The desert,
A sea of sand, drought and dry air under a scorching, blazing Sun,
The wind may feel alike a cut, which burns through your senses,
Relentless, the heat takes over by day, yet by night it is cold enough to freeze you if you come unprepared. Such would be a foolish idea,
A dessert of thoughts, driving into my brain, leaving ideas uncovered
Leaving productivity hidden, under the sand of hatred and self doubt
Such places, landscapes, covered by firy silicate or ice are truly lethal,
Such state of mind, covered by uncertainty is truly lethal, for ones wonderful creativity, for art of all kind, conveyed or material, if you might wander through such a land without any guide to help out,
Worry not, for after every drought comes rain, blissful rain to fertilise the soil of thoughts which will blossom in wonderous ways, to shine,
After all, motion without movement cannot be possible so try to move
A wise friend once tought me, that if you give it enough time, even a nigh impossibility becomes a certainty, even a desert could be a forest
But until then, be patient my dear, even the most deserted place, carries some beauty in it, no ?

~ Umi

I found my pleasure in writing poems.
But technology has tought me how to type.
But today i have decided to go back to my old roots.
I write this in pain,
Tryibg to wipe away all the opressions that is behind technology.
I just want to vanish into the channel of my thoughts.
Mybe i might come back happy once again.

I miss our nights,
Bad nights,
Before
Good nights,
Good times,
After the bad ones,
Good ****,
Before...
After...
The worst ones.

You found me,
Tought me,
Showed me,
How to roll it.

You were a good teacher,
You made me listen,
You were a good listener,
You made me talk.

You jocked,
I laughed,
You complained,
I cried.

You missef,
You loved,
You cared,
So did and do I.

Can't imagine my life with out you, am sitting here at the lake, staring at you face reflection on the water. Your face is everywhere, the happy, smiley, sad, mad and the happy face again face.

You helped me explore my self, you changed me a lot, i met myself right after i met you, no one ever told me how smart i am, even if am not very smart, but at least you said it, and i felt it for the first time.

You tought me how to fight, how to go through **** by my self, you didn't say that, but i learned it from your actions and your view of life.

You always smiled, even when you get really mad, you started the fight and ended, you started the conversation and kept it, you started me and you killed me.

Its been three days, two nights, 72 hours is the total. I'M still awake, didn't blink, am not tired tho, just enjoying the time while am watching a tape of you with all the moments crossing in front of my eyes.

Thank you for everything you'd done,
Thank you for all the encouragement words,
Thank you for finding my real personality,
Thank you for giving me the best moments,
Thank you for all the info. Doses you put in me,
Thank you for being there when no one was,
Thank you for listening to my boredom talks,
Thank you for making me feel like human,
Thank you for EVERYTHING, yes everything.

I have a lot to say, from the deepest part of my heart, but my i can't see nothing, my tears are covering the view. I was thankful for having you, waking up on your texts, maybe calls, but the most feeling your love while your sleeping on my shoulder.

Don't know what else to say, I'M IN LOVE WITH EVERY litters in your name, with every moment i hear your voice, whit every time i see your texts or emails, with every sec I have you in mind.

I don't care what you'd done, its all good, i already forget about it, you do whatever you want, its all good, fight and yell at me, its all good, HATE me, its all good, **** me, hurt me, insult me, **** me, do whatever you want, its all good. They all were like the heaven, i just knew that.

Ok, am done, words are killing me.
Ok, am done, you're too amazing to be written about.
Ok, am done,  I'm serious this time.

I just realized that i had the world between my hands, you loved me like no one else did, you really cared about me.
Excuse my JEALOUSY, it covered most of the view.
Excuse my EARS, i couldn't hear you talking to another guy.
Excuse my heart, made me too stupid to understand.

I just couldn't believe that am having a life after all these years. I thought it's a dream, but i was okay with that, i didn't want to wake up, and i lost you after the pomp that woke me up.

I just understood what you were saying,,,,,,
"Too good too bad" she says.

I LOVE YOU Melanie,
I LOVE YOU,
I ADORE YOU,Melanie
I ADORE YOU
YOU STILL MY EVERYTHING, and the only thing that i prayed every time to keep, but to bad, i didn't get that.


