I hate being here
I hate my family
I hate my parents
I hate how they always get drunk and **** every weekend
I hate that I always have to hear it or even walk in
I hate that I get hit and yelled at for no reason
I hate that I'm alive
-I just want to die

Say my name
Say it gently
Use your words
To caress me
Speak your thoughts
Speak them out loud
Confess your love
Amidst the crowd
Scream your wishes
Scream your dreams
Make your reality
Better than it seems
Whisper your pain
Whisper your fears
Release the tension
Wipe away your tears
Open your mind
Open up wide
Let my love in
Let me inside

It's been a year
since I saw you
die

since I slept rest-
lessly, my forehead pressed
against your
hospital bed

Night after night
your struggling
breath and
the beep beep beep of
your monitors

It's been a year spent
licking my wounds
in hopes that they
would heal,
like people say that
time will do

It's been a year
since I saw you
die
and, my
love,

I still can't
live without
you.

A father rocks his newborn to sleep. He can hear the child sleeping soundly against his heart beat. He falls asleep thinking of his unborn  son crying out:

"Daddy!", he cries.
"Stay, Daddy please!" he whimpers.
"Stay for mommy, don't go with your 'family'!" he cries, felling his saddened mother's heartbeat.
"Mommy needs help, we need help," he screams as silently as he can "we need a provider!".

  As he lay asleep in his mother's womb, he can feel the sadness in her heart, see his father walking towards the door and hear them arguing day by day.

"Mommy's sad, she can't do it alone!" he begs.
"Don't take your keys, Don't take your bags"
Please don't leave, We need you to stay! he pleads.
Please stop fighting, It's not good for me!" he cries.

The father reawakens with tears in his eyes knowing that he almost left and never looked back.

can't get you out of my head
please take me back to your bed
you're in my heart and that's where it hurts
i can still smell you on all of my shirts
i don't listen to any of our favorite bands
and i set fire to my hands
because they could touch you in places my words could not
like your ribcage where your lungs are set to rot
from all the smoke we inhaled that night
i looked over at you and my chest felt tight
but now i'm there and you're here
and i swear to god i can still hear you in my ear
"i love you so
please don't go
please don't go"

I remember,
When the sun kissed the moon
On our first date.
We were shackled
By our romantic stares.

I remember when you stood
Down the aisle
Waiting for my warm embrace.

I remember when I cried
You consoled my breaking heart,

I remember the call
That told me you were not alright.

I remember you being taken
By the glowing angels
That wanted to be selfish.

I remember being blind by
Fury and alcohol

I remember being drunk
I remember the cliff
I remember the pain
I remember you meeting me
At the big white door.