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I am aware, I need to let go
That all we once were
Has flown out the window.

I know it has been long enough
How can you look so happy
And I look so rough

It is easy to see, just not accept..
Tears swell my eyes
I draw my breath

Your smile reflects my rotting insides
I try avoiding your gaze
As you walk on by

I can pretend to be just fine
Not putting myself out
To be left to dry

To the moon and back?
Forever and a day..
How can we be friends..
When you threw it all away?
Your hands, my Father, are what I need
To cleanse my heart, my spirit, my all
Take me, mold me, use me now
Fill this life I give to You
In Your name, I only bow
Hold me...
 Feb 2016 Babu kandula
ray
spit
 Feb 2016 Babu kandula
ray
nothing as reckless as a feigned indifference, reckless with a negative connotation- that is-
a pretended falseness and concealment of passion, obsession, a love….

inconsiderate of a universe’s ability to destruct, to ****** away any given scenario, to wipe clean the gravity between two souls, two minds, too much gambled. too large of a bet. high risk little return, no return.
none at all.

we bathe in sorrow hoping it lightens to laughter.
ashing cigarettes on our skin, dexterity
laziness in us all
leaving coffee black
leaving ashes paraphernalia of the love I burnt
with fists that turned cold, so cold, unclenched
a melancholy weeping for the sighs of metal breath.
an injection of remorse, what’s it quenching? what’s it worth?
what’s it asking? what’s it taking?
are we sinning? are we praying?
where’s the Dying end, where’s it stop,
tonic, what’d it tell you? did your analeptic 'screaming-to-the-ceiling' testify to the woes endured by a life on earth, a life lugged through, broken by its intricacies
we’re all on hands and knees
singing, sobbing, pleading, throbbing
it’s a beauty in the dead leaves, the Fallen I feel badly for, a reaching sympathy,
beyond what my hands express
we embody selfish bringings  
bursts of breath
balloons of noise of gasps of the lapse preceding death
is it hypocritical to enjoy the lack of closure, the abrupt ending, keeping bottles kept?
the myriad of leaving
the method to Drinking
heavy heaving
stumbling cross-legged through this party of contemplating Permanence, a greying breeding
i imagine a man heading a room ceasing noise not having to demand it no, rather whispering, whispering streams of thought of consciousness.... or the lack of it
on buzzing fragments of philosophy and rationale.....
or the lack of it*
the lack of a sounding foundation
the lack of a solid grounding of a planned pathway of a plan at all,
bottomless to the Bottom of the top of the
 Feb 2016 Babu kandula
r
Lady in a gray dress
calling this a wintry mix

A coastal low with rain and sleet

I reckon so, but it sure seems
like the winter blues to me.
 Feb 2016 Babu kandula
ryn
New Lease
 Feb 2016 Babu kandula
ryn
As we stood face to face...
Waist-deep in our insecurities,
the years...
Would continue to
revolve around us with nonchalance.
Soothing the wounds we had traded.

The universe...
Would envelope us.
Like cosmic balm.
Healing us...
Catalysing us,
into melding together.
So we'd emerge out of the fray
as a single entity.

An entity...
Oblivious to each other's imperfections.
An entity...
Capable of discarding past discrepancies.
An entity...
Granted a new lease.
An entity...
Worthy of another breath.
I don't believe in God.
I don't think there's an hell or heaven.
But i think there's something bigger than us.

I don't believe in destiny.
I don't believe we are made for something or for someone.
But i think that at some point we get what we deserve.

After all that pain he put me through,
I think i deserve him.
I deserve his love.

I think he's broken and afraid.
Actually i don't but i want to believe in this.
I do believe his deserve my love and my soul.

I want to believe than he hurt me now to love me harder soon.
But i can't believe in that.
I'm not a believer.
I don't have faith.
O.P
Today the sky is grey,
And your eyes are brown.

Tomorrow the sky will be blue,
But your eyes will still be brown.
O.P
On my bed, i eat small sugar hearts.
The window is opened, i can feel the wind blows in my back.
It's soft and relaxing.

Sat on my bed, i eat small sugar hearts
Small white heart, small pink heart.
I am in my underwears, i feel the heat of the sun on my body.

Laying on my bed, i eat small sugar hearts.
Old music play on my record.
The wind makes float my curtain above me.
It almost feel like summer time.

I eat small sugar hearts.
Small sugar hearts, pink as your lips, white as my soul.

I'm nostalgic of you.
O.P
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