Diab,,,,,,,,,,,

thankfully Hamlet is taken to a couch,
that's hardly a sick-bed,
for we all know: psychiatry is half
of medicine, it breeds more ill men than it claim
to have cured.
and there be that thing, that shadow,
that resemblance of a man,
stalking the highlands, and drinking
at the Lochs...
until there are three,
under a street lamp with due walk,
and a brick wall near,
                         a man and two shadows,
one more full than the latter more fog,
    and the sudden thrill, as if being followed
by one's own unsuspecting guise...
           usurper strong, a Judas in a Judea...
asp tongue, wasp thought,
doubly piercing the status quo of today...
as said, by only a single word,
macbeth, macbeth, macbeth,
into the night, shrill of violins, shark-infested
airs of a witch's shrill cry at the black sabbath
around the fireplace...
    macbeth, macbeth: said: deep frozen
into the night...
   to a neared upon usher of equivalent tear...
avaunt! and quit my sight! let the earth hide thee!
(and hades resurrect thee!)...
   against all that encompasses the noun zeus:
and fathering wisdom for care to lose repeated
cohorts of the titans sun, moon, gaia...
  aye, and a bold one, that dare
          look on that which might appeal to the devil;
have you no care to not flog to these
past expressions, reading them,
as reading our modern undermining into
things of origami consort?
             folded, folded once more,
a piece of paper is a metaphor,
that blooms into the end result of it being
treated as metaphor... a piece of paper
given the status of metaphor, later becomes
   a paper-folded swan, and origami swan...
  that icon of monogamy...
           or how swans like to see it:
in sickness and in health, beyond death do us part...
ever look at a widow swan and not feel
a pang of hope to be given the altar of death
upon the crucifix mound?
        just a little bit?
who may i rather challenge for unkindness,
than pity for mischance! -
        can one man's love affair be as short
as another man's play,
given the chemistry suggest that the man spent
the four seasons in the stated place of concern?
had i been invited to Erasmus Denmark,
my sparrow would have sung differently...
to a less Celtish drum of heart...
             and the man in question would
remain as curriculum material for a midsummer's
night, and romeo and juliet and shylock...
         here, we keep promises...
  just here... every time i read a philosophy book
of deep under-sea thinkers,
   i am the quasi-acuatic animal, a sly
mammal of the seas, a whale, a dolphin...
  every time i read a philosophy book,
and subsequently re-enter shakespeare...
i am that same old mammal keeping his breath,
to surge back toward the heavens of a sea-level
atmosphere...
                   i say: contend with reading philosophy
books to then reread your choice of shakespeare:
for me, nothing beyond macbeth...
    thus said: learn, to live again...
          as i have done on countless opportunities...
   i can not prescribe a most perfected dichotomy...
  oh sonnet so pale, oh other works so well preserved
that they encourage memory dementia
with a workload of pristine recitations...
     just a chance encounter, when psychiatrists
faded with Hamlet, that Macbeth arose from
the ashes and said: i stand as a sword firm in hand,
and i will not reach the safety of
   lounging in gleba...
                  to merely be a dead entertainer of
some obscure theory...
                     and with every instance
upon seeing the **** thing,
   my eye be blunt, and my tongue be sharpened....
likewise in reverse, concerning the same thing:
my eye be sharpened, but my tongue be blunt...
of these two essences, man first thought...
    and had only thought provided man with
a simple yes, or a simple no, wouldn't
the point of thought be more than if not less
bewildering than arguing from its own existence,
an existence of a god?
        not man, devoid of god crafted this deformity
to later impregnate an icon with...
       but man too bewildered by thinking,
that spawned this horror...
       of thought, thus said, no moral grounding,
but merely the numbing, the selective numbing
of the senses, as ailing man suggests,
the ailing via hearing,
   the hedonism feats suggesting exploration
of seeing...
   of feeling numbed, and apathy creeds to experience
as many people as possible...
   thought mediates the sensual-numbing we
all see... and none of thought, is concerned
with being injected into a moral theory,
since thinking is too simple, and a lie a too great
opportunity to be mislead into mis-use...
  for a simple yes and no - the theta-ought...
would not have spurned the phi-nought
    and if the senses are not duped,
then what story are we to be told?
            that might provide a throng, and an opulence
of a campfire for it to be tought?
to the last syllable of recorded time, said Macbeth.

