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Bathsheba Nov 2010
Out today

To buy some plates

Nought to my liking

I’m in a terrible state!

Stuck behind

a

Renault Espace

‘Yummy Mummy’ (sticker)

In pride of place!

It piqued my interest

So …. I had a peek

‘Yummy Mummy’

What a cheek!

A face that looked like a sicked up bun

Could only

ever

be

loved

By this

Wobbler’s Mum

Oh my God

It made me laugh

“Cover up those warts,

hey, borrow my scarf”


What would posses this creature from hell?

To create the illusion

That she was a swell

Does she not realise

That we all have eyes?

A priest would think twice

Before he baptised

You would cross the road

To avoid this face

Yet …. She’s out in the public

What a ******* disgrace!

Next to her sat a fat baby pig

Dressed up to the nines

Methinks …

“It’s time for a cig …”

As I inhale

I look up to the sky

Apply too much gas

“Oh **** … I might die!”

I slam on the brakes

But alas

It’s too late

No time for reactions

No time for debates

Crash

Bang

Wallop


Straight into the rear

The car is a write off

There is trouble

I fear

As I gather my thoughts

This creature appears

Bedraggled and angry

Piglet’s in tears!

I try my best to calm her down

Soothe her wobbly bits

But she is all a bother

Piggy’s got the *****!


So … I look up and down the road

See … I know the drill



Just one simple gentle push

‘Yummy Mummys’

Over the hill!

Now …. Don’t you go a worrying?

Piglet

is

Safe and secure


I toss old squeaker in the boot

Start on my new detour

Soon I’m home and fired up

It’s time to raise the heat

Piggy will be spit roast

Sweet juices will secrete

Apples are gently cooking

Tatties are crisp and just done

I invite the neighbours over

For some summer bbq fun

Old Man Rodgers sits on his chair

Tucking

into

Porkpie’s arm

Lucy Lee the ******

Gobbles with old aged charm

We had a laugh that breezy day

Love was in the air

We danced naked round the spit roast

With abandonment

No care


Soon the feast was over

There was nothing left but bones

We tossed them in the wishing well

With the rest of the unknowns

**So next time you get an inkling

That you’re a ‘yummy’ or a ‘babe’

Be careful where you drive my friend

For your life’s about to fade

Fade into the darkness

Along with all the rest

Please pay attention to these words

For this is my last bequest
Damian Murphy Jun 2015
When men tell women they have the flu
That they have never felt so bad
The universal response, alas it’s true
Is for women to go stark raving mad!

Men with the flu are not taken seriously
By members of the opposite ***
Their illness the subject of great levity
Despite the debilitating effects!

Men are often told to simply stop whining,
(Like women never complain themselves)
Though it’s obvious their health is declining
They are just told to “get over your selves”

They tell us to grow up, be a man
suggest we need to grow a pair
“I work when I’m sick and so you can”
We are informed with a deathly stare.

We are told to man up, to stop snivelling,
They question whether we are men or mice
“Try giving birth if you want to know about suffering”
A phrase thrown at us more than once or twice.

They are always convinced it is just a cold
Though our temperature may be sky high
They are often adamant and will not be told
Though we feel like we’re going to die

Though sneezing and coughing like never before
Though our whole bodies are obviously aching
Sweating and shivering, every muscle sore
Yet they seem convinced that we are faking  

We are accused of being overly demanding!
They tell us not to be such a Mummys boy!
And though we might expect a little understanding
Most times they cannot even bother to try!

You would not think it was too much to ask
But it most certainly seems to be
though we are incapable of the simplest task
we can not get one ounce of sympathy

They accuse us of expecting a full time nurse
Though all we need is some loving care
But all the arguing just makes us worse
They never see they are being quite unfair

It seems that they really could not care less
they could not be bothered even trying
we feel bad enough but all this added stress
only makes us feel we’d be better off dying!

They accuse us of making a song and dance
Of making a mountain out of a mole hill
And really us men do not stand a chance
Unless we can prove beyond doubt we are ill.

Thank God for researchers at Stanford University
all men will forever be in their debt
They took the issue of men’s health very seriously
And studied the subject in depth.

They published their findings in 2013
Confirming the existence of the “Man Flu”
The research and conclusions are there to be seen
Facts with which no woman can argue.

It outlines facts you might not have known
Which may make you feel much better at once
It seems it’s men’s high levels of testosterone
That seriously weaken the immune response.

It is only because you are a real man,
because you actually have a pair
that you feel sicker than any woman ever can
it’s a scientific fact, so there!

