my heart feels empty
because he moved on
from the feelings he had for me;
and these are feelings i keep to myself
hoping one day, i won’t have to imagine what we could’ve been.
hoping one day i won’t have to pretend about my happiness for him.
hoping one day, i stop longing for someone that doesn’t belong to me.
i can’t stand
all the do’s and dont’s
of your unfair judgments
i need to learn
from my mistakes too
When I say
that you are my Sun,
I don’t mean that you are
Or even the center of my universe.
I simply mean that
I cannot look at you
every time i laugh
i quickly look over at you
hoping you’d fall for my laugh
as fast as i fell for yours
I tried to hide how much it hurts.
But the pain crept up my throat.
I tried to hide how much it hurts,
tried to hide it from the world;
but the instant I turned the **** to my own chamber,
I couldn’t hold back the pain any longer.
You are the book I hold in one hand,
And on the other, a highlighter.
I remember how we were told to
only mark down the important parts with the neon colours;
I need more than this one pen of neon pigment to highlight these pages,
Because your entire being is the most important thing in my life.
maybe you once asked me:
"how are you?"
did you really mean it?
was it ever a genuine curiosity
was it just a meaningless question to avoid the oddity
of inane awkward silences?
it was just an appropriate thing for you to say at the moment
and it led me on to think
that you'll be there for me when i need it.
but at the end,
you were never
the next time you ask me:
"how are you?"
and i say:
and if you genuinely cared at all,
would you have noticed the silent screams in my eyes
that hold back the tears saying
i need you?
This is dedicated to a friend who once told me that she questions if her friends are genuine enough to be there for her when she needs them. Because honestly, I can relate.