First we build bridges
With Lego bricks
In primary colours
And we move on
To build bridges
From  words
With tought
In many languages
Because we have to
And we build bridges
In steel and concrete
Between islands and peninsulas
Between us and them
We prioritise bridges
With our money
On our money
To showcase magnificence
And to replace expired glories
And we cross bridges
In real life and cyberspace
To seek community
In alternate relations
Outside the confines
Of Hans Christian Andersen’s  quiet pond.

Do you remember when you said you cared?
Because I do
Do you remember when you kissed me for the first time?
How nothing else in the world mattered!
Because I do
Do you remember saying you haven't felt this way in so long
I hadn't either!
Do you remember telling me I'm amazing
And I said no I'm not!
Do you remember that feeling?
Because I do!
Do you remember holding hands as you were driving?
Did you get all hot and sweety?
Because mine did!
Do you remember the feeling of me in your arms?
One thing I'll never forget how amazingly comfortable I felt!
Do you remember how I asked you to never let go?
And you said I wish I didn't have to! 
Do you remember me now?
Do you remember all the small things?
Because I can't forget them
Do you remember how they made you feel?
I do they made me feel like a million bucks!
Do you remember laying under the stars with me?
And making a wish
Do you remember the feeling of being with me?
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Because I do I remember ever single memory
That's all it is now is a distant memory of what use to be
I wouldn't change it for the world cause you tought me alot in a few short weeks.
You tought me to be me no matter what and don't hold anything back.
You also tought me what true happiness feels like
What it's like to be wanted
From the bottom of my heart thank you dear friend

there was a little bear he lived in the wood
he was well behaved and always very good
always used his manners just as he was tought
and for every body he always had a thought.

one day in the woods as he was passing by
suddenly from no where he heard a little cry
he moved a little closer so he could hear the pitch
there he saw an hedgehog who had fallen in a ditch

he was very sad and he began to cry
followed by a sniffle and a great big sigh
dont worry said the bear i know what to
i will get a branch and hand it down to you

bear he got the branch from a fallen tree
handed it to hedgehog to climb up and be free
hedgehog he got out to the forest floor
happy once again he was free once more

hedgehog thanked the bear and went along his way
now there the best of friends bear had saved the day.

i miss you ironizing my princess side
you've capched me by your bad side
and that way you had me at my best and my worst
oh honey, i've seen your worst and i loved it
you are lonely as the night and brighter as the day
i could never leave you alone in any way
nothing capts me as you do
and you've shown me my heavenly side
you say i'm a sweet girl
yet you know i'm heavier than heavenly
you met me in a nomadic and complicated time and darling you loved me like that
i still remember everything about you
your passion for teather and your mad side
yet you were an iconic soul begging for love even when you didn't show that
you were bad, the badder boy i've ever met
you didn't fall in love -if you did fall in love- with my pretty face but my broke personality

now you don't give a **** about me  
and you have me even in a sad mood
still yours
forever yours
and i dont wanna leave
never leave
because i have such a big affection for you
but even knowing this
you left

so fast as the speed of sound
and so tought like a stone
and even like that
i am still into you
forever and ever
waiting
for you

'Tata Madiba'
Father of the Nation,
Today you could have been 97 years,
but your journey of life was cut so short,
21 years years of democracy is what we will all remember you with,
Nelson Mandela,
the great fighter,
you tought us to love and be in unity,
your works we shall remember,
may your dear soul rest in peace forever,
while we still hold on to 67 minutes of Madiba day,
showing our love and care for our great nation as much as you did,
we love you Tata,
we honour your legacy,
together we still can because of your great dids,
'Halala Madiba Halala!!'

Never forget your four legged friend
Those days you thought would never end
He followed you where ever you went
Happy times those years you spent.

When he was young and crafty at times
Often a shoe was hard to find
Looking under tables and chairs
No shoe was there or anywhere.

