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Amanda Kay Burke May 2023
One day I'll be strong
Fly across the galaxy
Ride shooting stars in your eyes
To place we can be free

One day we will shed our former skins
Hearts forever intertwined
Then maybe you'd feel your worth
I'd feel love we before couldn't find

One day existing will not be hard
Soul not ever weary or forsaken
No longer will heartache linger in air
Every morning ardent spirit awakens

One day you will confront the shadows
Plaguing darkened mind
Towards the heavens you'll gravitate
Sin's embrace left behind

One day addiction will not imprison us
You will be in my arms where you belong
Hearts will finally be at peace
One day you will be strong

One day...

Someday...


WE will be stronger!
Written 11-1-18
Amanda Kay Burke May 2023
Don't understand why universe took you away
Bits of you seen in all surroundings in some sort of way
Anyone observing wouldn't notice something wrong
Crumbling under a surface that is strong
I attempt to hold head up high
Shrugging off wounding emotion
Repeating routine robotically
Earth's rotation slow-motion
I send deepest regrets with the wind to be lifted into the sky
Whispering words never said before
Worst of all:
"Goodbye"
Accepting absence as permanent obstruction
Leaves me teetering on edge of destruction
There are moments I wish ground would open up and swallow me whole
Touching not one drop of water yet I'm drowning in the depths of my soul
You always did best to protect me throughout the years
In return I have let you down
Victim of my greatest fears
It might not have been my responsibility to keep you safe and sound
I could have poured out some of those shots you would pound
It was my duty keeping your secrets locked up out of sight
Over and over again I told you no so you responded with a fight
Rather than be at odds I would give in to your spiteful remarks
You ultimately would win and I would fetch your bottle of Monarch
Now I'm haunted by those countless simple mistakes
Forced to bear weight of the fact I didn't have courage it takes
I want to rewind life so I could get another chance to show
That you mean much more to me than I dared to let you know
I'd rather be who's held in the reaper's embrace
Than stuck here tears running down my face
It's my birthday and I'm so not feeling it... How can I celebrate without the one person who made it so special every year?
Amanda Kay Burke May 2023
I get why you don't want to celebrate this year
Scared of turning 54 without the person you hold so dear
This pain may be fierce
Threatening to swallow whole
Closed eyes will not stop sadness from taking control
Life never will be perfect
Future
The present
Past
Open sight to beauty around
Though it never lasts
Time will not ever heal your heart
Will bleed a bit until you die
You will get stronger every day
Trust eventually your tears will dry
I fight large emotions underneath skin
Losing battles for the moment with the hope that one day I might win
Loss is heavier than any anchor ever weighing us down
So much sorrow written on face I see it without hearing one sound
I wish I could steal your greif and seal the abysmal hole
How can I when I can't even repair my own soul?
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2023
Should I hide complex emotions from you?
Pull out my heart to bleed on the floor
Promise me you'll keep it safe
Even if lacking qualities you are searching for

Feeling faint
I count imperfections
Sincerity leading my voice
One by one petals plucked proving patience
Each dripping with the stubbornness of my choice

With darkest intentions harbored
The silence sins subtly cast
Trust no words besides memories
Carry lessons from the past

I will not reach out for your hand
Close to an honest profession
Bite my lip in anticipation
Peeling off skins
Battling confessions

The planet quiet for a brief instant
Coming apart under gaze
Breathing in moisture from feelings shared
Love set on fire
Cloudy haze

In clutches of uncontrollable desire
Caught by attraction attempting to hide
Life ripping apart with ease
World determined to wholly divide

I must be foolishly enchanted
Have to break the spell
Breathing is raspy and ragged
Can feel my windpipe swell

It's up to you to save my soul
Chosen to make the call
Hate how you let me suffocate
You loathe my newly built wall

I'm afraid to show I am vulnerable
I put on a frigid act
Although needing you close to me
Never let you know that fact
It ***** feeling exposed
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2023
I never have been good at receiving compliments
Unwilling to overlook numerous cracks, scars, and dents
I liked myself once
Long long ago
Lot happened to slowly make self-esteem low
Now when peers tell me I'm pretty I assume it is a lie
I'm only growing older each day that passes by
Crying does not help but I can't stop the tears that fall
Most days can't stand my reflection at all
It is easier looking in the mirror when day is captured by night
Disguising dark blemishes all too clear in the light
I have a bad habit of not accepting compliments
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2023
I hate what I put my heart through every day
Memories replayed to keep darkness at bay
A wave of nostalgia shelters from life's storm
Brain and I huddle in an attempt to stay warm
Feelings fluctuating
Too cloudy to find clarity
In this place any portion of freedom is a rarity
When I was younger joy answered call so **** fast
Now that I am running in circles it's stuck in the past
To chase off demons set negative thoughts ablaze
Instead of fleeing the heat they frolic amidst the haze
Giving way to pieces
Smoldering thoughts that make me reminisce
No matter how I struggle I will never stop searching for bliss
  Apr 2023 Amanda Kay Burke
Zoe Mae
I died young
Ninety-nine at twenty-one
Knew somehow I had no chance
I couldn't march
I couldn't dance
I saw the game we have to play
And knew I'd never live that way
Turned promise into dynamite
Lit the fuse and held on tight
I realize I've been dead for years  
Only signs of life are pools of tears
Hollow inside where it counts
Remain restrained yet poised to pounce
And now I've dragged you to my grave
The one person I could have saved Instead I casted you away
Because I died young
Ninety-nine at twenty-one
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