So next time we get sick hopefully
Women might just believe that it’s true
Perhaps we may be taken more seriously
just in case we have the dreaded “Man Flu”!

The bad news alas, is that there is no cure
Though they are doing the best they can
So if your man gets the flu, ladies be sure
To be more patient,take great care of your man!
andy fardell Mar 2011
My son you are a star..my number one by far
you always make me laugh and tease me cos im daft
its great when we do buff and coding is real good
now looks yes there all mine but yours will be just fine
cos my genes are in you ..unlucky mummys too

Son you are a star ..my number one by far
your kinder than the rest and always give your best
footy is your game and boxing makes you brave
you used to be so small now tower over all

Son you are a star ..my number one by far
you help me every day and give your heart in so many ways
you love to stay around and make us laugh when down
dont change cos your the best
my son ..my star i love you more than the universe x
Micheal Wolf Dec 2015
I pod I phone I couldn't give a toss
Android or Google it makes me so cross
Jumpers with puddings antlers and bells
No ****** turkeys so fights at M and S
Away in a manger?
More like with the fairys!
Mummys half cut with the pre Xmas sherry
Dads bursting out of a suit that's too small
For a couple of kids who deserve **** all!
Santas naughty list is totally ignored
Hundreds are spent to hype it up more
Excess in all and no idea of why
Christmas is lost and the meaning a lie
Gifts for a newborn became a flat screen TV
The Christmas works party
***** or VD
It's Christmas yelled out by Slade and Roy Wood
Danced to by drunkards who hope for some luck
It's over next morning with socks and lynx
Do all women think we're barefoot and stink?
So love to you all and peace on earth
Haven't you heard a ****** gave birth?
Her dad was unknown the father quite odd
Talked like a ****** to some guy called god
She was probably spaced out on Lebanese red
Thought that an angel had been in her bed!
So drink up my friends and remember one thing
It's Christmas tomorrow the birth of the king.
So off to the church and pretend to be good
And full of good cheer
And back to hatred for the rest of the year
Were bombing the ***** out of the Holy Lands
The points been missed
We're all ******.
The fun I had at my new school




You see as I entered my new school, I was given the red carpet
By a friend who grabbed me by the neck and gave me tickle torture
And some of the older girls were saying keep away from me Brian Allan
And just muck with the boys, and then after that I listened to the 70s and 80s
Music on the boom box and I really wanted to hear it, he played songs from
AC/DC, and also from the red hot chilli peppers, and even the best from Billy
Ray Cyrus, and then some of the other boys spoke to me about going bowling
And others spoke to me about getting playboys, and also after that the girls
Were teasing me because I went to bed early, but I wanted to function
Well, so I can feel good and also some of the other families picked on me
Just because I was playing outside with my brother, especially when I was having fun
Playing football, you see back in my previous life, I played in the SANFL and
I don't have to worry about not playing footy in this life and I hear everybody treating
Me like an old fucken fogie, just because I want to go to bed abd get ready for work,
You see my friends are saying to me, through houses, things like, imagine what I would say
If I,,,, and he was so determined to treat me like a koomarri man,,even if I am still cool
And I know if he is still trying to tease me like that, he is living in 1987, where he is looking like a total ****** fucken ******, even if he ain't really saying it, but if he is, it just goes to show, that he is still living back in 1987, where he was actually very hip, but as a natural
Fact, dudes, I don't ever see him out, so I don't want to worry about lasers like him anymore, because, really, yes we had fun times, but, I mean, I have to move on, and if I don't see him again, well, dudes, so be it, he was fun, but I ain't jittering for him, no fucken way, I see visions of him trying to contact my brother through houses, and saying the kinds of things he said to me, he said, mate, don't be like Brian lately, I don't want to teaee Brian really, it just that he is unaware of the kind of old fogie, we treated him like, and also, I ain't a yeah mate yeah kid either, cause if he doesn't answer the phone, which I won't, it's his choice, you see, sometimes when he was young, he was too shy, and I wouldn't mind him hanging with me, but, he seemed to enjoy the family life better, but I never realised he didn't like Lyle, but, no, I don't think he is like Lyle, I want him to go to bed, because, if he works, he needs to sleep, to get rid of any sign of tiredness to face the day at work, you see, sometimes I hear my father and mother teasing me, because I am obsessed with evercise, and also I am obsessed with arty things, and I know dad isn't into art, but also Pat wasn't into art either, but I only want to muck with adults with an interest in art and not the rich ones, I am very interested in having art exhibitions showing off al, my art, and also I know what all my art is about, and a lot if it, is the fun times I had with my friends at school, I love art and I love to put on an art exhibition, and I want people to understand me for the artist I am now, and not the ****** I was in the past. I am aware that people are teasing me, but you can teaee me all you like, but who gives a flying ****, oh yeah, dudes, get ******, mate, get ****** mate yeah man, as you go down the dunny can, and that girl says, we're not mucking with you Brian Allan, no Brian Allan, we're not mucking with you, and the Canberra crowd says, your still like the kids, man,,don't try and be like us, I don't wanna do that again, neh, your still like us, ya ****** buddy, Bri,  urn, so sit there Bri,    Urn and do your stories, you see mate, your still not like us, mate, you are still an old fogie, cause you keep leaving me on my lonesome , and I will say, come on, you poor little baby, I am leaving you on your own, what's wrong little Patty, are you worried that I am not mucking with you, I went to pubs and danced with the chicks, I am still a ******, dude but I don't care, come on Patty, call me a loser, come on mate, call me a loser, come on mate, call me a loser, and then Pat says, I might kidnap him in a minute, but It was only Pats voice, in fact, it was Steven Bradley, who
Noticed my last life, Graham Thorne, jittering for his sister like a boy, and Steven Bradley has kept me in, so I wouldn't be a young dude, you see he went, trying to be a young dude, trying to be a young dude,,trying to be a young dude, cause you are still a ****** man,
So sit there, Bri.   Urn and don't move a muscle, you ain't a young dude anymore, so u don't want to tease you Bri. Urn, I just want you to lighten up a bit, because, get ****** buddy, yeah yer mate, your like us, but I might yell out get ****** Brian every time he jitters from now on, especially at work, but he is allowed to have music on, but, you know, mate, we ain't really teasing him, and  don't want to tease him, by ringing him up, cause I have a hunch that he gathers it might have been me, who rang him up, but, mate he wasn't like Lyle then,,but I was treating him like a mummys boy, because he is too shy to leave him home, but I heard that he might've moved out when I rang him up,,  I the hell would I know, we don't see much of each other much, you see, jt's nice to live on our own, but you should still go to bed when your tired, and you should make new friends,, and yes, you should talk about cooler things than just about people, but really, we just don't really want you to tell us your life story, but if you a creative keep it up, we're adults now, your cool