His puppy days just faded away
He settled down and he would obey
Then it clicked when he saw the need
To follow you without a lead.

There were times when you felt down
He looked at you with your saddened frown
He then sat down there by your side
Looking at you with his glaring eyes.

And then there were those holidays
The Sandy beach were you all played
You threw him a ball or maybe a stick
And tought him all those amazing tricks.

Looking back at all those years you had
Some were happy and some were sad
Those real good times you will never regret
A loving friend you will never forget.

But years  they come and years they go
Spring summer autumn and winter snow
And now you are filled with memories
That time it came for your friend to leave.

the look in your eyes,
it haunts me at times,
and the time you lied.

oh, that kills me every time,
and how I saw you from then on,
you **** me every time.

your laughter echoes, reverberates.

the sound is hypnotic, dizzying,
the sound kills me every time.

the haunting eyes that shatter my soul,
and stalk my heart when I close my eyes.

the eyes of the only person,
who could hurt me as deep,
who could literally **** me,
inside and out, rip me apart.

you know who you are.
and you know what you caused,
because you’ve done it a million times,
it’s what you do, it’s what you’ve done,
it’s how you break our hearts.

it’s how the pain stays,
and how the light fades,
from our eyes as you say goodbye…
that last final time.

and we never want to see your face again,
because the act of perfidiousness,
stung so deep, and throughly,
we never forget.

we are sagacious, now.
your eyes tought us the lesson.

we will never trust in eyes,
what should be felt with hearts,
and we will be skeptical,
once again, of the truth.

you brought us pain, agony.
now, your eyes are forgotten,
and our eyes are open.

and we are healing.
we are seeing with new eyes,
the world of possibility.

and we are awaiting the chance,
to live life again, as ourselves.

we are ready to let the walls down.
we are ready to survive,
we are ready to love again.

but, we do it cautiously,
because when we hear a line,
we see your eyes in our mind,
and we remember the time you said the same.

we laugh and say no thanks,
because your eyes are in our mind.

goodbye to the tear stained memories.
now they can be archived as
lessons that we learned.

and we can look into the eyes of our true love one day.
and we will see,
that you lead us here.

now.
goodbyes, can be healthy.


xoxo

I found you looking at me
and tought wow what a beautiful sight
You came up to me and said I found you.
I wondered why you said 'ifound you'
Then you told me years later*
I found you looking at me
and said wow
You told me you found a bestfriend
someone to tell everything and share everything
You found a crazy Girl with microbraids and
a tatto that said I love Blue
You looked at me and said I do too
we started being friends and then besties
i told you everything and so did you
when i left you would txt me and sayi miss you,
I love you, when are you coming back,
Things been differnt for so long
I came back and you said I found you
You fund a Girl with long stright weave in her head with a white polo
and said Wow is that you
Thats me
your bestfriend you found 3years ago

All can be lost when nations divide
It can lead to the loss of this thing called faith
We take a chance on staying alive
But it all could end in a world of hate.
When seeing people living on the street
Arms reaching out with empty plates
Struggling each day to make ends meet
Where the poverty net decides there fate.
And then we see the rich and the famous
They are making it big and living a dream
Even those dreams can often be aimless
For fame and fortune is not what it seems.
Our minds can turn to empty thoughts
And dought it seems are the seeds we sow
We often ignore what religion has tought
Saying tell us just how do we know.?
Dought creeps in our minds once more
Making our hopes to lose its flow
Now there's no goal to be aiming for
And their is no place for us to go

Do you remember
The first time we kissed?
It was like I couldn't breathe anything
But the smell of your skin.
You were, are, will be
Every poetic sentiment
That I ever need.
I don't know how to live,
If not with you,
I'm scared shitless
Now that I have to,
But 3,377 miles
Can't stop me from loving you
More than  
All the daisies under the sun
And all the bubbles in the sea
I love you more than lightning storms
And every leaf on every tree
You are the sun, moon and stars
The very air that I breathe.
Distancing myself won't help
Because I had to choke down
An imperfect goodbye
No words in any language
Exist to say what I need
You echo in my existence
Every time I laugh, kiss, cry or bleed
And no physical distance
Changes that first kiss
Or touch, or love.
When I'm lost
Ill remember your lips
That tought me how to miss you
I kissed you goodbye
But nothing near final
Because together
Ill settle for nothing less than forever
Before long you'll be seeing me
I'm scared as hell but
I'm still on my feet
Step by step
Moment by moment
Breath by breath
We will learn
How to be.

