Mirror, mirror

I hate this person staring back at me
This is not the person I used to be

I’m hating my reflection
I wish I could see perfection

Mirror, mirror

I hate applying my mask
Hiding my flaws with makeup has become an everyday task

I hate feeling so fake
I think I just might break

My mind in one place and my heart in another
How do I let this go when I still wonder
About you, about us, and where it all went wrong

Could it be fixed?
Am I wrong to still think like this?

I'm holding onto the good memories and blocking out the bad
You have a piece of my heart that I'll never get back

How can I hate you, but still love you?
I can't construe these emotions
I feel like I'm constantly battling myself in this commotion

I keep thinking you'll have a breakthrough
That we'll redo and start new
If only you knew how much I loved you

Drug free is the life I want to lead
Strong and healthy is the way I want to be
Never will I end up to be another druggie

I am above the influence

I don’t need drugs to have fun or to come undone
I don’t need toxins to fill my lungs
I don’t need drugs to fit in or to stay thin
I don’t need drugs to make my head spin

I am above the influence

Drug free is the path I want to take
Another morning I want to awake
Not live day by day making mistakes

**I am above the influence

My sister, my best friend, my other half

You’re the first person I come to when something is wrong
You always listen even if it takes so **** long

Whenever we fight I feel contrite
But no matter what we will always be alright

We always end up talking about the things that we miss
We talk for hours and reminisce

We are two but we stand as one
Without you I don’t know what I’d do
No one compares to you

I love you!

My sister, my best friend, my other half

I love you I really do, but sometimes it's just too hard
And I feel we won't make it through

You've said and done things that have hurt me to the core
You ignore my feelings because you've heard it all before

It seems we fell into a routine
Makeups and breakups
We're always right in between
This is getting so obscene

Tired of fighting over who's right or wrong
Different opinions that are too strong
Why can't we just get along?

I love you I really do, but sometimes it's just too hard
And I feel we won't make it through

These bad memories come and go
That happened long ago

But the pain remains the same
I can still feel the shame

Dad comes home and we all flee from the scene
Always following his same old routine

The fighting and yelling is all we can hear
Locked away and filled with fear

We’re crying out for help to get out of here
But it’s not too long before another bruise appears

We suffered for years and cried so many tears
So much hate has filled our ears

We taught ourselves from right and wrong
We learned from each others mistakes
With no guidance from our parents the decisions were ours to make

Dad got away and left us again
But mom gave in and let him back in

I don’t know if that’s something I can let go
Even though it happened long ago

I am lost as an adult
Lost as a person

I am lost in worry
Lost in thought

I am lost in advice
Lost in words

I am lost in this world
Lost in uncertainty

I am lost on my own
Lost all alone

I am lost in everyday life
Lost my direction

I am lost in a place I don’t know well
Lost my way home

I am lost in time
Lost my day

I am lost in boredom
Lost in my interest

I am lost in memories
Lost in my past

I am lost and everything is falling apart
Lost and it’s all my fault

These boys are all the same
All they do is wanna play childish games
Always saying things that are untrue
Just to get a chance to be with you

It won’t be too long before he calls you his girl
And makes you feel like you’re his world
But get ready for a swirl

Your feelings have deepen for him
But now he’s starting to play with your emotions
He says he wants to keep his options open

Before you know it he’s gone
Making you think you did something wrong
But all along it was he that led you on

These boys are all the same
All they do is wanna play childish games
Always saying things that are untrue
Just to get a chance to be with you

I’m watching everything so closely pass me by in just a blink of an eye
Before I know it a day, a week, a month, a year has gone by
I wish that was a lie

Knowing I’m going to pay the cost
When I have realized what I have lost

I just don’t get why I sit here and wait
I think I’m losing my faith

I can’t find my way
I wish I knew what path to take

I feel so alone and confused
I wish I could do the things I need to do
I just need to push aside my fears to make it through

I’m sick of pretending all the time, acting as if I’m fine
I wish someone would take the time to understand my mind

I wish someone would just listen and get to know the real me
Instead of going off by what they see, how much easier things would be

I’m sick of being called a stuck up *****, only because I’m not like you
You’d be like this if you had social anxiety too

