The hazy static of a head rush
Radiating from forehead to kneecaps


I miss us.

Only
the
lonely

hear
silent
screams.

soul tearing
mind bleeding
heart soaring
love.

and suddenly sobs
held my body
rocked me back and forth
in the way
you never will
again

I can’t decide if
knowing the truth hurts more
than staying in the dark
because not knowing means
I will always
hope too much
and knowing means
I will never
hope again.

That’s not the point, though.
I might be too good for her.
I might deserve better.
I might finally get closure.
But you don’t understand.
I don’t care.
I don’t care.
I don’t care.
There is just so much hurt.

i wouldn't say i'm
"catching feels"
because i caught them
captured them
pounced on them
a good while ago.

i wouldn't say i'm
"heartbroken"
because i have been
heartshattered
heartcrushed
for a good while.

in us history
we are learning about
the civil war
and nearly every class
i am forced to hear
your name
Georgia
had one of the largest
slave populations
in the united states
so nearly every class
my heart
like sherman's neckties
is wrenched out and
twisted beyond repair

keep her waiting
she keeps me waiting

i'll keep her waiting

fifty seconds
twenty minutes
one hour

she'll keep me waiting

fifty hours
twenty days
one year

hold onto your
berets
fedoras
sombreros
beanies
because youre in for
a tsunami of
angry
scared
hurt
love poems.

The way she smiles as she walks,
The way she jokes when she talks.
The serious expression her face takes on,
The way her eyes are never drawn.
The feeling when she hugs me to her chest,
And all my problems go to rest.
The nickname that she gave to me,
Always spoken so playfully.
The slight wrinkles on her forehead,
From life's problems that she was too early exposed.
This is the girl that I love,
A fighter,
A survivor,
A warrior.
Though we will never be together,
My love for her will never falter.

we were going to get married
on the beach
barefoot
in the dead of winter
partly because we loved
the cold salty air
partly because we wanted
to defy the norms
we certainly did.

Do you ever just
realize your friends are fake
catch feels for your ex
let emotions drown you
give yourself a stick-and-poke
hold in tears for months
cry a tsunami
restrict food and then binge nonstop
want to be loved
need a cuddle
feel so unbearably lonely
wish someone understood?