Moments like this, waiting outside without keys or someone to open up the door for me, get me down.
It's not the waiting, is realizing no one cares about you being outside.
Moments when doubt makes you wonder whether your friends are true, get me down.
The Moment that I found out my father has been ill, also got me down beacuse I couldn't be there to take care of him.
The moment I didn't get the job I wished for, got me so down, I actually tought about not working at all.
The moment I realized I never chase my deepest dreams because I'm afraid to fail, got me freaking down too.
The moment I realized that I could, eventually, be left alone in the world, not only got me down, but also scared me to death.
But the moment it occured to me that I might never find true love, got me down the most.

Then there are moments when I feel so amazingly high, that I think I'm the luckiest girl in the whole wide world, and for just that moment everything is right.

I guess it's because of those moments that life is worth living for.

Old friend and familar demon can I offer you a drink?

Watch the fire fade in winters decay and **** all hope filled tought's.

Does the fall find you empty as my jaded soul?



Another round ?

Will you stay to see me erase all that used to be who does stand's befor you now?

Will you vanish like friends who get a glimpse of the dark that is masked in light?

So many questions to many vacant thoughts and a fires crackle is it cold being on the outside

most all your life.



A homeless sense and a stranger in every crowd.

You served me well but times coming for us to part.

This road i can't take you as so many times befor.



Empty bottle and erased reason im a driffter in endless times of nothing true.

Maybe this time i'll rid myself of the misery ive often so embraced.

Old dog's seldom run far unless to keep you from a death's view.



Sometime's you just cant pull it togather anymore.



Headlights give a view ive called life for far to long

Im tired  but always no matter how far I run

I cant escape you.



I drink one last and toast the emptyness ive become

A spark although bright must always fade.

Life but a season and time a slow count to sure end.



It seems this time the jokes on me.

Are we tought thoughts and ideas
or is our mind blind and free
do we just think about what we see
or can we look inside and bring new thoughts to reality
beliefs are the minds glasses
they're there to clarify
and without them our minds are dry
it can only think what it hears
and do what others say
without our minds we cant be saved
so without beliefs you are nothing
but your minds slave.

The first ever dream you had
He was the superhero in it who saved the world

He has always the been the critic
at the same time, a secret admirer

He has allowed you to fall on the ground
but he tought you a lesson to get up and learn

He has always been a strict army man of the house
With whom you would share your feelings less
But when he threw his ears to listen to you,
he even beats mom in understanding you better

Very often you wonder, that
he doesn't care for you
he doesn't love you as much as mom does
But, he was busy in giving you the bright future

He is like the Banyan tree for the family
who strives life long to give shelter to his family

He is the best ever teacher
best ever guide
best ever support system

He is the foundation of your life
Without him you wouldn't exist

He is the first ever superman for a son
the first ever love for a daughter

He is the best creation of God
He is the 'FATHER'

i looked at the mirror and i see nothing important,
i just see me ,thats it ,thats all i see,
im NOT important,!!!!
i dont see nothing special on me,
every one have something good,
i dont,
they got good phones,beats,tablets,ipads,iphones,
i dont,,,,,,
that dosent make me different tought,does it?
no cuz material is not important!!!
maybe if i get an iphone ill be important,
they be laghing at me cuz i dont got one,
whats the difference tough?
im a human,im a person,
now i look at the mirror and i see my reflection,
wich it reflects a stong person a person who have a lot show,
if you dont wanna see that person then dont do it but thats all it matter

Why do we leave the womb?
Why
Why do we go astray into depths unknown,Only to come back with a diffrent understanding
Of what you already knew
And isolate ourselves if all we seek is company
It is the knowledge the wind wispers just out of reach
So we misinterpret it all but ask yourself
If a theory is tought in an institution
Does it make it any truer?
Truth should be defined individually by what the heart feels
Not by the ideals of your peers
So the real question is 
 What do i find true?
Does one ever find the purpose in there existence
Or do wift like leaves in the wind
In a way we're all like waves
Taking of in a burst of fury
But as soon as we reach the shallows we fall
And crash against each other,
The only shure outcome is that we'll return from where we came
And all that remains is the calm.

