Zaynub

Apr 2014

Carla Michelle

And there may be no easy
way to tell you
that you're a *******
mess.
You're everywhere
though
it seems like you're
absence in space.
And,
if we're being blunt,
then make it known
that you're like
a storm that has taken
my home.
Though here we are,
we just lay.
Pulling my hoodie
above the brain.
And with the time,
you gave me to ponder
I made it known that
I was merely the
cloud
that has been dying to find
my own little sky,
inside of the storm,
she ignited.
**But, you're still a ******* mess.
And I can't stand
not being able to
not stand you.

Apr 2014

Marie Christine

4 am

4 am is not for the happy
It is not for the fulfilled
It is not for couples sleeping soundly in each others arms
4am is for the lonely, awake in emptiness and the feeling of never being good enough
It is for the desire to be perfect
And to love and be loved in return
4am is for the poets spilling out their blood and thoughts on paper
Giving life to the words they did not have the courage to speak
4am is for the brokenhearted who spill tears that come to no end, a waste
And are wasted on missing someone who doesn't miss them
4am is for those with a smile on their faces but sadness in their eyes and hearts when they are cut their demons bleed out
4am is not for the happy or fulfilled or the couples sleeping soundly in each others arms
4am is for people like me.

#depression #sadness #sleep #crying #tear #night #help #no #more #years #4am

Zaynub Apr 2014

legos again

I am a tower of Legos

as much as you can break me
you can always put me back together again

but sometimes,
it's hard to tell
if I'm broken
and I'm building myself back up
again
Or
if I've built myself so high up
that I'm just waiting to collapse
again

go on, go and try and build the highest lego tower possible. go ahead and do it right now. that success and that failure is a metaphor for life's ups and downs.

#sad #depression #hope #happy #good #struggle #recovery #relapse #toy #lego

Zaynub Apr 2014

i loved sadness too much

the simple truth
of my youth:

i loved sadness
adored its madness

i abhorred its distance
abused its existence

until it developed resistance
and trapped me
with its persistence

i admired it
simply because
it never left me.

#sad #depression #depressed #suicidal

Zaynub Apr 2014

I haven’t been in love

I haven’t been in love**

I can’t tell you
what it feels like
to have been through
the brightest hue
of your loving pike

But what I can tell you
is how I fell in love
with sadness;
like a dove
reveling in the loss
of her wings-
pure madness.

I can tell you how
it left me broken
with a single vow
softly spoken;
a plea for death
to bring me
my final breath

i flirt with depression too much and the truth is i should be labeled as known to fall in love with it.

#love #sad #depressed #suicidal

Zaynub Apr 2014

tick tock

5 pm
I want comfort

6 pm
I found misery instead.

7 pm
I want to slit my throat,

8 pm
I think I've lost my head.

9 pm
I seek destruction,

10 pm
Please put me on my deathbed.

11 pm
I only breathe,

12 pm
You might as well consider me dead.

one day I timed myself and watched how bad I felt as night came and the hours went by.

#poem #poetry #sad #depressed #sleep #dead #crying #insomnia #suicidal #timelapse