No need for sympathy for I can already see
You judge too quickly so let me be

Don’t act as if you care as to what I have shared
No need to compare because that will get us nowhere

I look to the sky and wonder if you are there

Listening to my prayers of despairs

I’m so very tired of being on the fence

Dear lord, sometimes it just doesn’t make sense

I’m suppose to believe in something I cannot see

I wish you could give me a sign and convince me

Instead of leaving me with this uncertainty

But maybe I just need to wait more patiently

Who knows you might strangely suprise me

And end up guiding me along the way

I pray, please sway me somehow and someday

Sometimes I feel like I am alone
Sometimes I feel like I can’t go on
Sometimes I feel very fragile
Sometimes I feel like I am not strong enough
Sometimes I feel vulnerable
Sometimes I feel like nothing will ever change
Sometimes I feel like giving up
Sometimes I feel so lost
Sometimes I feel hopeless
Sometimes I feel like I can’t do anything right
Sometimes I feel nothing at all

As I lay my head on my pillow

I look outside my bedroom window

I see the slow falling snow

Gently drifting to the ground below

Covering the grass and trees

That once used to be so evergreen

Untouched and pristine

Making all that is different the same

What a beautiful scene it became

Take me back to the days
When I couldn’t wait to wake up

Take me back to the days
When my universe was around toys

Take me back to the days
When I didn’t care about boys

Take me back to the days
When I loved to play outside

Take me back to the days
When I loved to dance in the rain

Take me back to the days
When I couldn’t wait for winter to come

Take me back to the days
When school never felt like a chore

Take me back to the days
When I didn’t care how I looked or what I wore

Take me back to the days
When I had no worries

Take me back to the days
When the world seemed fair

Take me back to the days
When everyone appeared to be a friend

Take me back to the days
When I wasn’t shy or scared

Take me back to the days
When I was excited about the littlest things

Take me back to the days
When I knew who I was

Take me back to the days
When I knew what I wanted to be

Sleep eludes me yet again
My worries and mistakes are keeping me awake
All I do is ache anymore
For god sakes, give me a break

I feel like I have a ton of bricks on my shoulders
They weigh me down and leave me feeling much older

I wish things could come easily to me
Then I could finally be free,
Free from this misery that I carry daily

These words are trite, but there the only ones I know
I need to swallow my sorrows in order to grow
It’s time to move on, time to let go

The day you left I was so depressed
All I could do is reminisce on a time of happiness
Even though you were not here, somehow you felt near

I think of you all the time
And then I begin to cry
Knowing you’re not coming back
Oh, how I wish I could change that

I miss you more than words can express
I feel so empty like there’s a hole in my chest
Wishing there was something more that I could do
How could someone just take your soul and leave me so blue

This darkness never goes away
It follows me around everyday
I pray to god every night before I lay
And ask him to take my misery away

I’m so lost and I’m longing to be found
I’m screaming but there’s no sound
No one seems to care
They just give me blank stares

I’m tired of living in fear, I wish the light was near
Get me out of this atmosphere
And maybe things wouldn’t be so unclear
I don’t want to be here another year
I’m sick of all these tears, aren’t you my dear

This darkness never goes away
It follows me around everyday
I pray to god every night before I lay
And ask him to take my misery away

I need to escape
I want to get away from this place
Bury my head in my hands
And just let the tears fall from my face

I want to runaway
From everything and everyone
Leave without a trace
And never look back at this place

I can’t seem to move on no matter how hard I try

I just don’t want this to be goodbye

My heart feels bruised

I’m left broken and confused

I don’t know what to do

Memories run through my head

I can still remember everything you said

You left me feeling misled

I keep pouring my heart out to you

Thinking we’ll start new

But it doesn’t matter to you

There’s nothing more I can do

I can’t wait on you anymore

All you do is ignore

Leaving my heart so sore

So therefore I’m closing the door

Here I go again on this merry-go-round
Never knowing when it's going to stop
I feel like a spinning top
I used to find it so fun and exciting
But after falling off more than a few times it's not so inviting
It left me feeling dizzy and sick even though it ended so quick

