Copenhagen is a movie that greatly parallels my relationship
Yet the more I saw them thrive the lonelier I felt
The lonelier I felt the more space I seemed to occupy in my bed

Near the last quarter of the movie there was a scene
That made me think to myself
"Effy is the only woman that can slap a man then make him dance"
And I took up more of my bed

Okay so you know those depressed teen quotes that are everywhere?
Stuff like:
"I spent way too much time thinking
about someone who didn't think about me."
Or
"I let you in and you destroyed me"

You know we make those, and support those because,
we don't know what else with our emotions and thoughts.

And when you look back on them,
after getting out of that phase in your life that now seems stupid.
You may find yourself ashamed that you ever supported or took part in
such things because they are so pointless.

But I personally also find it funny.

I find it funny because I was so desperate for someone to see me and say;
"Hey you are right to feel depressed and I'm here to feel sorry for you."
Then I started going to therapy and I went through something that seemed harder than everything else at the time.
I became kinda cold after that but then I was lucky enough to meet my Master, who is also my guardian angel.
(I know this may sound stupid but it's what we believe)
He cared enough about me from the start to tell me
when I was doing something wrong.

And now here I am.
I work towards something when I want it.
I pay attention to my health more, because I realized I needed to.
I now know that blunt honesty is 99.9% of the time what fixes things.
I know that I need to learn to balance things in my life,
and I'm still working on it.
But that's the thing I'm working on my problems now.

If you were to look into my heart
Or my mind
Or wherever it is emotions are harbored
You wouldn't find emotions just floating about
You'd find boxes of all types of material
Mainly cardboard but also boxes made of such things as steel
Or even dark mysterious matter that only exist in my mind
And those boxes are where my emotions reside
Where memories reside
Where very painful things reside

Things such as my childhood
Like raising myself because my parents were too high to get out of bed
And raising my sister from the age of 7 for the same reasons
Then living with my dying grandfather, whom I loved as a Father

I know these things because all boxes have labels in my world
And I could tell you these things without feeling anything
I can do this because to me they're just facts written on boxes

That's all I had to share