happiness...is everything. Happiness isnt based on money and sometimes not even on what you're doing. Its about who your with.
its about living with no regrets
And realising that a bad thing will last a few months, so who cares if he doesnt ask you out? who cares what your parents catch doing with the one who does? and who cares what anyone says about you.
Happiness is taking a risk
and it pays off
and even if it doesnt
another oppurtunity presents itself.
happiness is staying up all night with your frends.
happiness is water fights on late summer evenings.
happiness is love....lust only gives moments of happiness to the fact you cant believe you have that person...love leaves you eternally in wonder of how you ended up feeling so right.
happiness is being with your friends and wearing crazy *** hats in public
happiness is seeing a familiar face in nevr ending sea of lies.
happiness is no homework
happiness is having tickle fights with the one you love
happiness is lying in the sun looking at the clouds
happiness is doing wat you want to do
happiness is helping one another
happiness if giving all of you no matter how much you recieve in return
happiness is being able to speak your mind
happiness is knowing you have earnt all the praise you get and being able to say thank you...not going red, studying your shoelaces and bringing yourself down
happiness is confidence
happiness is working hard for something
happiness is being wateva you want and not caring what anyone says...you only get to live once..you will nevr live it down if you're on your deathbed and you realise that you've spent your whole life being what everyone else wanted you to be. living a lie
happiness is finding out who you are
happiness is coming home and your parents ask you how your day was...evn if u jst grunt back
happiness is singing in the shower as loud as you can...i mean showers hav that magical power that means no-one else can hear you...rite?
happiness is not being afraid to say someone is hot...it makes u all giggly...saying someone is good looking doesnt neccessarily mean you want them
happiness is feeling safe
happiness is feeling wanted
happiness is feeling at peace with yourself
happiness is feeling that someone always has your back
happiness is when something isnt funny..but your so happy to see someone that u cant stop smiling
happiness is that one thing you can nevr really express to someone...its like a drug, it makes you do crazy things...its make you feel ontop of the world.
this made me happy knowing that peopl will read this and feel happy
it made me happy because i made a good attempt to describe something that can nevr be completely decribed.

happiness is the one thing that keeps you going when you're like the single flowers whose colours hav turned to shades of grey

i cant explain this happiness

I will be here through the night,
Until the moon sinks, seeking rest beneath a cool dark shade,
The life which grows from light, is slumbering tight under a wonderful cover, the flowers have closed, awaiting another day,
But I cannot rest, for time has become endless for me, I can't set.
Why is it now that no one will hear my call, reflected in moonlight,
Why is it now that I feel so alive, even though I'm already long dead ?
First days, then months and finally years, pass, fall one by one, only a dim memory remains, what's left is a given; knowledge, of course.
Longing for the meaning of life, the fate was already determined,
Chains which bind me to make me carry on with my mission,
In a distorted dark sound melts into silence, losing it's colour,
Darkness in life and death carried by a curse of greed made me fear the coming day, sunlight, it burns, it hurts, I'll nevr be blessed by it,
The taste of blood on my fangs, sorrowful but also filled with hope, make me remember what it must be like to be a human, to be normal,
Even this scattered instant of a moment possesses unshakable love,
Ablaze, drawn out here in this holy world undear the nightsky,
Unable to advance or return, is there sense to believe in the future?
To face the dark clouds is the golden rule, so I don't give up,
This endless battle always was so meaningless, I forgot how it started,
The meaning of life...even it it remains unknown for me, like you it must exist and is that not very beautiful in its very own way ?
Darling, if I should perish by the morninglight, sing me a lullaby!
A lullaby for a vampire

~ Umi

i nevr thought dat i could have a ******
the lips r as soft as velvet
like a kitty
pur bitchezs purr

Nevr thought
Nights would
Be filled
With constant pain
Scissors in my
Hands

I cannot win
I am destroyed.
Built back up
Then recked again like a stack of bricks.
I am suffering.
Can you tell?
I know you see it.
My mood shifting hour  to hour.
Dont ask me if im okay.
I nevr asked for you to pretend like you care.
Dont ask me what i want to do
Because honestly
I wanna  run far away.
Dont treat me like i matter
We both know i dont
you've  shown me that
I am suffering.
Is it  that hard to see?
I write  to ease my mind
But it ends  up ignighting flames.
I have a storm in my heart.
Anger due to loneliness.
Whats wrong with  me?
Why doesnt anyone love me
(Or if  they  do, tell me)
???
Tell me why the **** i am this way.
Why is  everyone  happy but me.
I want change
That's  not over my horizon,  is it?
Why am i always alone.
Alone is a captive audience.
Listening to my disparity   just to matter
To someone.
My tears run  dry.
Then  streak down
Because they  were forgotten.
What if i told you there  was no tomorrow for me.
*** someone help this kid.
Because suicidal thoughts are the telling point of need for help.
Are you ******* kidding me?!?!
You should know i need help from the day you notice bruises.
Not  by the day i say i want to end it all.