Sent from my iPhone
She was once a little girl,
Who loved to play in the dirt,with dolls and make up,
Then came puberty,
It felt like an enemy of her liberty,
Acceptance was hard to come by,
She couldn't understand the rapid changes on her,
Then the phase passed,
She's still a teenager,in her late teens.
So she's thinking of adulthood,
She's scared of taking those steps,
Having a career,then a job,then a family,and more
She's still mummys baby,
And daddys little girl.
But life is all about change,
And it goes on.
When people grow,it seems like time has moved too fast.
Angelica Bisi Apr 2015
Beneath the dull-flat paper sky.
The sun, pierced hot, like a demon's eye
glowed through the air--hot barren land, only
wandering sounds and footsteps in the sand.
The punishing gossip of white heat, with neither
progression nor retreat.
And shuddering by the noonday light,
humming ash lay stiff, dead, and white

Then through the night…

The waxing moon come slyly in
and reflects my darkest- cruelest sin.
Then underneath my wayward-veiled eyes
Aluminum Pinwheels in which the darkness hides

With powder on my mummys face,
Blindly dusting, I found our place.

But when we met, you lost all your choices..
And with our eye contact, we both lost our voices..

The piercing wind whistled…that deadly and eerie song,
but it covered up the screaming…
…And the beating
In the fog

Suffocation has taken on a painful new meaning
my throat twitches when I try to go to sleep as I’m dreaming.
Adele heyes Jun 2018
Every single time she trys to resist,
Grabbing the knife,
Starting to cut deep.
As her hands are shaking
Her tears are flowing,
She know it's only helping for a little while
She needs the pain
She can't cope with the emotion overload,

She know everyone says
Oh wait she's just a typical young mum
She can't handle it
She's never been mentally stable
But wait..
There's a figure of 10% of the young population who suffers from harming there self.
She cuts because she can't talk
She needs to harm her self without hurting anybody else.
This is where she fails..
Not realising she's bringing everyone down who knows about her problem.
But every days a struggle for her not to cause harm
She knows she's shouldn't be thinking like this but she can't control it.
It's spinning out of control.
She wants to see a doctor but she can't.
She's too scared loosing her child.
She's still looking after him
She puts her problems to the side
She's not realising her problems matter the most
If mummys not there, he's got nobody.
Mummy needs her mind to be healthy.
She's telling her self it is,
It's different when she's curled into a ball,
Crying like a *****
She can't stop the tears from rolling down her face.
She just wants to run away.

