The feeling of neutral,
Is bleak and bland.

For I cannot fathom
This life of random.
This feeling of doom,

It is present
Yet seldom.

It is static
And paralytic.

I feel erratic.

Yet I am calm,
Content.

But my mind,
Unresponsive,
Perhaps braindead.

My sanity,
Decreased
To the thinnest thread.

As this feeling of neutral,
Has emptied my head.

Cease
And release me.
The fire
Burns freely.

Eating me
Slowly.
Fists open the
Walls of my sanity.

Hot,
And heavy.
Breath rapid yet steady.

It hasn’t left me,
Internally,
Destroying me quickly.

For you,
Do not notice.

But only when you do,
I am a monstrosity.

Resistance,
It is all I know.
Forks and spoons
Are all for show.

My taste buds,
Numbing.
My senses,
Succumbing.

To bitter truth
Of my body,
Crumbling.

My stomach,
Rumbling.

This is torture and divine,
All at the same time.

For I am blind,
And my body is weak.
Crawling with little energy,
For no meal shall I eat.

I will wait and see,
Who finds me,
In front of my reflection.

For sustenance,
I welcome rejection.
My body,
Now filled with injection.

For you mention,
That I
Am a section
Of what I used to be.

Leaving me
To feel like rotten meat.
But you,
Scolded my body.

Isn't this what you wanted to see?

The world is spinning,
But I lay still.
Wrapping in thoughts
I wish to ****.

I question
And wonder,
Of a life
Given so sad,
And sombre.

'Why bother'?
I ask,
For fate
Has flaws.
Dark dreary days,
As the night calls.

For I feel it all.
Of my body,
In agony.
My anatomy,
It falls.
Yet so statically
It stalls.

Death is my father,
And I,
His daughter.
We bond like no other,
Thinking of each other.

My soul,
Punctured.
My heart,
Ruptured.
May life encourage me instead?

For my body is alive,
But my mind is dead.

As the world is spinning,
All becomes dreary.
Consumed in thoughts,
That finally **** me.

These little monsters
Follow me around.
I need to run,
Outrun them now.

They run miles,
But never slow down.
Living in my head
Until I am dead.

Shall they follow me
To the grave?
Six feet under,
But there they lay.

Would they
Still have life,
If I am to die?
Would they still speak whispers
Into my mind?

For they are infested
Into mine.

But what am I thinking?
My enemy is me.
I am unkind to myself,
Left my senses to flee.

They are just a small
Depiction of myself.

For I am not them,
Nor anyone else.

The road is long,
But I run
Faster than the sun.

I leave a note
On my bed.
Minds fill with dread,
Questions asked;

'Is she dead?'.

No mommy,
But I do not wish
To come home.

I feel too alone.

The road is long,
But I run
In the blink of an eye.

But where does it lead?
To peace?
Shall I run back
And cease?

No.
I shall run more,
Leave the others to scorn,

So mommy knows
My heart is torn.

But now
The road comes to end.
Sirens,
They fill my head.

They run with me.
Those men.
Chasing me
For fun and glee.

But they finally catch up,
They sound much louder.

For I see mommy,
Looking quite sour.

She brought me home
Near the morning hour.

I lie in a daze,
My mind is a haze.
I wake up in bed,
With the sound of rain.

But today's the day
I do it again.

In goes one,
Head hung low.
Arms in a fold,
Hands deathly cold.

Stares and glares,
Across the room.
Panic emerges
As they hover
and loom.

Small pleas
and prayers
Leave their mouth.
But no sirens heard
When they begin to shout.

A shout becomes a cry,
A cry for a guide.
Somewhere to hide,
Feeling ready to die.

But no guidance
They recieve,
All alone and weak.
Waiting for nothing,
Responses are bleak.

No comfort to share,
Not a word of care.
No genuine meaning,
Just simply speaking.

No heartbeating,
Mind leaving,
As you rot
In your own mistake.
As your soul,
Once young and bold,
Now ice cold,
From another life
Not saved.

Now in goes two,
Bodies hung so small.
Words spoken in tired voices;
'We are the ones that made the call'.