"monotoned" poems
my mind tends to ooze with a negativity
that leaks out & into my already searing
and prolonged wounds;
within this ragged & treacherous steam of consistency
I find myself laid out upon the very gravelish grounds
that I goofishly juggle with on a lazen basis
sometimes there
sometimes here
but a lot of times just nowhere at all.
where I disappear to I couldn’t be sure,
the empty screen in front of & behind me
don’t speak of much
but they do tend to catch my demiseful falls
every now & then;
seems these cavernous valleys have a soothing touch
to them,
a loosely held comfort that I know
better than I seem to know myself at times
and at times I wonder
what I am supposed to be protesting
within these grotesqueful lines
of a beautifully laid out tragedy,
for even here I do not feel
within the bounds of my own mental safety nets
but maybe an unthoughtful falling & tumbling
will do me some good?
to be comfortable with my own deathly summons,
I write to edge the demons within
to a borderline of both peace & content,
for truthfully no set of letters
can taint me as much as I might allow them too
although I can tend to lean towards the waywards
of an apathetic crustacean
through my own carelessness & ill suited
self brought upon lonesomeness
…
sometimes I cannot tell what is right,
or maybe best is a better way to put it.
for I long for a connection of connections
and equally equivalent siphonings,
but many a times I seem to find
that my end of the line has gone stale,
quiet, a desperate yet eerie monotoned scale
of solemn notes left to ring in the ears
of those who are strongly enough
to take the time to hear,
and for those that are not afraid to stare
deeply into their own darkened & blazeful caverns,
I am forever grateful.
Oct 7, 2022
Oct 7, 2022 at 2:14 PM UTC
I cast my line and reel in my bait
I cast my line and it's a snake
I cast my line, a reprobate
How much longer till I break
Patience is not a lesson I care for
I like waiting even less
I say, "that's enough", You say, "there is more"
- I'm breaking, I must confess
Vice on my heart, squeezing out tears
Thoughts are swirling all of my fears
Ripples in the pond spread out from my float
All goes still, there is a lump in my throat
Chin in my hand
Slumped and alone
My pole, unmanned
Heart's monotoned
I have cast in shallow waters
And reeled in dregs
Wandered forbidden corridors
And near lost legs
How much longer must I wander?
I trust You not to tip my boat
Believe You've brought me where I float
You've kept my rod from breaking
But not my hands from aching
It's the catch that I doubt
It's all one endless bout
I'm trying to practice trust
Though my heart's dusted with crust
Fishing, endless fishin'
Waiting on fruition
Fishing, oh, endless fishin'
Perhaps I'll reposition
Jan 30, 2021
Jan 30, 2021 at 9:53 PM UTC
A bleak sky halting the high.
Droplets bounce and illuminate minds.
Slipping south surrounded by sighs.
The trees give up, watch on, and die.
Monotoned musings falter at times.
The Earth looks on with a cheshire smile.
Suffocating in air as the world goes by.
Then look up and ask...why?
Apr 7, 2017
Apr 7, 2017 at 10:15 AM UTC
We are the Hopeful Romantics,
the Indigo Children,
the Wild Lovers with Untamed Souls,
the Colorfully Raging Light,
against the Monotoned Emotionless Masses.
We,
Are,
Unconditional Love.
∆
Oct 8, 2017
Oct 8, 2017 at 1:02 PM UTC
I try to spell it out to you, as simply as I can
I would write you notes,
but you'd claim you've forgotten how to read
I would call you, tell you everything
but I would be answered with a monotoned voice
telling me you've disconnected your phone
I try to find you in the crowd,
try to visit your house
you're never in, but you're never out
I don't know where you went, or maybe I do
maybe I don't want to know where you went
maybe the thought of you being gone, is too much
even for me
all I wanted to tell you is that I love you, but it's too late now
too late
always too late
Jan 2, 2014
Jan 2, 2014 at 4:03 AM UTC
I am terrified of what my age has become
Calling the weridos Gay because they don't fit in
Calling their friends whes and Fkboys because of their genders
they say everything is Stigma free but look around
It sure isn't
I am terrified my Anxiety might show and I'll have to just brush it off
as those who look at me weird because of this illness
My Grade doesn't understand that words can hurt
They say oh words don't hurt the tone does
But A man can scream at a woman" You're a S**T!" or can say it Monotoned
Both sentences will hurt that woman the same
Those kids laughed when 13 reasons why came out
Not grasping that the show was specifically for them
That people feel this way and that it isn't some comedy act
They don't understand why my voice stutters whenever I speak
Or that my hand writing is bad because of my weak hands
To them all I am is a weird girl who cried during a project because of something I lived through
I am terrified of what my grade has become
That they have lost all common sense
They say no one is born equal but they won't even try to help
They just laugh at those who seem different
And it is stupid
They make fun and harass those who aren't like them
and the Administration turns a blind eye
Saying Oh boys will be boys or that they were only just having fun
Well you know what you can have fun and not make someone cry for your own pleasure
I'm terrified of what my Grade has become because soon they won't realize what they are doing is wrong
I stress that I won't ***** up that my grades are good that I make a good impression
My Grade says they have stress
But They don't know what real stress is until you are sick from the stress you have
They don't know what real stress is until you can't think back to a time that you ever relaxed
They don't know what real stress is until you have realized you haven't eaten all day because you were too busy worrying about that grade you got on the insignificant quiz
I am Terrified about my grade because soon we will be adults and they will not be able to know right from wrong
Sep 21, 2020
Sep 21, 2020 at 5:30 PM UTC