized thighs, and
arms too big for the oceans
rain pours down like sharp daggers
into my flesh, and I’m tired
teeth hurt, and I’m tired
heart pounding, and I’m tired
my mermaid waves leave my head like
an old porcelain doll, dying
and I’m tired
I teach my body how to stop needing,
in with the calories, and I’m tired
out with the calories, and I’m really tired
silent screams echo at the fake reflection
that stares blindly through the broken
mirrors
**** me up, I’m seeing stars tonight
bones aching, and I’m smiling
bullets to the head, and I’m smiling
painstakingly dancing through the night
till I’m void of nothing,
they say empty is beautiful, and I want
so dearly to feel beautiful
calories scattered on the floor, like the
those scattered thoughts of everything
I used to be
and everything I am now
scatterbrain, tell me how you feel
when your insides are void of
self-love
you eat hatred for breakfast
and spit self-pity into your toilet
tell me again, silly girl,
do you feel beautiful now?

You are fire in the night.

A glittering sigh whispers across an indigo canvas, painting pinpricks of cool light along its way.
The stars shine coldly from their pockets in the sky.
But you.

You are fire in the night.

The moon-washed trees shiver beneath the cool gaze of the stars.
The stars. They are ice, they are snow, they are a biting winter wind.

But you.

You are fire in the night.

A ribbon of river dances off into the fading evening sun.
I am tiptoes in the day; in the day, I fall like water.
In the day, I want to stay; in the day, I do not falter.
But by darkness, I am dust.
I am flammable in the night.
Like the trees, I am moon-washed
         (in fact, I am moon-dusted)
and like the trees, I shiver beneath the cool gaze of the stars.
But you.

You are fire in the night.

You are fire in the night, and I
I

                I

                         combust

               as you approach.

Your eyes
a dark sea
so full
yet so empty
I looked in
to see what I could find
but it was only you
dead inside

Trapped inside my body
trapped inside my mind
no one wants to listen
no one hears my cries

I found a door
With no lock, only needing
The gentlest push
And
It opened freely Wide.
I
Entered inside
Therein I encountered
The Truth
Of All things.
God!
It makes So much sense!
If only They knew!
I can' t go back
They
Solely
Have to find this door.

Nature can make one
Feel Gloomy and chilled,
But when you believe in her
And endure
She
Will
Wrap you up in Spring and Summer.