The depression keeps me wrapped in a warm cocoon.
I am used to the waves of sadness and emptiness that comes with this storm. I want to escape, but I fall back on old habits that have worked in the past. I know these are unhealthy, but I am working toward being a better version of myself

The anxiety chokes the life out of me, but it is all that I know.
My mind is always racing and quiet makes me uncomfortable.
It is the default button that turns on when I wake up in the morning.
I see the hole in the middle of the street.
I fall in because it is what I am used to.

I am responsible for my actions and have come to term with my decisions made in the past. I hope that through this recovery, I can notice the hole and walk around it. After moments of hard work and perseverance, I know that I can walk down another street.

I am bright. I am brilliant. I am beautiful. You are too.

Euphoria, euphoria, euphoria
This energy is glowing inside of me
My mind won’t stop spinning
Is this insanity?

You are the sun that shines bright.
You are the stars that glow in the night.
Show the world you’re indomitable.
Don’t go down without a fight.
The mighty will rise.

I don’t want to be alone
But I end up that way

Part of me wants to go out
But anxiety holds me back

I try to push myself to socialize
But depression always holds me tight

So I just lie in bed  
Why can’t I even cry?

Ohh I’m lonely
This is so confusing
And it is consuming me

My mind is distorted
And it says:

“No one wants to be around me
Everyone always leaves
Will anyone every love me?”

This loneliness
might be the end of me

Starts off fine.
Nothing bad in sight.
One spark is all it takes.
Downward spiral into the abyss.
I am quickly deteriorating.
There is no fight left to give.

My mind tricks me into believing that I can be okay.
But I cannot do this anymore.
I am told to take life one day at a time.
But how can that be if each day is harder than the last?

I lie in bed
Wide awake

What to do
I’m so confused

My heart is racing
Palms are sweating

I’ve lost control of this

Legs are shaking
Mind is spinning

Why aren’t I over this?

I try to breath
To lower my anxiety

But all I think is that I’m dying... dying

Am I really dying tonight?

This blue sky is a reflection of the color of your eyes. I miss your touch and your everlasting love that’s floats like the clouds as the sun rises at dawn.

Live life without regrets of what others think.
Don't focus on what you think you should do.
Live knowing you're doing what you enjoy.
Love yourself without judgment.
And look ahead at what the future may hold.