so intense it moves from my body to yours
finally you understand
finally, finally, i made something for myself.
because when you're waiting for the right moment you're usually waiting on someone else.

replacing the words should, could, and want is at the top on my agenda. for now, for later, i'll feel better, if i do this. i feel literal. i feel analytical. i feel hard pressed. words come to me in a linear line with the beginning, middle and ending. is that why life feels a little confusing scrubbing through the timeline

finished watching my show and it seems to end perfectly. not sure how movies and shows tell me everything i need to know but im glad they do. the rest is learned from experiences. do i really have something to tell to people? if you're making something you must. and with every piece that you make you give a little part of you away. but you also take a little piece of something else.

is this how i feel or is it how im supposed to feel. i hope to understand the difference fully. it takes time. im supposed to use my senses to feel things to calm the nonstop talking in my head. its working. i feel the ridges of my two front teeth. the keys im pressing feel smooth. i think i smell the lemon from my dinner and i hear the ac, my show, a small hum, room tone.

its been a while since i felt that way

i guess when i check socials it feels like i need someone to tell me im doing something right, well, correct, even if it comes in the form of a like, share, comment. what im really craving is someone to give me real advice, real compliments, real talks. its easy to cover one up with the other, but it is not easy to confuse. i know i can see the difference clearly.

today i thought about literally doing anything and everything that comes to mind once i get my camera. i think its time to put some importance to my thoughts and stop worrying about if its the right thing to think. putting together puzzle pieces takes a few tries. a little time. some rotations. stepping away for a little. new point of views shouldn't scare you.