No matter how much she tries
She just can't stop,
The urge is getting bigger and bigger every single day.
She waking in the night
She day dreaming about it.
It just won't leave her mind.
It's in me more and more everyday.
It's becoming a part of me,
She thought it was there once then left.
She was wrong,
Its been here for months,
She goes to working thinking of it
She lays in bed dreaming of it
She's crying wanting it to leave
Why me why me?! She's calling.
She's screaming for help but nobody can hear she.
She's listening for the sound of help,
She can't hear it.
She's breaking,
She doesn't want nobody to see.
It's 10 years ago how can she be so stupid.
Why now?
It could of stayed dormant for the rest of my life.
Why come to me now??
Why just Why?
Nobody can tell me.
They all tell me to forget and move on.
Why can't nobody tell me nothing.
Why can't anyone tell me a way to stop this hurt.
The hurt needs to go.
She's making invisible thoughts to real scars.
But Why?
This guy took her advantage,
Taken her freedom.
Taken her innocence.
Made her lost her life.
Stolen 12 years of her life.
It just doesn't end.
When the pub gets knocked down,
Your gone from the memory.
She will only have the ones in her mind.
The pub keeps you here with her.
She may not have answers but she have hope.
If the pub goes it just takes you away. Nobody will remember in ten years and it will all be a blur.
But every day she will still be tripping over the same old story.
For every memory she have of you deserves a scar.
It's hard she feel like she has so many already.
She don't want anymore.
She feel like she havnt given my self the full length of the pain.
Why you? Why would you even make me be like this?
You didn't love her
You wanted to steal her;
Self respect
Her dignity
Her pride
Her childhood

No words can describe what you've done to her.

If you seen how she feels would it bother you?
If you seen what she has to do to take the pain away would it bother you
If you seen how many tears have fallen from her face would you be bothered?

For every tear is a memory you shared
It all seemed good
It's just many visions of abuse.
Micheal Wolf Jul 2018
The Christmas view from the foxhole.


I Christmas
I pod I phone I couldn't give a toss
Android or Google it makes me so cross
Jumpers with puddings antlers and bells
No ****** turkeys so fights at M and S
Away in a manger?
More like with the fairies!
Mummys half cut with the pre Xmas sherry
Dads bursting out of a suit that's too small.
For a couple of kids who deserve **** all!
Santas naughty list is totally ignored.
Hundreds are spent to hype it up more
Excess in all and no idea of why,
Christmas is lost and the meaning a lie.
Gifts for a newborn became a flat screen TV.
The Christmas works party
***** or VD?
It's Christmas yelled out by Slade and Roy Wood.
Danced to by drunkards who hope for some luck.
It's over next morning with socks and lynx.
Do all women think we're barefoot and stink?
So love to you all and peace on earth.
Haven't you heard a ****** gave birth?
Her dad was unknown the father quite odd.
Talked like a ****** to some guy called god
She was probably spaced out on Lebanese red.
Thought that an angel had been in her bed!
So drink up my friends and remember one thing
It's Christmas tomorrow the birth of the king.
So off to the church and pretend to be good and sing.
And full of good cheer at least for a day.
And back to hatred for the rest of the year.
We're bombing the ***** out of the Holy Lands.
The points been missed
We're all drunk and ******.
Big Virge Mar 2020
So ... Who Do You See … ?
When You Look In … " Your Mirror " … ???

Someone COMPLETE Or Someone Whose Glimmer …
Isn't Quite As Bright As You Might Like … ?!?

Now M.J. Has Passed ... His Song Still HARKS … !!!
Like White Does SHARKS With Racist Hearts ... !!!!!

Ms. America Now Has Caused Some FROWNS … !!!
Because Her Figure And Colour Has Triggered …

IGNORANT Fingers To Suggest Their Mirrors …
Would Rather NOT SEE … " Asian Beauty " … !!!!

REPRESENT …. " THEM " …. !!!!!

... "She's not American !" ...

Were Messages Sent To The Internet ...

Some Seemed SURPRISED … ?
So I'm Asking …… " WHY " …… ?!?!?

Their Mirror … " REFLECTS " …
As It's … ALWAYS DONE … !!!

A LACK of RESPECT … !!!
For Anything BEYOND Their Own Kingdom …

A Kingdom Built On IGNORANCE, GUILT And Dollar Bills … !!!

While Reflections SHOW ...
That All That's American … Is NOT GOLD ... !!!!!

