Never been this sad before,
but i do miss you more than ever.

You supposed to be here with me,
bearing with all the problems
which might come in life.

You supposed to be my hero,
but now you're gone.
you live way far up there with the angels.
Or, oh,
i am pretty sure you are one of those angels.
You are my invisible hero.
You protect me from those enemies who's trying to fail me.
You are my angelic invisible hero.

i might not be able to see your gentle smile,
to feel your supportive hugs,
to hear your crystal clear voice when you sing,
or to get annoyed by your scold
every time i do something wrong.

But, i know you are around.
Looking at me in every steps of my life.
supporting me to keep on going in life,
no matter how hard it could ever get.

God loves you that much
that He wants you to be with him up above.
To keep eyes peeled over me,
so I won't get distracted in choosing my way,
since He loves me that much, as well.

The consequences that i have to bear
has never been easy.
To lose you,
F O R E V E R.
and it hurts to remember that
i got zero percentage to have you back here
to the world.

These might sound wrong,
or even selfish.

Well, again, i told myself ;
The heaven needs you more,
that the earth has to let you go.

It seems hard to convince myself that
this is not a temporary feeling,
yet a Permanent situation
that would never change.

i could cry a river for you,
but i know it won't bring me anywhere.
Then, out of my blue soul in a moment,
A gentle voice spoke to me,
Telling me that i'm going somewhere.
the voice said i got all the hope.
It encouraged me so much,
that i'm sure He is bringing me somewhere.

I may not be able to see you ; as the real you,
Instead, I shall be with a man
who can give me that important figure
which i truly need.
That man would be my best friend,
my mentor, my superhero,
he will be the reason behind all my smiles,
he will always make me laugh til' i gasped for some air,
he will never fail to bring me closer to God,
he will protects me like an overprotective brother,
he will shed all the tears of disappointments,
and help me to figure out the positive sides of life.
He will show me that i'm going somewhere,
with him and God as my companions.
and,
he will always be my eternal prince.

Those are the reasons why i keep on smiling,
because i have faith.
Faith in waiting to see
how all these promises would transform into reality.

I'm preparing myself to be a better one
whom you're gonna need (and love). Since i'm not yet around,
i believe God is also preparing
you really well for me.
Till' we're good and ready enough
to be each others' last.
At the right time
which He has planned for us long ago.
So, take care, love. ❤

But the thing is,
what if im not the best one for him?
What if she is?
What if even behind all
the bad sides she has,
she still is the best one for him?
What if.

What If i can do better?
What If he doesnt care?
What If he still loves the flaws and ***** within her?

What If i let him go,
And let myself tear apart?
But darling,
What If i buried and never love again?

I really can't break
his strong love for her.

Because my heart knows
how it feels to be broken.