All beings are saprophilous.

If you believe this to be only true for that of fungus and flies,
you will cling forever to that which dies.

And if we could see,
this truth about of which we cling,
then truly, we could fully be free.

Often, on quiet days, I wade through forest paths to the outer most regions of town. Close to the brink of wilderness where the humming sounds of cars and popping noises of God knows what can still be observed. Yet, the pure land surrounding has been blessed to be untouched and unblemished. Here, I retreat. I circle the bend and climb a hill until I reach an isolated plateau of nature reserve. Where natural phenomenon rise and cease in incessant and lullabic oscillation. As if to unplug my mental cords and to store away my worry, fear, concepts and systems. I reach a haven of unity. Although I own no land for myself, out here I can't help but feel this lost land of paradise is fully mine. However, I would like to do away with the notion of possession and self and here I can get closer to doing so. As if I were a small, beautiful water droplet being plucked from that cruel water resistant surface and to glide gracefully back into an encompassing body of water where the temperature is the state of my mind. And on occasion I notice another solemn being, clearly human, stumbling down the same path I had managed to carve and from atop the raised plateau, I can watch them. They circle and turn back, but I can't help but wonder if they feel the same as I do. And sometimes I think to approach them slowly and calmly and inquire about philosophical concepts. But I wish not to disturb what is so beautifully held in the essence of the silent forest. I would wonder what knowledge or truths these men and women had attained during this life and if it were to resonate with my own. Or possibly to share. In the town and at the refill station I dare not to inquire about such trivial matters but instead I nod my head or note the weather. But I cannot help but imagine and sometimes even feel that there is something deep within us and the space and entities surrounding us that is ineffable and profound. Yet it seems that it is lost in the thicket of ideas, concepts, and biased reality just like the sunlight in a dense, cold, unlit forest. And I have convinced myself that if we could clear even enough of the baggage we carry as entrapped souls that we could create a more beautiful, serene, and harmonious state of unity and achieve transcendent heights of being right here and now.

You are my musical melody,
My love filled remedy.

But I sit quietly. Avoid the contemplating;
Eluding and evading, silently sedating.

Until the music breaks through.
That horrid moment of truth.

The moment where I finally say,
"I miss you."

But I could never sing a song so true.
To portray my love from me to you.
I just need to hear, feel, tell you once more.
"I miss you."

The pain has brought me to my knees.
Until something sounds and rejoice!
Could it be my musical melody of that precious voice?
One last time..

The sorrow has made me think of possibilities.
What lies beyond the process of growing from a seed
to an O so beautiful blooming tree. Could it be?
An encounter with a known and lost entity.

My hand out stretched -
Will the vibrations make it from me to you and back to me?
One last time..

The thought comes up but I am scared to face it.
Could I never think again and infinitely erase it?
Or should I embrace it?

A voice in my head tells me to push on through
and say those oh so meaningful words,
"I miss you."

Did I ever tell you that?

You are my musical melody,
My love filled remedy.

Until then I sit quietly.
Until the music breaks through
That beautiful moment of complete and utter truth.
The moment where I finally could say..

I miss you...