Early Morning Thought's Haunt Agian,
How Are You Feeling,
1-10
A Little Bit Sick,
****,
There's No Medicine,
Nor Cure,
Fears Lethal,
Injecting Placebo Needles,
In Inncoent People,
All Authority & Other Men,
I Thought We Were Equal,
Trust Is An Illusion,
Goverment Loves Evil,
They Real Bad With The Flag,
Grabbin That Egeal,
Enough Is What I've Had,
Were Not Trash,
Stop Back Stabbin The People,
Honestly We Don't Wanna Be,
Mondern Way Slaves
Souls Precious So Smegal,,
These Days Display Slaughtering Sequals,
Sippin From The Tip Of The Last Cup,
Where Did My Tea Go,
Won't Mask Up,
No Disquise ,
Meet My Eyes,
When It's Time To Fly,
Remember The Stare ,
Tremmbling Glare,
Intriging Guy,
Are You Feeling Okay,
No, I Thought So,
Let Me Know , Why,
Were Similar A Alike,
We Wanna Feel Okay,
Secure , Safe,
Make It Threw The Night,
I've Been In The Dark So Long
House Lights Aint Bright,
Dim From The Grim,
Face Shakes ,
Hey My Chin,
Skin Ripping Like My Shins In Condition ,
Cold Winds,
Myster Told,
I've Been Alone , Aching Bones,
Blistering Blizzard Snow,
Lets Take A Flight Tonight To Rome,
After My Show,
Just To Show Our Pretty Eyes,
What's Possible,
Plottin On Forgottin Fuel,
Ew Obsticales, Lot's Of Those,
The Way I Spit Real ****,
Gets Me Lots of Hoes,
I Don't Attend To Their Hunger Needs,
They Don't Give Affection,
They Beg For Things,
I'm Making Cheese,
My Own Kind,
Spazzing All The Time,
Cracked My Spine,
If Acid In Your Back Is A Myth,
Then Why When It Pops,
I'm Lost High As ****,
3rd Eye Pirate Fist,
Twitch Iron Fish,
My Life Is Twister In Winter Midst,
Tree's That Breathe Release Of Sin,
Chosen One 3rd Son,
13 Candles Lit,
Black Robes,
Back Rodes,
Phantom Sits,
That Rope,
666 Notes,
333 Oaths,
A Cat, Candle Black,
Blood Bath & A Ghost,
Letter Inside A Sweater ,
Mr. Cap Crow,
Train Tracks Split,
Deep ****,
Holding On To This
All I Hear Is Hiss,
I Wanna Get Lost In Zen ,
But Cant Sit For 10 Mins,
HyperAware,
Sniperlike Stare,
No Money , You Hungry , No Problem
I'll Share,
Don't Sleep In The Street,
Heres A Bed With Clean Sheets,
You Can Lay There
I'm Hurt So I Care,
Home Is Somethin I Don't Know,
Where,
Majority Of My Life,
Especially At Night,
I Am There,
Feeling Satan Sensations,
Shaking ,
Hard To Bear,
Empty All Alone,
I Am Scared
Becoming Stone,
All Knowing Tones ,
Ringing Like A Phone,
Intuion Avatar,
Answers In My Bones,
Today I Crawled Out Of My Bed,
Listening To All My Guilt,
That Built Stuilts InSide My Head,
Tought Walking Tall,
I'm Walking Small,
Don't Wanna Walk Again,
Need To Hurry Put This Gun Down,
And Throw These Blades Out,
Hey Now Hold On ,
Somebodys Walking In,
I Hung A Sign Please Knock,
Humans Forgot What They Meant,
I've Been Actiavting With Hatred I Hate It,
I Save And I Cave In,
Immortal Pact,
Time Cant Earase It,
Steady With The Pen,
I Bleed For A Hug My Mother,
uggh I Cant Take It,
I Swallow My Spit, Stand Up , Sit Try To Shake It,
Little Me, Literally Be Sizziling Like Some Backon,
Real Skills Have Taken,
Channelin Awaken,
Time Don't Exist,
Scars On My Wrist Inscist It's Mine For The Taking,
I Spread My Shreaded Wings,
And Reach For A Mystery,
Question For My Creator
List Of Things,
Are You Missing Me Like I Miss My Mom,
