I would have been a better person,
If I'd never met you.
A twisted element-
tinkering with my reason.
Sometimes I wish,
our paths didn't cross.
That led to a mistaken familiarity.

Hate would have done justice.
Ignorance did the most harm.
The hurt - changed the person.
Because it's the not knowing,
That keeps your pulse pounding!

Head hurts thinking of all the ways,
Things might have gone otherwise.
It's your own minds creation,
To the other all is but unknown.

What really happened?
What dawned?
How did I cease to exist
In your thoughts?
Was it fate or was I disillusioned ?

It's the ignorance -
that hurt the most.
It's the not knowing!
Your thoughts for me.
Did they never exist?
Why? When? How?
Stop ! Stop now!

Plenty scenarios I imagine,
I could be that person,
I never would have changed.
But do you ever think ,
Ignorance was a good solution?

What do you think?
It's the not knowing,
That destroys the calm and sense.
If only- a blank canvas of possibilities,
The hope that pulls my insides out.

I wish I had never met you.
If you'd always been the unknown,
A different person, I would have grown.
How would I be then?
It's the not knowing that kills!

Things that were,
Some still are,
Some were
and never to be,
Fading into existential dilemma.

I wish not to exist,
Not in your thoughts,
Never in your words,
Let me fade away,
Into the abyss.

Try not to remember me,
Never to be found -
I would have crossed .
Don't come find me -
No such labyrinth exists.

I wish you wouldn't cry,
Know happy and sad alike,
No emotions I seek,
For my physical form.
An Infinitesimal speck- Me,
An identity wouldn't exist.

I am a universe,
On my own,
To another I would retire.
Don't shatter yours,
for mine.
When I am gone.
When I am gone!!!

Fear shakes me as I look at this creature,
Staring at me through the darkness,
A grey smoke blurs my sight,
I mumble prayers like a preacher.

I shut my eyes, as does a pigeon,
It scrapes its claws, on the bare ground.
I peek through the slits of my eyelids,
Still there - now theres a legion!

I turn my back and run,
I can hear them chasing me,
Rustling through the dead of silence,
I stop, only to come undone!

Am I dead? I see a light.
I turn, I face them now.
The light lingers and I hold on,
Closer I walk, with all my might.

I see them. They see me.
My failures, my rage, my darkness.
The distance, the pessimism, the void.
Fears in their multitude existence.

Closer , closer, closer I get,
I fear the fears no more,
For they exist, as does the light,
Shining like an auroral net.

Catch them, bind them,
Then I set it free.
Now I bind me, within me.
And fill my heart with divine glee.

I see a monster now and then,
I see it for what it is,
I know it can be tamed to my will,
For there exists a light within.

My light shines brighter,
as the darkness grows.
The two exist coherently -
For what is, is!

Given just a moment to realize,

What cards I hold in my hand,

And decide the next possible move.

Every passing moment is a realization,

Same old play, same old game.

You never know,

You’ll be dealt the same again.

Time is a careful dealer.



King of diamonds by my side,

My dreams are full of hearts.

Although, it’s always been a card in the pack,

It’s awkward how my dreams pull it back.

You bring illusions to life,

With terrible tricks up your sleeve,

Time – you are no healer.



Not in this life, I believe,

I will see your charm again.

I wouldn’t ever win a hand like that,

Not my share of bargain.

I’ll come back in my next life,

Maybe, I’ll have some tricks by then.

Maybe, I’ll be dealt your cards then.

Same old play, same old game.

Only you’ll be on that other end.

Blaming time for being a sorcerer,

Time is the best dealer.

For once did the supreme forgive him,
Mercy was always the greatest will.

Suddenly, he became the child he once was,
and cuddled up to his father.
Evil existed no longer,
humbled by the greatest presence.

He thought of all the miseries he'd caused,
all the pain he'd given.
thought of it as the only vent,
to his own misery.

He wanted to fit in,
make mistakes and be forgiven.
For long he'd been denied that,
and nonacceptance turned to wrath.
He still envied his siblings,for he wanted to return.

Reminiscing old times he remembered,
he was happy and soulful once.
That day he decided he'd retire,
Be the good he always was.

For once and forever,
things were as they should be.
peace and quiet prevailed
Life sprung up again to its beauty.

I have had terrible days,
I only remember the good.
I have been mad at things,
I only remember being sane.
“Is something strangely wrong?”

I have been glum,
I only remember the sunshine.
**** has hit the fan too many times,
I only remember the calm.
“That can’t be true!”

Sunburns erased,
I only remember the warmth.
Storms have come and gone,
I only remember the unshaken faith.
“Is this for real?”

My heart has wept oceans,
I only remember the soft breeze on my face.
I have had scary thoughts,
I only remember the pleasant dreams.

If this is true, I sure am happy.
If this is real, I am content.
If you don’t believe me,
I am not asking you to.
Let me be,
I can never be you.