I want to go back to the days
when waking up
every morning
was not a
chore.

I want to go back to the days
when I didn't have to
practice a smile
every morning in front of the
mirror.

I walk through time
hoping that the
planets in the
universe above
would stop
spinning,
so maybe,
even for one second,
my mind too
could
stop
spinning.

I want your lips
brushing against
my neck
telling me what you
have not told
anyone else.

I want your arms to
curl around my waist
like a promise
to never
let go.

But that's just it, isn't it?
Want. want. want.

Nothing
I'll ever
have.

Dreams are a fiction reality
Where sometimes it brings you to a wonderful place
While other times your left in your own hell.
How You wake up and take it is more important.
Are you happy?
Left in a confusion?
Or just get up like nothing happened
because, you know it didn't.
For myself,  Dreams follow me all day
Eventually until they're either forgotten
Or the next night comes and a new dream appears.
I find it funny that a good dream
Can now be left as a nightmare
And a nightmare isn't so scary anymore.
Although tell me this,
When you know it's a dream
Do you wanna wake up
Or just see how it goes?

Three years now
I have started off
Pressed into your lips

Two years now
February has been my personal hell
And you held my hand

One summer now
We didn't make it all the way
And you kissed my hand goodbye

I don't know how many nights
I have cried to you
And you don't know
How many of those nights
I cried about you

I am tired, really tired...
I am tired of my talents not being recognized
I am tired of constantly proving myself
I am tired of being disabled

I am so tired...
Tired of not belonging
Tired of being invisible
Tired of being worthless

I am very, very tired...
I am tired of exchanging fake smiles
I am tired of meaningless conversations
I am tired of appearing dumb so as to get help

I am just tired...
Tired of being useless
Tired of failing
Tired of not dreaming

I am extremely tired...
I am tired of being apologetic
I am tired of being left out
I am tired of being ugly

What I am I saying?
What am I really tired of?
Why am I tired?

I am tired...
Tired of being speechless
Tired of being powerless
Tired of being afraid

In fact, I am broken down...
Broken down by being black
Broken down by being African
Broken down by being primitive

You are
    memorable
       to me
              and
        I was
          probably
                      just
          another face
                in the crowd
            for you.

I'm alone.
               I'm lonely.
                               I'm hurt.
   I need someone to talk to and to lean on..
   But I'm still here smiling and strong.
   Because I know God has a better plan for me. Alone.

It's December I think I can fix you.

It's January I can't fix you.

It's February I'm not your bandaid.

It's March you say you can fix me.

It's April I don't need fixing.

It's May I can feel again.

It's June I can feel nothing.

It's July I am empty.

It's August I am afraid.

It's September you care about me.

It's October you and I have our problems.

It's November we won't fix each other.

It's December well work on them together.

It's January I am yours and you are mine.

It's February I love you more now than ever.

It's March thank you.

Inside jokes

                     Late night rendezvous

                                                         There's no nerd

          That drives me more crazy than you