Mom told me she'd  be there till the end.
But the day she found out her son had severe depression,
It was like she left him completely.
I wish she could see im gone already.
Her little boy,
Her little Zachary
Has died.
The day she overlooked dad's aggression, i was left motherless.
Her son needs help.
I need help.
So i write.
And you read.
The process we've  done so many times before.
Forgive me,
Im struggling.
I know you see it.
*so,
Whats next

When i was small ,i nevr wanted nythng,
          bt nly crave for love
But as i grew up,everything change ,
        I crave fohh my want not fohh love,
And i m running in race,
     is dis law of nature or a changing attitude as i m growing up ....

“nevr again,” she said,
And she couldn’t even
Ever ******* ever spell
“Never.”
So I never dropped a tear on that one.
Never.
Ever.
And we never spoke again,
And life was technically never the same;
-With all romantic abnormalities
And social angst aside-
It improved, as friends came home
And new love peaked on the horizon,
And the beauty of a bachelor’s bank account
Shone through the dull glow of the ATM like Monet.
And I basked in the light of day,
Alone and free, just the wind in me
Ready to dance to the beat of
A one man drum machine;
But will you never hear it?

Never had a daddy
To run to
When some boy
Broke my heart
Never had a father
To walk me down the aisle
Or to spoil me rotten
Never had a dad
To give a card to
On Fathers Day
Never had a dad to
Talk to
Or trust
Nevr had
A father
Who cared.

A key was gifted to a girl, a special goldon one, one that's worth more then silver and even diaomnds funds, this key is special to a guy. a guy she knows so well, his heart is made of platinum and a little goldon helm, she must also protect his key, with her guidance and her heart, hold it close to her eyes and never let it fall apart, it's special to her in every way, you couldn't nevr even sell it because it makes love in it's own perfect way, it's called the key to my heart, the door to my effection, something most girl's can't find unless they know me as a protection, she's the only one who gets the access, to a room of pure goldon hearts, i just hope she'll hold them to somewhere where they'll always be her start, my heart is a key, for her to open as she pleased, i just hope she doesn't break it and then turn it to a thousand degress, so at the end of the day, you're heart is very precious, make sure it never becomes any other guys effections.

It kills
Me honestly
Every day
No one truly sees
That I do cry for
Help it's
The way my eyes
Look
The way I gulp
I just wanna rush out
Of the room nevr look
Back

was there a day that i cried.
that day i wasted my life.
planting a seed of sorrow in my subconscious.
watering it with tears of hopelessness.
with the expectation of things getting better..
then i will be stronger,,
then i realised ......
when all is lost .
.there is one thing we nevr lose.
               HOPE!

i spit n kick like dew drippin off leaves,
i learned 2 b soft so i will b soft when i am brittle.
i think of the way i thought of u back then, lethargic at best,
pretendin like u were a god when really u just mistook all that drool for ichor.
im sure uve noticed by now im abrasive,
under the assumption that apples fall far from the tree and
“i swear that im soft, i swear my skin is thin and
i swear im bein honest,”
but ive nevr been honest, not even 2 myself,
cause i didn’t even realize i had walls up til u tried breakin em down and
i know i scare too easily,
its jus the way that i bleed,
im like a rabbit in the middle of the street and
you’re going 80mph and
my paws r 2 small to matter if i die again

Common sense kicks in when comments are said.
Least, when people ask about any regrets.
Do you wish this?
Don't you wish that you have done that?
Especially when it comes to love.
But we know the story.
You can't miss what you never had.

Whether it concerns love.
Whether it concerns riches.
You can't miss what you never had.

A person that only been wealthy.
Could never really accept being poor.
It's a total different reality.

We can hope.
We can imagine and even dream.
But if you never lived that life.
You can't miss what you nevr had.

I fell in love with a man that had no heart to love back with. when I met him he told me this he told me not to get comfy for love he did not believe a heart was ment to be broken for his was gone nevr to be seen .

song 1

I've always  looked at you like one prize, like prize liiike one prize
always believed like i nevr deserved you nono you alwasy made me feel like i never deserved you.. like ataying was favor...your doing me a favor
well today must be your luky day
cause i don't want you anymore
i do't need you to make feel you
to make me fee whole
cause you always make me bend myself so you walk over me
but not anymore
i won't let you
i don't need you
i don't need to

cause now am flying away back to where i started
i need to remember  where i started
where came from
cause this this aint never gonna work
weeee aint never gon work
cause we go back and forth tryna see who can win
argumernt that we barely even remember how started

sooo this is why i don't need you
i dont  need you
i dont need to
i dont need you to stay

My heart becomes a whisper
My hands becomes my life guards
Am I going to deep?
Should I retreat...me?
Retreat?
Softly moving the universe to your nakedness
Your eyes search my inmost being
Here you are to world you never seen
Vains pulsating maturity
Regretfully tasting your certainty
The only thing that stings the most was the day you told me you didn’t want nothing to do with me
..me?
But I’ve stuck closer then breath?
Why kick me out like ***** pet..
You know me ...and now months away I play the song we dance to
The scent of your chest is evident
The only thing I can think about
Is “I should of ****** you instead of having ***”.
Weird thing to think about but I should of gave it ruff
So I could wipe off what was left of your talking hips and seductive lips.
SHOULD OF NEVR GSVE YOU TRUST WHEN YOU ONLY WANTED ***,
Should .... kept my self but I don’t even know myself ...