most people see me as
a happy person because
i laugh easily,
i smile a lot,
i joke a lot.

but deep down
in my heart,
i am fragile,
i can get hurt easily,
but i choose to not
show it to the world.

instead of being sad,
i choose to laugh to cover it.
maybe you can call me
"the queen of the mask"

by this,
you can tell
that most of the time
when I'm laughing,
I'm not really laughing,
i was trying so hard to hide
my sadness.

please excuse my miscommunication
I didn't need it growing up
all I needed was the consistent dedication
to escape from where I was

please look past my fragile heart
it grew in place of the stone
I don't care about my emotionless art
by to lose the few hits solid bone

reprieve the foundation I can never find
stability was never my forté
I seek instead for a solid state of mind
or at least that's what I claim

forgive me for my transgressions
they were not meant in vain
I don't live up well to expectations
I only thinly mask their blame

We are in a state of war, my friend

The trees are turning red

My mind are soldiers preparing for death

Their families, distraught, words left unsaid.

I'm in a state of war, my friend

I cannot keep on fighting till the end

The creatures in my head play jumbled words;

Not a soldier in my genes,

It's my reflection commanding enemies

Prepare for death;

I have given up my home,

Unto heaven, my martyred self.