We make up our stories
Our logic and rationalizations
For what happened
That shouldn't have
And
For what didn't happen
That should have

We say
God is benevelont
The universe is your friend
Don't worry
All is well and always has been

Yes, these are good stories
And maybe they are true

But what can i tell my tears?
The arise from a deep well
within
my heart
The well of tears

They cry as they wait
For the moment and day
When this friendly universe
Makes up its own mind
To bless my clouded eyes
with the vision
of Thine Feet

Blue Feet, Bamboo flute
My life, my love
My refuge eternal

that the moment has arrived
where the original ideal of
the a m e r i c a n  e x p e r i m e n t
has hit right up against
the ability of humanity to reach
that height and create
that reality.

.we have failed.

If you are a suicide survivor
Inbox me your name
And I’ll add it to my tattoos of others

You guys mean the world to me
And I have my own name on my arm
Because I too, am a suicide survivor.

im not submerged into anything
im drowning in my own breath
drowning in stress
anxiety
sadness
yet nothing at all
im numb
but im suffocating in this world
nothing is blocking my air passages, nothing is around my neck
but i feel a tightness in my throat
i shake
yet im silent
i get irritable
annoyed
and i shut down
sometimes i'll cry
others i just sit there staring at nothing
and i just... sit

Santa Fe, Texas
May 18, 2018

welcome to America.
where there had been 11 school shootings before
the end of january of 2018.
welcome to America
where the mentality of the attacker
is the problem,
and not the system.
welcome to America
where a 17 year old Pakistani girl was killed in her school
among 9 other beautiful souls.
welcome to America, Sabika
which was greeted to you nearly six months ago
where you arrived in the "land of hopes and dreams"
to learn and grow and achieve.
welcome to America
the country that showed promise from the looming Taliban threats in Karachi, your hometown.
welcome to America
the country that you were going to help save Pakistan
by building stronger US - Pakistan relationships
and showing women empowerment by being
(possibly) the second female prime minister of Pakistan.
never again would you watch fireworks explode in the sky on August 14
never again would you count up your money on Eid
never again would you eat your mom's biryani on a hot summer day.
welcome to America, Sabika Sheikh
your hopes and dreams were alive and floating
in the land you gave your heart to
and the land that would take it away.

- a.g.