I always have this nightmare.

This nightmare has no ghosts, or zombies, or anything unreal.
This nightmare I have is about a sad boy, who hates the world and struggles with everything in life.
This nightmare is about a boy who can’t focus on studying  because he has to focus on keeping the rope under the bed.

This nightmare is about a boy who can’t focus on eating because he has to fight that urge whenever crossing a bridge.
This nightmare is about a boy who can’t have friends because of his anxiety and his lack of ability to cope with life.
This nightmare is about a boy who uses alcohol and drugs as a crutch because it works better than therapy and pills.

This nightmare is about a boy who still cries over his mother, creating memories of her instead of reliving them because she was gone before he was born.
This nightmare is about a boy with no dad because he ran away from the future of this boy.
This nightmare is about a boy who tries to forget about the pain by inflicting pain on himself.

This nightmare is about a sad boy who is lost.

This nightmare is real.

That boy is me.

I’m still waiting to wake up.

Time is on your side,
what a beautiful lie;
so many reasons to cry,
so many wishes to die.
Spare time is worse,
to reflect on your curse.
When life moves this slow
you prefer a physical blow.
You just want to go,
you’re sick of feeling alone.
You quit asking why
when you’re too tired to try.
You barely get by
and long for the end.
This hand you were dealt
you can’t ever amend.
You'd rather fold,
It's getting so old.
Your life's a joke,
even with money;
you'll always be broke.

i am an ice cream.
the way you look at me is
just so hot, i melt.