Grandma My Life Is Missing Things,
I Need You Both To Hold Me Close,
I Love You, Uggh I Know Yall Know,
Our History Is Pain & Mold,
I'm At Fault
Wont Let It Go,
Forgive My Self,
That's A No,
You Stayed And Prayed ,
Amazed You Both Didn't Let Me Go,
My Mother And Grandma Are Real Angels,
Incredible,
Stings When I Feel The Rush,
Cant Go Back In Time To Redo Things,
I ****** It Up,
Compromising
Darkness Rising,
I Got Real Tales,
That Can Make You Shiver,
Buckle Up, Grab Your Liver,
Hair Sliver,
What I Got Is By The River,
What I Feel And Felt,
Cannot BeA Erased,
I'm A Ghost Living In A Humans Race,
Passing Threw With A Very Netrual Face,
I Don't Wanna Be Alone,
Girl Stay,
Not So I Can Feel Your Love,
Just So You Can Feel The Space,
A Terrifying Void,
I Cant Avoid,
Been Dealing With My Demons,
Since Cleanin My Toys,
Young As Hell Just A Boy,
Everday I'm Ageging Decaying Making Noise,
In The Mirror Trancing Threw My Flesh Feautures,
How Come Death Becomes Our Best Teachers,
Yall Got Friends And ***,
Hot Shots And Bleachers,
I  Got Ghost Rabbies ,
Mold ,
Cold And Reapers ,
Distrught Fist Got Heaters,
I've Pist Off Preachers,
Aliance Giant ,
Invisible Creatures,
Thoughts Prjoecting Vibes,
That Change The Out Side,
Brain Changes With In Single Minute 100 Times,
I'm In It Till Finish,
Then I Diminish ,
My Physical Immage,
4th Dimenision,
Duality
Miracles, Fatailty
Pay Attention,
Darkest Night,
Lightest Day,
Balanced Out Talent Ouch, Legend Ways,
I Cant Be Saved,
I Recieved A Letter From Amaru  ,A Congradulate,
Your Still Going This Long ,
Have Yet To Suffocate,
It Takes Strong One To Reach This Date,
Espically When Your Hungry ,
And Ran Out Of Plates,
Or Food And Passion Fruit,
And Truth To Face,
Thoughts Rain All Day,
When The Sun Turns Black ,
Ill Be Back , To Have Your Back,
Mom, Grandma You Are Heaven,
It's 11 Tip My Hat,
You Gave Me Something Long Enough,
I'm Not Strong Enough To Give It Back, Rough,
Hard To Fathom Or Get That,
I Understand, I Stand Under Where Ever You Sit At,
Ima Demon With Demons,
No Sick Act,
****** Rose,
Thick Pact,
Living Like I'm Blind,
My Mind Likes Living In The Past,
Not Me Though,
Ya See Yo,
I'm Encyrpted Scripted With Evol,
Love From Me Is Urgently,
I Love To Strong For Way To Long,
Emergency ,
Oblibvous Pyro,
I'm Burning Things,
Savage With That Black Magik,
Turing Rings,
Listen To That Sermin Sing,
Not Again,
Heaven Will Not Let Him In,
I've Completely Burned My Wings
Pople Who Are Close To Me Are Pure Loving And Searching Dreams,
I'm The Monster Hurting Non Deservingly,
Purgtory Orders Me,
Accordingly,
Never Ending,
Hell Bending
Immortal Surgery,
I Turn To The Leak In Me,
That Gold Freuquency,
That Tried To Speak & Teach Me Things,
I Went Off On My Own Path,
Made My Own Relgion My Own Craft,
Consuquences Exist I Admit ,
I Own That,
I've Tooken,
This Farther Than A Drone Can,
Spirtual Teachers Cant Believe Thier Eyes
I'm Living Proof
I am Who Is Due To Die,
I See With With Middle Perception,
Human Eyes Do Lie,
I Hold Ages Of Prophecy,
Which Obviously Takes A Life Time,
Really Listen, Peep My Tight rymes,
Cause The Right Line You Can Realte To,
Perhaps Could Save You,
Ive Made You A Life Line,