I always stood up for you when people would decry

You made me believe you were different than most guys

How could I have been so stupid to believe in all your lies

You must of always been in disguise because I realized

I could never get past those beautiful brown eyes

After an outburst of cries and giving you a number of tries

You didn’t even have the decency to say goodbye

You have really became something I despise

I miss that little girl
That was so full of life

I miss that little girl
That had so many dreams

I miss that little girl
That never worried about a thing

I miss that little girl
That felt so alive

I miss that little girl
That believed in herself

I miss that little girl
That always tried her hardest

I miss that little girl
That was happy

I miss that little girl
That looked on the bright side

I miss that little girl
That had hope

I miss that little girl
That thought change was easy

I miss that little girl
That was fearless

I miss that little girl
That knew who she was

I miss that little girl
That little girl I used to be

My mind is all over the place
I don’t know what to do anymore
My life is such a bore
I long for something more

Tired of worrying all the time
I just want to unwind
I am sick of feeling so confined

My mind is all over the place
I don’t know what to do anymore
My life is such a bore
I long for something more

I see him on the streets
He never ever speaks
He looks so fragile and very weak

He comes from a broken home
Fighting and screaming is all he knows
Seperated parents and now all alone
He ran away from home, now he’s on his own
Scared and afraid, and the only way
To make it go away is to get ****** everyday

His days never change, they always remain the same
His drugs are the only thing that keep him tamed
He feels ashamed about the decisions he has made
But his parents are the ones he should blame
Love is all he needed and wanted to be sane

I see him on the streets
He never ever speaks
He looks so fragile and very weak

I look to the beautiful sky
The sky so bright and heavenly blue
It has a powerful effect on my mood

Clouds passing by
Birds flying high
I wish I could be soaring in the sky

Feeling the soothing breeze on my face
The light shining in my eyes
The warmth of sun makes me feel alive

I look to the beautiful sky
I feel hope
Like there’s something more in life
I want and need to live for

Should I leave or should I stay?
This question is on my mind everyday

The fear of losing everything just to restart really breaks my heart
Why did we build this is we were just going to fall apart?

I keep thinking you'll say let's try to get through this
Pull me in with a kiss and say I'm not someone you'd ever want to miss
But I get nothing, you're emotionless

What hurts the most is knowing you're okay while I'm left feeling gray
Two and a half years we threw away

Should I leave or should I stay?
I think it's time to walk away

These green eyes hide in disguise
Trying not to let out agonising cries

Tearing at the seams
Tired of hearing painful screams

The light feels so close
But yet this tunnel seems so long

I feel as if I am drifting away
I pray hopefully someday I find my way

I know you think I’m being mean
But trust me I know what it was like being a teen

I’m just trying to watch out for you
I don’t want people to take advantage of you

I know you want to grow up and leave
But that’s just you being naive

I don’t want you to regret not getting to be a kid
Cause that’s exactly what I did

I know you’re trying to fit in
But just try to be more comfortable in your own skin

Life’s not all about how you look and what you wear
Materialistic things will get you nowhere

I’m writing you this to show you how much I care
If you need me I’m always there, I swear

I want to meet the guy of my dreams
I want to fall in love
I want to be swept off my feet

I want to fall in love so hard
Let my guard down
I want to believe in love
And take my chances

I want to feel that rush
Running through my veins
I want to feel that touch
And not get enough

I want to meet the guy of my dreams
I want to fall in love
I want to be swept off my feet

I just want to feel
I need to feel alive

I just want to feel
I need to feel out of reach

I just want to feel
I need to feel loved

I just want to feel  
I need to feel something more

I just want to feel
I need to feel change

I just want to feel
I need to feel happiness

I just want to feel
I need to feel

I hate how I say today is the day
I will change but I never do
I am starting to believe I won’t ever make it through
I will remain the same

I don’t want to be awake
I’d rather sleep in
I don’t want to face my problems
That’s too much to take in

I am losing my grip
Everything slips right through my hands
When will the day come
When I say enough is enough
I will change and I will not remain the same

I will never be known

Feeling so alone

I am always on my own

Lost and scared

Wanting someone to care

But no ones there