In Fact … TRUTH Be Told …. !!!
They're ... Kind of BOLD ...
To Be Leaving Their Home ….
To Impose Controls On Foreign Zones ...

When It's CLEAR They Adhere To Racist Jeers …
Because of FEARS That ... Their Nations NEAR …
To People of Colour ... Clapping Like THUNDER … !!!!!
In Support of Each Other Instead of Buying HUMMERS … !!!!!

Does Your Mirror Reflect An Ignorant Head … ?!?

Or … One Who Checks Themselves For DEFECTS … ?

The Type That FLY In Blinkered Minds ...
Who REFUSE To See Who They ... TRULY BE …. !!?!!

A Vulnerable Soul Who Lacks CONTROL … !!!
When It Comes To Facing Up To … IGNORANT Stunts … !!!
They Pull For FUN That Just ARENT'T FUNNY … !!!!!
The Type That DUMMYS ... Wrap Up Like MUMMYS … !!!

Because They're Glimmer's For … DIM and DIMMER …  !!!!!

I'm NO Dave Schwimmer Or Olympic Swimmer ... !!!

But I Reflect Like Mirrors …
Because I'm A THINKER Who DOESN'T Wear BLINKERS … !!!!!

Because Those Who DO ...
Have TAINTED Views of How They Move …

Because of ISSUES ...
They Refuse To Remove From Their Bathrooms … !?!

When They Look At THEMSELVES In The … " Light of Day " ...
Instead They PRETEND That They're …. " OKAY " …. !!!

Girls Get Made Up … Fellas Run A Muck … !!!
And DON'T Give A THOUGHT To What They IGNORE … !!!!!

Internal WARS ...
That Seep From Their Pores …
Kind of Like …. " SAW " … !!!

Which Is NOT GOOD … !!!!!

Broken Mirrors In View …
Locked In … "DARK Rooms" ... !!!
Cos' You … LIED To YOU … !!!!!

See Some Mirrors Consume An Abundance of GUILT … !!!!!
In Souls Who Wilt ... In The Presence of TRUTH …

Unable To Shift What Lies Within …
The GUILT FILLED Things That TOLL BELLS RING … !!!!!

Because of SINS With Which … They LIVE … !!!

Their Mirrors Are CRACKED And That's A FACT … !!!!!

What They See Is CLEAR … !!!
If Somewhat … " SMEARED " ... !!!

Because They DENY What Lies Inside …
Their Body And Soul And INNER Mind ….

How They Roll Is A Story UNTOLD … ?!?
Because They Choose To Hide ... From REALITY'S Bite … !!!!!

Looking In Their Mirrors …
SOMEHOW With BLIND EYES ... !?!

BELIEVING ... They Are Winners …
Which Is Just ... ANOTHER LIE … !!!!!!!!

They HAPPILY Deny …
They'd Rather Not … Ask Why …
They Lie To Fuel Their Life …

Maybe ... Because Their Pride …
Makes Them Feel That They're Alright ... !!!!!!
My Mirror's FILLED With Lines That Prove To Me … " I'm Fine " …

NO Tainted Views Or Thoughts Confused … ?!?
Cos' I Choose To Refuse ...
Having My Issues Consume My Moods … !!!!!
Because of Moves I Chose To Use That Were Not Shrewd … !!!

NOPE … That's NOT ME … !!!!

My Mirror's CLEAN And Reflects CLARITY … !!!!!

Some See … UGLY … ?!?
While I See BEAUTY ...
And ….. " HUMILITY " ……

SUPERFICIAL Glows Are Now … " ON SHOW " …
In TOO MANY Homes And TOO MANY Bones ... !!!!!

The Man in MY Mirror Has Learned To Simmer ...
And OPEN My Eyes To A … " World of Rhymes " … !!!
That REFLECT My Life And ... Others In Sight …

WITHOUT Letting Pride Become What Defines …
The Way I Write About … Peoples' Lives … !!!

It Is What It Is NO Tricks or Gimmicks … !!!

Just Lyrical Fitness …
That Flows With A … " Slickness " … !!!

My Mirror Bears Witness …
To How I GROW With This ... !!!!!

SKILL That Now Lingers ...
Within My LONG Fingers … !!!!!

Like I Said ….
I'm NO Swimmer or Olympic Winner … !!!!!
But I'm PROUD To Be A THINKER … !!!

Whose Question Is … THIS …

What Is It You See When You Look In …

…. " Your Mirror " ….  ?
We all look into them at some point, however, the question is...

When you see yourself in the mirror, are you honest about what you see, that reflects who you TRULY are ... ???

— The End —