They've had to go.
I know, they couldn't stay here with me
I know, they had to go.
I remember being children, and my friend Aidan, he said,
"Of course we'll be friends til we're dead."
Must have been somewhat true, cause when we parted a part of me died.
And since I've had a hole form inside.
And now that I've tried to slowly fill in the gaps with all of you.
I've noticed I can't do it, it's not about what I do.
It's been about the connections I've gained and collected,
the type of connection that's strong on both ends and perspectives.
And from my point of view I'm still here and all alone.
Never thought I'd lose until it was gone.
Sometimes I just want to hurry to the end,
as if erasing myself will make my wrongs perfect again.
I saw you leaving and you didn't look back,
I've wanted to ask, but I've known why you're so sad.
With you I will dance all of your pain away, away from here.
Until we're no longer black and broken, but together and clear.
So I'll just tap my over there,
and wave my arms somewhere.
If I dance with enough passion then I might just fly.
Cause we all got to live for something,
even if it's one thing,
as they, "the limit is above the sky"
Just how much can we sob today until our sadness runs out or consumes us all.
I admit pride may be mixed all in my make up,
I know that it won't change us,
But I know if I try to bridge my heart out that I will fall.
Would catch me, would you save me.
Show me all the better ways to live this life and to be.
I have not that much to give, but I'll give it all.
Will I ever be free from my depressive cage?
And before I am how much will my soul age?
Cause already I feel a century old,
How much can there really be ahead of me,
is there any depths more in the ocean of sadness that I must see.
Will any warmth ahead make me forget this cold?
Know that I will never forget you.
Know that I will never forget you.
Please show me another sign again,
that you would be with here until the end.
I know our shared mentality won't let us get this close.
And what if I told you that wouldn't bend the rules.
We can do this without being young fools.
Remember our love is not a drug so we can't overdose.
But yet we're so different,
but should that make a difference?
We're same enough to relate to things that keep us awake.
And no not so much the pain that I feel,
but the things that show us smiles we can be proud to reveal.
So let us smile together for life's sake.
Let's just smile on for life's sake
The feelings I hold for you, are held back by the ways you feel.
But maybe as time goes on, what's better will soon be real.
I could go on about how your words entertain my drive to live.
To be by your side and with you so much more, there's few that I wouldn't give.
You hold me down, you call me out but you shelter me from the storm of my life.
You've taken me to some greater wisdom, such wit sharper than the knife.
You're view relates and still you widen the way I continue to see.
So maybe if I could stick here with you you'll come around and want more me.
This love I can't define, I don't even know how sure.
But what I know is that I love you now and there'll be always more
Raised from parents meant for me to be a good boy,
then found out how to take this life and play it like a toy.
Seeing both the heads and the tails, been so sure and been the second guessing.
Found how to curse another who also taught me the way to count my blessings.
There's only truly the good, bad, and fake.
Looking from the starting point of being clean and being baked.
Been fake for too long now I got to choose,
I've been in all the sizes and the brands of shoes.
Life's a bitch, but should I own it?
Should I swallow my pride or overflow it.
Felt like heaven, gone through hell,
Have known the people that now probably sell.
Woke up today righteous, fell asleep worse.
Started counting up my blessings then only stopped to find a curse.
Should of chosen for good right now, why's it so hard?
By this time I've went all night, eyes feeling scarred.
Tired but I won't stop, my heart won't let me.
My mind saying, "get to sleep" cause that's all I need
I only meant to take a nap when I started to dream you.
And I was happy so I guess I decided to make it last just as I would do.
Now it's midnight and I'm feeling like the bizarre noises outside are a sign.
I've woken up to the wrong reality, and probably the wrong state of mind.
Seeing you seems to be the only way you're eager to know that I'm alive.
And no matter what I guess I'll leave it up to fate again cause I'm tired to have I've tried.
Maybe I don't want to know if this feeling goes both ways,
maybe I'm used to having known that I'd hoped you would stay.
And still I ask myself this lie,
"If you knew you had a choice would you try?"
Cause now I'm left out of the loop,
but you keep following me online so tell me why I feel stooped.
Maybe I'm just too depressed to think of why,
or that if you knew you had a choice would you try?
Part 3 http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1776771/dear-b/
Outside I look at trees,
I wonder what happened to all of the green I knew.
Look what mother nature's style has come to.
Browns like the dirt it'll rot to.
Reds like a blood of her changing veins.
Yellows like little suns it'll miss soon.
What if all the leaves had their own names.
Would we grow fond or grow indifferent all the same?
Diaries full of memories that differ from what's current.
All made to make the present last, just to preserve it.
Crawling back like you,
nostalgic of all the things we used to have time to do.
Skies white and blue,
just like us, just changing and forever new