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There are 7 billion, 290 million people in this world and I want to believe I matter.
I know its a lie but prefer it to the alternative.
There are millions of student athletes and I want to believe I will go pro.
There are hundreds of millions of writers and I want to believe I will be the next Dickinson.
There are some 3 billion men in the world and I want to believe I'm going to be HER one and only love.
There are 7 billion, 290 million and 1 thousand people in this planet and I have the audacity to think I matter.
Inspired by watsky "tiny glowing screens"
 Feb 2015 BeAutiFul ConFuSion
M K
Fold, crease, unfold, repeat, turn over, fold, crease, unfold, repeat.
New sheet of paper, same thing, again and again and again
One chance, only one wish
One wish for a thousand paper cranes.
I make paper cranes when my anxiety or depression acts up. My plan is to make a thousand to give to a very close family member for his wedding. Hopefully I can meet that goal.
It was the way you carried yourself,
as if universes scratched at your shoulders
and the care you kept neatly inside
was killing you slowly.

I remember the words you spoke
as if they were poking, pressing
at your already bruised ribs;
as if they climbed up your throat
holding ice hooks and torches.

I buried them deep as they'd go
in the sweat-drenched sheets,
hoping you wouldn’t remember
or want  to search for them.

But one night I awoke
to an unfamiliar breeze,
those sheets untangled and draping
halfway out the open window.


I'm sorry I couldn't keep you safe.
Such luscious lips, with pinkish glow!
She's beautiful.

*
Her chapped lips,  faucet like,
cascade only words of kindness..
She's beautiful.

Such pretty,alluring eyes!
She's beautiful.

Her heavy-lidded eyes : a pair of lenses
capturing only great sharp shots,
they see clearly only the good in people..
They never despise.
She's beautiful.

Such a lovely, curvaceous figure!
She's beautiful.

Within the slim figure,  is a soul
who'll share her food with the hungry,
even if it means she'll be left with nothing
for dinner.
She's beautiful.

*
Beauty is only skin deep..
Inspired by a brief chat with a dear friend today and Audrey Hepburn's insights on beauty
'Look beyond the features, it is reflected in the soul..'
Cuts heal,
The memories stay,
Scars fade,
But i'm not okay.
You killed me softly in my sleep
Placed empty kisses on my eyes
You ate my heart
You gnawed my bones
Butchered me with silent lies
You planted roses in my chest
To bloom in honour of my death
I still feel the thorns dig in
Though I no longer draw a breath
I am a monument to pain
I am a temple to despair
Wholly still and ruinous
Forgotten love beyond repair
"From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity."
~~♡~~♥~~♡~~


"Hush little baby, don't you cry,
mama's here for you only
and tomorrow she will buy
all the pretty little ponies

black and brown
tan and roan
all the pretty little ponies"

lullaby sung by my mother
when I was a child



there I lay
at end of the day
safe in my mother's arms
she had a voice
so soft and low
I succumbed to its charms

I don't remember
her grey eyes
so full of care and pain
I recall her dear soft breast
and those sweet refrains

later on in life I found
she was very ill
mood swings plagued her
all her days
and then they had no pill.

she was not a
stable mom
she was always up or down
but she tried the best she could
when she was around

I won't forget her lilting voice
though she was in despair
she made those ponies
twirl and dance
to show her child

she cared.


soulsurvivor
2/7/2015
My mom has not been feeling well.
If you are of a mind,
please pray for her.

Thanks

~~♡~~♥~~♡~~
I'm locked in.
I'm scratching to get out,
No one can hear me.
No one can hear me shout.

I'm locked in,
In a three dimensional cell,
Where no one comes to visit.
No one comes to help.

I'm locked in
and only I can set me free,
You've got the invisible lock,
I've got the invisible key,

Im locked in
and only I can see,
If I want to get out,
I just have to be me.
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