re-lapse, re-cover
re-peat, re-pair
re-act, re-press
re-lapse, re-member

im addicted
im addicted to hating myself
im addicted to crying over you
im addicted to longing for the warmth of your touch
im addicted to reliving moments in my head i would give anything to get back
im addicted to looking at you and still getting butterflies
i know i shouldn't, but that's why its called an addiction

Why must I be within your heart
This hurts as I wanted to leave,
When with eternity you grow,
And every fare declines way.

This could mean I shall stay,
But for whom,
Just for you.

I press my hand down,
Slowly, onto the surface
Taking in all of what I feel
A slow still, a polite chill

I think it's oak, maybe mangrove
Aged richly to a russet fade
I trace the grains,
Nothing to be unsee.

There's hints of umber
And a dash of pecan,
A smell so earthy, divine
Softly coated so nothing splinters

Lines trace the frame
Like a painter pieces a canvas
Swirled lines like calligraphy
A piece of art.

My thoughts never
get tired of me
They feel the winter
While I live the summer

I never get to have a chance
A certainty meant to last
A love undone of the past
Four wheels on pavement so fast

Not to be stopped or taken
Just to be lived and laughed

To romanticize a life
That never was and never has
A life unlived but loved
Lies wrapped in fantasies

Suddenly walking the street
Softly, calmly, a normal speed
Why is it every time I dream,
I get interrupted by the sound

Of an interior not designed
An exterior not built for the light
A romantic life, but never mine.

I love you like a wind-
That never breezed
My warmth for you is like a winter
That wouldn't get too cold

A love so kind and caring
Like a bird spreading its wings
And a dog running free
Perhaps a bee that keeps its stings

I love the sun a little more-
When you're around to watch
I love the pouring rain
Or the stars I cannot touch.

Writing my life away-
Like a play-
That won't stay-
Although it may-
Feel like that for now
I know deep down,
I'll be okay