You are the first
And the last thing
On my mind
Each and every day
And or the rest of my life to come

I surrounded myself
in the walls
of her
heart

and suffocated

I find it hard to write of the light,
darkness has set its roots into me,
I want to write of the light,
but the stain, the shadow haunts me.

The problem is this: my words do not come at will,
only at the beckoning of fierce emotions,
my joy is forever diminished by pain,
all light is shadowed,
dulled, made useless.

I know I am not the only sufferer of this affliction...
yet that offers little consolidation
to one who loves the light, but belongs to the darkness.

warm blood from wounds, it pours
to stain the floor in blending red
a fragrant pool where my sins reflect
flow endless to painful seconds passing
slow, i whispered prayers to a cross
though faith is lost.
falling paralyzed i closed my eyes
drawn to the luring
tunnel light


here below where all journies end
the ****** extend their reach skywards
to touch the unreachable  paradise
chained and hopeless - as angels
cast stones from above,
i payed the last price
two silvers for the ferryman that sails
through the plains of despair
where my soul shall forever drift
seeking for its rest

The time for change has come I guess
This time I will get it right ..

That's the same **** I said last week , and the week , before that..

When will this change arrive
That they all talk about ?

I am
The words you dare not speak out loud  
I am
The crushed bones that have been resown
I am
The oceans that crash within your eyes
I am
The fire that burns those
Who come too close
I am
Fierce
I am
A lover
I am
A warrior
I am
Free
I am
A fighter
I am
A survivor
I am
Learning from my past
Living my present
And looking to my future
I am
Confident
I am
Beautiful


I am not
Easily broken
I am not
A victim
I am not
Scared of the unknown
I am not
Wary of change
I am not
Dependent on anyone
I am not
Afraid of loss

But...
I
Am
Brave


.