Oh, I used to love you
to lay in your arms
how you held me so tight
soon fell apart
how leaves fall from a tree
love needs to restart
leaves are stepped on and they crumble
the way they disintegrate, is like my heart

I ponder on the fictional love
that splatters on the television
as my tears spill because I will never
experience that love
I am not in a movie

To dance the night away
is my new favorite thing
the flashing lights, the whisky in my breath  
and the man attempting to dance
all excite me
I escape into the night
and I forget the truth
I never want to leave
You will find me at the club, now every single week

I want so bad to be with you
You say you want the same
But every time we’re together
You cause me so much pain

I want so bad for things to work
Despite what people say
I love you more than ever
But all you cause is hate

Frightened by my own actions
Why am I this way?
I sleep with you
I sleep with him
To keep the worries away
And while I know
The feeling won’t last
I beg for it to stay
Because I’d rather be
With you
Or with him
Than in my own dismay

Too tired to get out of bed
The bathroom is too far
Let me lay
Let me day dream
Let me sleep
Concentration at lowest bar
Untouched pile of work
Looser fit in my jeans
Thoughts consume my head
Get me out of this scene