To think back to the glory days is all that's left to do.
To curl up in a ball of stress and remember what's left of you, the day I found you calling me I was to late to save,
the loss of being late  will haunt me to my grave..
The look of distance in the death that's when I think I knew... It's time to grasp a life alone and finally get a clue,
You tought me much and loved me like no other.. You were my dad I had no mother.
So now I see a bit of happiness although I'm filled with doubt and crappiness I bite my tounge and close my eyes and see a life of hope,
just to realize I'm finally living hanging from this rope. R.I.P

She's turning 84 soon.
I don't remember exactly the last time I saw her but I think it was at the funeral.
Death weighs heavy on hearts that love,
And she had become weak.
You could see it.
See it in her eyes when she cried.
You could see it in her hands.
Oh her hands.
As weird as it may be, her hands were the first thing that I remember about her.
She wore bands around every finger, like the rings of a tree truck when love has aged into something less adoring.
Yes she was a widow but she was the Queen.
Being too young for school, my sister and I went to her house every week.
And like clockwork she repeated every move she had done the day before and the one before that.
I remember how much she loved to knit and crochet.
I told her that I wanted to learn and she told me "good for you. You'll see it is very relaxing. Doing the same things, you don't really think about what you're doing anymore"
I crochet whenever I have the time and I now know what she meant.
Most times then not, I seem to day dream; thinking, about anything.
I remember her collection of books and newspapers, the bibles that she kept by her chair.
Of course they weren't of my interest but because they were to her, she would always be reading this one book.
Even when she fell asleep, she could not put the book down.
She had told me that she read it 4 times and she planed to do it again.
It was called "Julie of the Wolves"
I bought this book a few years ago and I still can't find it interesting.
It sits on my shelf, untouched, but unforgotten.
She is a babysitter, and a mother as well as a grandmother.
Family and friends were always over at her house, company was always welcome.
She had many kids, and her kids had many grandkids.
Her friends that came over so often had kids that had kids and it took me a while to realize it but,
She was old.
She is old.
She is a family tree that has grown bigger than most because of the love she spreads.
She tought me things without even realizing it.
I learned how too make the perfect peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
There wasn't too much of either and she always cut the sand which in half to help my sister and I know the good of sharing.
Almost like herself,
She wasn't too strick or too nurturing, she treated everyone equally and did nothing but that.
Its been 8 years.
Her daughter passed away, I'm still not exactly sure how or why.
It was the only funural I was ever invited to, and I cried.
I cried when I saw how hurt she was, how hurt everyone was.
I didn't understand death until that day.
I looked at Tanya's body and I realized why she was hiden under a sheet.
Its been 8 yeas since I have seen her.
I follow her on Facebook, the only way I can keep an update on her.
Death weighs heavy on hearts that love, and she has become weak.
She is fragile and old, I know this.
Its because I was just invited to her 84th surprise birthday party that I was bombarded with memories of her.
This woman has changed my life, not just by being her, for giving birth to amazing people, for introducing me the people that I know as friends today.
Her name is Charlotte, she likes to repeat things over and over again.
Sooner or later you don't even start to think about it anymore.
You just day dream, and think,
about anything.

It's nothing more than a word to some
It can bring back memories thought to be lost
A simple home
A small dog..
But safety to me lies within a person.
Entwined in their eyes and embedded in their being
When most people think safety, they think of something normal.
But for me,
Safety is him.
Gone with my fears and my regrets
Gone with my nightmares that terrorised me for months on end.
Safety is him and the tought of one day finally being in his arms
Even for a moment...

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I­ have tought myself to morse
So I can speak in codes when you won't listen
Because I you did not endorse
So clearly us it isn't