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xtine Apr 2019
my chest is a black hole that takes the air I breath from my lungs,
quickly imploding in on itself.
the molecules of my cells wanted to get out of this black pit of anxiousness, but the gravity was too strong to escape
the overwhelming matter

my heart is a jackhammer that palpitates adrenaline-filled blood through the highways of my vessels,
as if one wrong turn would cause the vehicles of blood cells to collide with the walls of my arteries and veins 'til it ruptures.

my mind is a tornado formed by the hot and cold air of
worst-case-scenarios that ***** in whatever is left from the village of my sanity, leaving behind destruction and remnants of mental strain.

my muscles are ropes in a game of tug-of-war between opposing teams of stress and anxiety that tenses up the fibers of my being, causing burns across the length of back and leaving me unable to move,
until the only thing left it can do
is reach a breaking point that creates tassels of exhaustion

Oh, God. Please give me rest.
Self-expectations and pressures are exhausting my strength. Also, it’s exam season so the overwhelming amount information leaves me frozen and not knowing what to do.
xtine Apr 2019
how sad is it that
false promises and false expectations
are what i expect to come
This isn't necessarily for a dating scenario. This also applies to all the friends who I wish would consider my feelings too.
xtine Apr 2019
why do i keep longing for your presence
when you've only been gone for a day?
please hurry back
.
.
.
.
i miss you
He's gone for a few weeks, but I really miss him here.
xtine Apr 2019
if you actually
reciprocated
my love
for you
xtine Apr 2019
my mind
tells me to finish what i’ve started

but my body
doesn’t do a thing
Here’s to people who procrastinate during exam season.
xtine Apr 2019
how straightforward can you be?
it intrigues me to see how your confidence
replaces your fear of taking risks

the complete opposite
of my cautious being,
stopping at every intersection
wishing to avoid every single hazard
There are times when I wish I wasn’t so afraid of what the world has to offer.
  Apr 2019 xtine
Alex
I don't like talking to you
Because I'm scared I'll be awkward
And make you hate me

I don't look at you in the halls
Because I'm scared you'll look back
And my chest will fall

I avoid texting back
Because I'm scared I'll send some dumb text
I'll regret later on

I look to my feet
Not because I'm scared of you,
But I'm scared of the hate

I'm a coward, afraid of the people in the world
Their judgment, their problems, their lives
I'm scared that if I love someone
I'll destroy them as much as I am

I promise you, I don't hate you
I'm not trying to avoid you
I'm just terrified
Of loving you.
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