Skies filled w/ fluorescent lights. Reminiscent of the different times that flashed before me. But as all lights, they burn out. They fizzle. They crackle. Their luminosity gives way to darkness. And then there’s nothing. Sometimes briefly, other times for prolonged periods. Over time, I’ve become accustomed to the darkness. The nothingness. The absence of a glow. No shine in the distance. No light in the future. So perhaps.. the darkness is the norm for these skies. My skies. Until another fluorescent light shows its face. To brighten my skies once again.

the clouds in the sky darken their moods
the sun bids us farewell
as small droplets of rain begin to fall, I wonder..
is this God changing his wardrobe?
pulling the hood over his head
to keep us from seeing the tears that fall from his face?

Consequences: made for learning lessons
I convert unlearned lessons
Turned to abnormal blessings

Stretching the truth to hold you
Pricked by your gorgeous daze
I bleed profusely, yet don’t turn away

The love I swore to keep
My blood tells other tales
Intoxicated from your smell

Continuing to caress your sides
Wincing in pain
Feeling as if there’s something to gain

No end to my quest in sight
Finding the rose I thought I would need
Loving the one that caused me to bleed

My hard drive is precious to me
It’s the only one I have
it’s the only one I’ll ever have
So this software I’m downloading
It has to be acceptable
Not only to me..
But to my hard drive as well
As time progresses
My care lessens
So does the health of my hard drive
The wrong kind of software found its way in
Getting caught up in the thrill of what I let in
My hard drive was suffering..
Yet I was ignorant to its well being
Now not only is it deteriorating
So am I
No matter how much I uninstall
They’ve left their mark
On my hard drive

Here I arrive, dressed in all black
Appearing to this cordial event
Nothing to gain from this experience
Only a re-visitation

Greeted by the master of service:
A fellow who looked vaguely like me
Introducing me to the partygoers:
The very things I tried to escape from my entire life

Lust, adorned in a tight red dress and heels
Tempting me with the fire of our past flings
I manage to control my quake
Remembering the times we shouldn’t have had

Regret, casual and comical
Drunk and cracking jokes with everyone
Trying to reconcile for the grief he caused
I remembered the times we shouldn’t have had

Depression, huddled in a corner
Appearing to be a beaten, scarred child
Staring directly into my soul with pitch black eyes
Making me remember the times we shouldn’t have had

Heartbreak, a tall, long-legged mistress
Scoffing at the sight of me
Sending a slight chill up my spine
Remembering the times we shouldn’t have had

As I begin to leave, I’m confronted
All standing in front of me
Finding myself under fire
A bullet from each.

Dying in the times I could’ve had.

My eyes can’t keep from gazing at her
She steps into the room…dripping wet
Knowing I’m here, her parents would most likely be upset
As she would be also, if she found me here
Crouched in the dark…
Between her window and backyard
Her fingers play with her **** vanilla-coated skin
My fingers pretend to follow, not knowing where to begin
The pleasure erupts as soon her moans escape…
The contents of her inner thighs invade my mind…
(pant, pant)
The manner she caressed her body in a way no man could
The exotic thoughts of me fondling her no man should
(pant, pant, pant)
The shuffling of the branches I hid in started to make noise
Hopefully not loud enough to disturb the show, though
(pant, pant, pant, pant)
My eyes closed, envisioning me on her insides
My heart rate jumped sky high…

And at the sudden opening of my eyes…
She spotted me.

When I miss you, I miss too much
I miss who I am when I’m with you
I miss what you make me feel
I miss how loved I felt
How the feelings of love never went away
When I was with you

When I love you, I love you deeply
With the love only a mother loves with
The way a loved one loves another
The love that couldn’t be found anywhere else
The love I won’t allow you to never escape from
When I was with you

When I held you, I held you tightly
I held the fond memories we had
Tighter than the grip around your neck
When I expressed my love for you
Tighter than our passion filled nights
Of forcing myself inside of you
When I was with you

When I hit you, I hit hard
With the affection I’ve always had for you
As if the bruises on your face
Don’t remind you of me
And all the moments we shared
And every waking hour you live
You’ll never forget the times
When I was with you