Since you’re gone I’ve been dealing with the hurting
Happiness in my life, felt like I deserved it
Me and you was an item, I guess it wasn’t working
Drinking all these bottles, tryna bottle my emotions....
and I’m smoking

To calm down my nerves
Numb down the hurt
And I can’t find the words
To express
So I can write it in a verse
but just the thought of you makes the feeling feel worse

From trials and tribulations
Smiles are fabricated
Out of desperation
Im asking how can I make it?

Without you...

Cuz I’m so lost and gone
Tryna find another love but my heart is torn

So I grab a bottle and light up another spliff
Thinking suicidal, how can I live like this
Thinking bout your touch; how soft and warm
Then I think about your smile ******* it’s gone

Trapped in this madness,
This thing called love.
Addicted 2 the sadness
now my brains on drugs.
In the eyez of a savage,
tear stains turned blood
Now torn is my status,
**** the pain with the blunts &.....
Hennessy
Is the proper remedy
For dealing with misery
Killin it with the trees
Blowing it in the air
Wishin she still here
But life is not fair
She’s acting like she don’t care
I’m a man baby girl, we make mistakes
Sexing with other women but they can’t take ur place
Something brown between my fingers and a bottle in my other palm
Now she gone, and me I’m tryna move on
Wishing.... that she was still seeing me
Wondering..... what did she ever see in me?
Tell me love, please you owe me that
Now I’m sitting her with the **** and the cognac

So I got a blunt in my right hand
And I got this drink in my left hand
And I’m just
Drinking
Smoking
Drinking
Smoking
Tryna get you out my head
And it hurts me more when I see
That you’re happier without me
So I’m
Drinking
Smoking
Drinking
Smoking
Tryna get you out my head

I’m supposed to be strong for everyone including you. But whose supposed to be strong for me?
Guess I don’t need anyone’s help.
I cry but incognito, can’t allow anyone to see these tears.
I’ll wipe them away myself.

Push it to the back of my mind, all the way in the rear.
I’m afraid to share my emotions so I numb it all away, cage my depression, bury my fears.

Can’t trust anyone cuz one day they’ll be gone, they leave as they usually do, I tell myself I can’t be mad.
So sometimes I leave them before they leave me, Every man for himself right? I learned that from my dad.

My biological..... wherever he is in this reality
I’m on my own. A solitary mentality

The abnormal normality

2 all tha women I luv’d b4, am I destined 2 be lonely?
I loved each of y’all differently but whole heartily thinking that each of you were my one and only.

2 all tha women I luv’d before, do you miss me? Do you ever still think about us?
All the times we shared, our possible future or even how I’m doing at this moment without ur love.

2 all the women I luv’d before, do you forgive me for my mistakes or do you still hate me to your core?
Though I was in love with ur flaws no ones perfect, there’s alwayz 2 sides to every coin.

To all the women I luv’d before, I wish y’all nothing but prosperity, happiness and all.
And I pray and hope that you find a love that we once called ours

To all the women I loved before, thank you for molding me for my future wife that I still haven’t met.
For she will be the last women I give my heart to, until my daughter breaths her first breath.

Can anyone hear me?
No? Because I’m crying inside
Why does everyone fear me?
But in actuality I’m dying inside
My hearts holds a burden
Of trying to save everyone
I show strength but behind closed curtains
I bare weakness with no one to save me from

Does anyone hear me??
Can someone please answer me
My soul feels so weary
I’ve come to the state of panicking
I surround myself with people who don’t listen
but yet feel like I’m in isolation
Sometimes I feel like I’m in a prison
Though life is the one in violation

Is anyone there?

I feel like Imma side dude
I've never been put in this type of situation
I can't see you when I want to
and it's not because your schedules conflicted
It's because your restricted,
constricted with her suspicions
and it's not fair cuz she always gets to see you; a clear vision
but y’all not together..............

We can't go out together
cuz someone might see us and tell her
but why does that matter?
cuz y’all not together............

I can't come around your family and chill like I want to
and be around more cuz she might come thru.
But y’all not together..........

We can't talk on the phone sometimes and when we do sometimes you click on me
**** sometimes we can't even text and when we do it bothers her so you can't even send emojis.
But y’all not together........

And I swallow my pride because I wanna be with you
but I don't think you understand how I feel
I have super trust issues
And it ***** me up seeing y'all, like is this even real?
But then why am I tripping
if y’all not together......

What if one of my exes stayed with me, play fought, was jus always around me and slept in the same bed.
and I say “it's ok baby me and her, we're not together....”
You can't say it wouldn't mess with your head

And the thing that hurts the most is that I feel like you’re more considerate of her feelings than mine.
You rather not "get in trouble" or upset her and have my feelings in decline.
But y’all not together..

**** hurts. This Love hurts.
Y’all not together but in proximity are always close
We're together apparently but how can together feel so alone?
And the crazy thing about this whole ordeal is that all that hurt that I hide from you alwayz goes away when I see you or when
we're together.

I love you so much
And with all the things I said and how you make me feel.....
It makes me wonder if this is even real,
if you really, genuinely love me too. If you wanna be together
Or are you still in love with her and just not together?